Over the last two days I've read a firestorm of comments between a few people here that began with something small and spiraled out of control. Of those people involved, it seems no one thought to step back and see the folly of what they were doing. The end result is that one has now been banned, a few more have had their reputations tarnished on this site, and others are hurt by flippant comments.
If you don't believe me that others were hurt by comments, I am a prime example. There was a comment made about people with a spoiled prince attitude who can't even change their own oil. That touches a very tender nerve with me. I commented to my uncle just this evening that I feel like I lack real life skills that a man needs to know such as changing ones oil. Shoot, I feel like if I am to be married at some point in this life, I'm expected to know how to fix stuff and my best answer will be to duct tape it and call someone. I can do a lot of things but this comment sure feels like a jab at a weakness of mine. Long story short, I feel disappointed in the people who carried this conversation on.
I understand some of those involved have reconciled their differences. This is good. However, I think we can all learn from this experience by examining scripture.
James 3 says:
Taming the Tongue
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one�s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God�s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such �wisdom� does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
If nothing else, we need to take from this that what we say can have very powerful effects either for good or bad. As such, when we speak, what we say must sow exactly the things listed in verse 17. If it does not and we refuse to see our folly when it is pointed out to us, we give Satan a foothold to part us from each other and make us worse off than we were before. I think Luke 11:17-26 in some ways points this out:
17 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: �Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. 18 If Satan is divided against himself, how can his kingdom stand? I say this because you claim that I drive out demons by Beelzebul. 19 Now if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your followers drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. 20 But if I drive out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.
21 �When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. 22 But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder.
23 �Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.
24 �When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, �I will return to the house I left.� 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.�
In conclusion, I want to implore everyone who posts regularly on these forums to do so with civility, patience, and wisdom. We are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Yes we may have differing opinions, but if we cannot treat each other as Christ demonstrated to us how much is our witness affected?
Good night and I look forward to further conversation with everyone soon.
Thanks for sharing these passages! It is a great reminder that as Christians, we are called to approach everyone with love.
We touched on this subject during my Sunday school class yesterday. The topic was how Christians are supposed to conduct themselves as strangers and aliens of the world. One point that really stuck out to me goes along with what you posted.
1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
As Christians, everything we do should honor God - our words, our actions, everything. This verse causes me to pause and think - will the words I'm about to say honor God? If they won't, then they probably aren't worth saying.
Chevy, this is someone's website, and they allow us the privilege of using it without paying a fee. You do not enjoy the right to free speech here, because it's private property.
On the whole, I agree with your post, stegoodie. I appreciate you taking the time to share your heart so vulnerably with us and to point out a Scripture that is paramount to how brothers and sisters in Christ should "speak" to each other on here.
What I disagree with is that joking about sex slavery is a "small thing." It has been disheartening to me to see so many people on here making light of such a grave, hurtful act. As a former sex slave, I'm trying to think of what I could say to help people realize that sex slavery IS a problem and not something funny, but have finally come to the conclusion that only the Holy Spirit can "make the blind see." Sometimes, there's nothing we can say to convince someone else, and the most we can do is pray that their eyes will be opened to the reality of the situation. The reality is that girls as young as age 4 are rented for sex in cities all across the nation. The reality is that this is probably happening in your community. The reality is that this could happen to your future daughter. As I said in my other post on this matter, being sold into the sex trade is rape. When someone is forced to have sex, it's rape. When we joke about that, we're not only making fun of someone's trauma and pain, we're also making fun of the sinner there. Men who rent/buy women need to be restored to Christ right along with the rest of us. When we joke about the whole thing, we are essentially minimizing the importance of these men controlling their lust; we're saying that their actions are funny v. something that is problematic that needs to be addressed. And if Two's comments weren't in jest, then that scenario is really just as bad. I don't find anywhere in my Bible where buying prostitutes is something that's acceptable for Christians. And if a "young woman" being talked about (as was in the scenario), then, statistically speaking, she's probably underage -- which means that it's probably also illegal. Either of these scenarios is sinful.
My offence to the posts is based on the fact that they go against God's Word. When I decide whether or not to address or report a post that I don't like, I take a step back and discern whether my disagreement is because the post violates a personal preference or because it truly is sin. There is a difference. We all have things that we find offensive that aren't actually sin. And we can't please everybody; our goal shouldn't be to please everybody. BUT, what we do need to do is follow God's Word. When we're looking at whether or not we should post something, that's our ultimate criteria.
As for the censorship issue, since it's been brought up repeatedly, I'm going to address it. I have no authority to censor anything on this website. When each of us signed up on this site, we agreed to the Terms of Service. Among other things, the Terms of Service is a long list of rules. Additionally, there are those words in red print at the top of the forum pages (not insulting others, etc.). Those are all things that you agree to abide by when you post, and, in posting, you also recognize that you may be banned if you break those rules. I certainly won't argue against that being called censorship, but I think that it's fair to say that CDFF is the entity in charge of the censorship here. My recommendation to those who disagree with the Terms of Service is that you contact the admin. They have authority to change the rules; I do not. No matter how much you make fun of me out on the open forum here, I still don't have the authority to change those rules. Furthermore, the Bible has rules for us. As Christians, we should have a desire to abide by God's "censorship."
In order to keep this a safe environment, we ALL have the responsibility to report posts that go against the Terms of Service. There have been other cases on this forum where members have been totally out of control, but it's taken months to get them banned because only one person is actually reporting them. In one case, someone went on to cause a lot of hurt and deception. Had more people not been afraid to report her posts, she probably would have been gone long before she hurt multiple people. As Christians, when we see people hurting others, we have a responsibility to step in there and help stop it. When we don't, we're condoning the behaviour.
