Is there a particular reason why guys out of my state will browse, send winks, and maybe send an occasional message, yet guys in my home state are not doing that?
My profile states clearly that I am not looking for somebody to be in a long distance relationship, but only local guys.
Just curious. Any thoughts on the matter, forum members?
I have no idea. Maybe for the same reason that I've gotten more views, messages, and winks recently (since I changed my picture and removed all info from my profile) than I had in the past several weeks? :rolleyes:
Are you more curious why guys in your state don't email you, or why guys from out of state do?
I can't tell you why guys within your state won't email you. I can tell you why guys out of state do. Even though you aren't interested, they hope that you might change your mind. Can't hurt to try, right?
When I had my mail settings open to allow messages from overseas I used to get messages all the time, even though my profile states that I am not interested. Of course the other reason why guys from out of state will message you is because they never took the time to read you profile in the first place.
Thanks guys for the insight. I guess it makes sense. A guy would a)have to try because he is so awesome; or b)did not read the profile. Just typing this made me laugh. Thanks for the laugh Cobbler!
Cobbler, do you find that the coolest, most interesting women are out of state for your searches?
It seems that way to me. I see the same people in my state when I do searches, and I take into consideration their location, nonsmokers, photo and the guy's profile description. Still, when I am on the boards and I see a photo that catches my eye on the profile banners on top and I click on the profile, for the most part the guys is way out of state. By the way, I do not think God is trying to tell me something about that. I think God probably wants me to hurry up and finish seminary, so I can serve soldiers.
Well, when I was in New Hampshire there was no one in my state. There were a few people in neighboring states, but I never got around to writting them. Now that I am in Texas, I am not really interested in the ones who are normally online, and the few that I would be interested in are dead profiles.
Indeed, it is my choice. My plate is plenty full of stuff, so I just can't make time for something long distance. It is better to block off a certain time period to spend with someone local.
There are many reasons why both men and women tend to contact people outside of their state , more than people within their state.
It all comes down to the frame of mind one is in at the time of their seeking. For me personally, I allow the Spirit to reveal to me the heart of the person whom I am considering as a potential mate in Christ. Compatibility in Christ is the key to a success righteous relationship.
Through the reading of her words, I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me in both addressing and answering her response.
This is very important, because many of the women I meet, I find it is simply for illumination and edification purposes only.
Also I find that most women locally, tend to want to rush into meeting and going out to eat, which to me tends to be a distraction
when it comes to really knowing the woman behind the profile.
Telephoning and Video chatting requires one to be patient, focus, engaged and committed to the conversation. When people are in your presence, they tend to put on a show to impress you.
However, when chatting, or on the phone, it tends to be more easy to see to person you're getting acquainted with, because of the informal setting. You are able to ask questions in private, that you might be reluctant to ask in her presence, and visa-verse'.
I agree that spiritual maturity is vital and essential to a successful relationship. I think this initial assessment is done by reading people's profiles.
In talking about long distance relationships, you mention using technology (phone, perhaps skype) as tools in getting to know the person. You mentioned being weary of wanting to meet up for activities because it may be distracting. I disagree with your position.
I am curious, what is the difference to you between spending time with people in person as opposed to the telephone? For example, in both instances I can see how someone may lie or misinterpret what is said. In either instance, one is then aware of the level of spiritual maturity. If someone is a frequent liar without repentance, that is an issue. If someone gets offended easily and does nothing to see other viewpoints, that is an issue. If someone gets easily angered, that is an issue. Can you understand that whether in person or telephone, one can detect these things?
While I agree that anybody can be at their best for 90 minutes at a time, I also believe it takes time and togetherness to built knowledge about the other person to build trust overtime. The first 90 days are crucial. After 90 days, patterns of behavior that may have been hidden before, begin to emerge. At that point, both parties need to assess whether or not to continue in that dating relationship.
I can understand how physical touch is not possible if only communicating through telephone or skype, thus there is a lower possibility of sinning on that area. The other side of that argument is that I could not tell what are the limits and boundaries the other person currently has in dating relationships. I am not saying that the rules need to be pushed. This may not be a comfortable topic to approach by phone, but it may also be a source of temptation.
Finally, I agree that the Lord needs to be in charge and leading both parties. The Spirit should lead us in this decision making. Thanks for your comments.
prolly cuz the guys sending you winks dont bother to read your profile, or they are too hyped up on hormones to be rational.
As for guys in your state not messaging you, there are 7 billion people in the world. It very well may be that the more ideal men just aren't in your state.
