Author	Thread: The X issue
Admin	The X issue Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 04:26 PM I feel lame for doing this but all my gal and guy pals are busy at the moment so here I am. I'm asking all the ladies and gentlemen to respond. Just got back from a quick trip into Target and ran into my ex-boyfriend. He was with a girl, apparently his new girlfriend. We didn't say hi to each other but I know he saw me and I'm pretty sure he knows I saw him. (especially when I had to wait for him and his girl to cross the street so I could drive on. Proud of myself...I didn't run him over!! LOL) Gotta be honest, running into him left me a little jilted. Not entirely sure why. We were together for 2 years but they were extremely rocky. A lot of highs and lows. Relationship has been over for a year and a couple of months. Last time we spoke was in February. I called him, he acted like a jerk, and I got the hint. Sent him a polite text when there was a death in my family and his response was polite but curt. It's truly over and I'm okay with that. He wasn't good for me and I wasn't good for him. I've moved on. I've met and dated a couple of guys in my area. None materialized into relationships but that's okay. I'm in no rush to jump back into another relationship. I'm waiting on God now. So then why did running into him leave me shaky? I know I don't want him back. So what gives? Please weigh in. Thank you! Post Reply
View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 07:04 PM because you saw him with a girl 'apparently his gf' and you are still single. If you had a bf at this moment in time, how you would've felt would've been different. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 10:34 PM LoonyK is right. I don't know why we are the way we are, but I think almost every human on the planet has this inner desire to want to outwardly be the one who ends up better off. It's hard to explain since it isn't something you can really put into words, but it's basically posturing. Like when animals challenge each other in the wild, they both start posturing to show who is stronger/better, etc. Humans do the same thing when it comes to people who have had a large impact in their life with an ultimately negative outcome. For example, I am pretty happy with my life (have some bad things going on now, but we all do sometimes) and feel like I'm doing well with where I'm at, but I don't want to go to my high school reunion unless I "have it together" on the outside. I'm still single whereas most of the people I knew in high school are married and/or have kids. I don't want to show up and be "the loser" because I'm alone. It's the same thing with relationships. You and your ex were together for quite some time, so even though you have moved on, you don't want him to see you without some arm candy of your own :ROFL: (I love the phrase arm candy! It's highly amusing.) The thoughts that may be going through your head (possibly without you even knowing you're thinking it) are, "Maybe he'll think I'm not over him," or, "Maybe he'll think I'm not good enough to find someone else even though I am," or, "Maybe he'll think I'm hurt over him moving on," or any number of things like that. And you want to prove you're over him and/or that you are good enough to find someone else, but you can't prove it when you're single and he's not. I don't know if any of that makes any sense since it is something very hard to put into words, but that's the best answer I can think of! It doesn't matter if you're over someone, you still have a subconscious desire to "prove" you're "better off" without them. Post Reply
Statie View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 02:20 PM No one likes to end a relationship on a sour note. Albeit an interpersonal relationship within your circle of friends or something more along the lines of a romantic nature. When you date someone for awhile and grow to care for them and during the course of that relationship the dynamics change so it evolves into a situation where you can barely be civil to each other--I would think that would leave with you with a sense of failure to some degree. Not because you no longer had a love interest in that person but because even a chance meeting you found no joy in seeing that person you once cared deeply for and apparently neither did he because he did not acknowledge you. Also seeing him with another woman--someone that could find joy in him only serves to remind you of a failure you most likely will never be able to rectify. People have ex partners for a reason it's unfortunate that we cannot celebrate and remember what we found wonderful about them instead of the memory of how they hurt us or how bad we parted---just a thought. Post Reply
View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 04:54 PM Thank you for keeping it real. I do believe my reaction to this encounter would be vastly different if I was not single and if my dude had been with me at the time. And even though I definitely don't want him back, I don't believe I failed in the relationship. Oh don't get me wrong. I take full responsibility for the actions I did which led to the demise of the relationship but truth be told it was doomed from the start. It was one of those where you know that you know it's not going to work. But being the tenacious (or just plain stubborn) gal that I am, I said yes to him even though it went against the Lord's leading, my instincts, and family's disapproval. This lesson knocked me down and the wounds have almost healed. Live and learn!! :yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 11:59 AM There is something referred to as a "soul tie" which is probably referring to the scripture which speaks about "becoming one flesh". Although the relationship apparently was never good - the principle still applies - especially if there was physical intimacy on any level. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 02:21 PM miracleman, what do you know about soul ties????? this is the first time I have heard anyone on these forums use that term. I havent been on the forums for a bit and just popped my head in. keep it up. Post Reply
View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 08:07 PM Just one of those wierd things that only gets better with time. Post Reply
MyCrownIsGod View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 10:32 PM Soul ties are emotional/physical/spiritual bonds to people from our past, particularly romantic relationships. Real quickly, God intended marriage to be between a man and women, to become one flesh, to bond, totally and completely to each other...their hearts and souls to be knit together in love... So...when two people split up, even if they never slept together, because you're heart was invested in that person, you got a part of their soul, and they got a part of yours, spiritually, emotionally. The reason breakups are so painful and the pain lingers, is because the soul tie was never broken, and you never got your pieces back. So, seeing him was upsetting to you, probably because you never broke the soul tie with him. This is even more devastating in sexual relationships and broken marriages, because the emotional and spiritual tie is stronger. Try this: "Father God, I come to You, and ask that You break any ungodly silver corded soul ties between me and ______. I ask for the missing pieces of my soul and heart back, and I give ________back theirs. I plead the Blood of Christ over both of us, to fill these empty places, and ask forgiveness for my part in our broken relationship, I ask you to help me pour out all the pain in my heart, and give it over to you, so that I can fully and completely move on in my life. In Jesus's Name, I pray. Amen" You should do this for every past relationship, or person who has hurt you that was a big part of your life for any length of time. It is simply a part of forgiveness therapy, and will help you to let go of any lingering pains in your heart you may not be aware of. I hope this helps. You can contact me if you have other questions. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 08:57 AM I dont know if your response was for my benefit but if it was ..thanks and nice job. good to see young people learning about inner healing / deliverance. blessings Post Reply
MyCrownIsGod View Profile History	The X issue Posted : 4 Oct, 2011 10:32 AM I am called to be in deliverance ministry. I just wanted to help. :) Post Reply

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