Author	Thread: Godly Wisdom and Advice needed
Admin	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 09:40 PM Well, I'll just tell my story then state my dilemma. This girl visited my church, I'm in NC, she was from Ohio. We exchanged a few words, and left. We connected on facebook afterwards. We've been talking and are currently praying about being together. It's weird, because she's a pretty, sweet, loving, godly girl, but I don't feel "butterflies" when I talk to her. I know that there's a difference between infatuation and love, but shouldn't I at least feel some butterflies when I'm on the phone with her? It could be she's so far away and were not physically together. Or it could be that I'm WANTING to like her, instead of actually liking her. I've prayed, and I've thought God said yes and no. I'll keep praying, but I think one of the best ways is to get Godly advice from fellow men and women... So what do you guys think? Do I WANT to like her, or do I actually like her? And how SHOULD I feel? Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 09:42 PM Keep in mind, I know that people usually feel butterflies, and then fall in love and know they love the person even when butterflies and other symptoms are absent, but shouldn't I at least start out with butterflies? Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 09:49 PM Also, let me state how I thought God answered me. First, at church, after I had been contemplating whether or not to start up the relationship, a man approached me and told me God was going to send a beautiful woman my way. So I took that to mean that the girl I was stuck on wasn't the one. But afterwards, I remember reading proverbs 31a few years ago and asking God to send me a girl like that, and this girl matches that description. But that doesn't mean God sent her I guess. I guess logically speaking, I'm thinking it's not her, but I want to be sure. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 10:11 PM I think I was in that situation in the last relationship I had. Even though I loved her, it wasn't like before because there was no excitement because she lived on the otherside of the country and had been through other relationships before and just didn't have the zip because I'd seen the other side too many times too frequently and she couldn't understand why I just was like that. That said though, I think you should pursue that because you don't know if it will work out or what will happen untill you try. For me, even though it ended badly I don't regret it, and that's what it's all about I think. Good luck. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 10:52 PM Thank you for your input brother.. and I like your name, lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 11:17 PM :laugh: Thanks Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 5 Oct, 2011 04:37 AM Unless you're opening a nature reserve, forget the butterflies! Instead ask yourself this: if she said she didn't want to talk to you again, would you do something about it? Do you look forward to each chance you get? Scientists say that the feeling of being in love lasts for a little under two years which means you need more than just a feeling to be there in order to sustain you both. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 5 Oct, 2011 06:55 AM Could it be, Boxer, that you usually only feel 'butterflies' with someone who is fiestier? Harder to get? Often, when we are familiar with tension in the household while growing up, we don't feel 'familiar' with someone who is peaceful and loving and can interpret it as... well, boring! Ask God to see if there is some unfinished contension in your background that He wants you to grow in first, before you can offer this pretty, lovely, godly woman your heart. In the meanwhile, don't flirt in your conversations with her about your possible future as a married couple with her. This will only tangle her heart and give her false hope (and break her heart) if you are only "wanting" to love her. I recommend the book "Wild At Heart" :yay: Excellent guidance for being all the man that God has for you to be, including towards the princess He has for you!:excited: Blessings on this bumpy road! Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 5 Oct, 2011 01:14 PM Sounds like you are bored with this young woman. Only you know what you really are looking for. I would be Honest up front with her about what you are saying here on the Forum. Chemistryonline or off is often times a turn on and seems like you just do not have it for this lady. Praying about it is best, however, you have to except what God says to you, not just what we want to hear. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 5 Oct, 2011 08:17 PM You're on the right path to start off Boxer, but I think you are not asking the right question. The bottom line is that love is not about feelings or desires - although that usually goes along with a romantic relation ship, but love more than anything else is a decision and commitment. Post Reply
View Profile History	Godly Wisdom and Advice needed Posted : 5 Oct, 2011 10:56 PM Well you put this in 'ask a guy' so I won't try to advise you, only give you my view point from my experience. Also, please note that what I'm about to say is just my human experience, and not in anyway something I got specifically from God for you. You may want to try praying with someone from church for that! I was in a similar situation a few years ago. A guy from church really wanted us to be in a relationship, and I didn't really feel those 'butterflies'. On paper, however, he has almost all the qualities I could have hoped for in a husband. I tried to pray about it, but he was so sure it's what he wanted that he wanted an immediate answer, and I felt that if he wasn't willing to wait (because I wanted to wait on an answer), then it would be better just to say no than enter into the 'wrong' relationship. So it didn't work out. We've remained friends and years later I definitely think if I allowed myself to I COULD feel those butterflies, so a sustaining love can definitely grow on you. It's possibly just not the right time for you. If I could have done things differently, we both would have prayed and waited on God, and if we didn't hear anything, have settled for getting to know each other as friends and focussing on God, so that we could both align ourselves to His will in His perfect time. It might still not have happened, but at least I would have known that I let God take the steering wheel, and not my (slightly shallow) feelings. Post Reply

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