Additionally, as Christians we have a responsibility to follow the "conflict resolution" guidelines outlined in Matthew 18. Those guidelines do not include things such as name-calling and retaliatory actions. If someone approaches you per the guidelines in Matthew 18, know that they LOVE you enough to genuinely want to reconcile. Praise God for that! It should not be taken as a personal attack and should not lead to mudslinging-type conversations. If someone is just sweeping your sin under the carpet and not following Matthew 18, then, to be very frank, they're not loving you fully in Christ. I approached Two privately about his first of the sex slavery threads and his response was not favourable. As I said in my other post, he challenged me, v. repenting.
In Two's original sex slavery post, he said:
"ATTENTION!!!
"Are there any victims of the "sex slave" market reading this thread? We want to hear from you! Please post!
"So you do not feel intimidated to post: I have said for the second time now the sex trade is evil; and am not joking about it as the above poster says.
"However, I am making a point --- a hugh point-- which he misses; that is a need and desire innate to men which is not met by the modern and typically American woman, ie : to be a type of kingsmen redeemed.
"*So if there are any "victims" that feel offended by this post let me know and I will publicly apologize.
"If not.....MoG can take his effeminate brainwashed mindset and go fly a kite."
Yet, when I let him know, both privately and publicly, I was ridiculed repeatedly, called names, attacked, etc. And that's part of how this got out of hand -- is from Two not keeping his word and apologizing. Rather, he chose to post a series of retaliatory threads, which other people jumped into and retaliated against me, as well.
As Christians, we have a responsibility to exhort our brothers and sisters in Christ to not sin and to keep their word. If any of you fully loved Two, then you would have encouraged him to keep his word and to apologize, rather than cheering him on when he went the other way. And I know that's a very difficult thing to do! I have a friend in "real life" right now who I need to be doing that with, and have been guilty of not doing. It IS much easier to let our friends do their thing. It's difficult for me to put my friendship with a dear sister on the line to confront her. So, when I say these things, I'm not trying imply that it's easy or that it's something that I do perfectly... Neither is true. It's not easy and I don't do it perfectly. But it's still right, and it's still Biblical, and we all need to be practicing it.
Going back to the Matthew 18 passage, I think it's important that we realize the purpose of confronting someone with sin. The purpose is to restore that person to the Lord and also to other believers. It's not an attack. When we attack someone else (such as by name-calling) then WE are the ones who are in sin. That is NOT a Biblical way to address conflict. Furthermore, when you attack someone and then block that person from contacting you privately, you are showing an unwillingness to genuinely reconcile. There are at least 2 people who have been involved in these discussions who have made accusations against me. Yet, when I went to private message them to attempt to resolve things, discovered that I was blocked. Matthew 18 is not a one-sided approach. It's not one believer accusing another and then running off and not allowing the other person to respond. So, any of you who have accused me of things on here, if you want me to take you seriously, then you need to unblock me, and you need to approach me per the guidelines in Matthew 18. Otherwise, the logical conclusion that I have to come to is that your intention is to attack v. reconcile. And, as I've stated before, I will not participate in conversations that attack people -- because it's sin.
pixie dust You are the reason Two got banned. With your self righteous mumbo jumbo. I dont know who died and left you God, but my response to you is ___>BOO HOO
No, Two got banned because the Admin banned him. Based on what the Admin state in the Terms of Service, they choose to ban persons when they break the rules. So, we could also say that Two got himself banned when he broke the rules repeatedly. Once again, I do not have the authority to ban anyone. If you disagree with the decision that Admin made regarding Two, then you perhaps you could email them a well-thought out argument as to why you feel Two's breaking of the rules did not warrant him being banned.
Your repeated abuse reports is what got him banned~~ not the content of his posts. Stop passing the blame. If I go back to all your sexual posts and send an abuse report on each one I found offensive, I wonder if they will ban you?
Chevy, this is not an automated system where users automatically get banned after so many reports are filed. Furthermore, I have not passed the blame for reporting Two; I've admitted it multiple times. As a Christian, it is my duty to follow Matthew 18. When someone is approached per Matthew 18 but does not repent, then, per Matthew 18, authorities should be brought in to the mediate the issue. In this cause, those authorities decided to ban Two.
As far as handing any posts of mine that you see as sinful, it is absolutely your responsibility to do so, and I encourage you to do so. You're welcome to message me at any time to discuss the content of my posts with me. If you clearly show me, per Scripture, that I have sinned (v. just offending a personal preference) and I refuse to repent, then you absolutely should report me. Thus far, though, only 1 person on this site approached me Biblically about one of my posts (before you were on this site, I think?), and I repented in the thread itself and apologized publicly. Had I refused to repent and apologize in that situation, then the user absolutely should have reported me.
I honestly am not seeing how sharing parts of my story violates Scripture. Is it is a sin that I was sexually violated? Absolutely. Is it a sin for me to be transparent about my life or to minister to others through the pain I've experienced? I don't see in Scripture where it is. Thus far, no has pointed out to me where it is either. All that others have done is call me names. Calling me names is not showing me MY sin; it's showing me YOUR sin.
You are a rude insensitive Jerk,who hasnt a compassionate bone in his body.Your more worried about your loudmouth friend,then a person that has already told you she was a victem of the topic that was being joked about.Your lucky Im not there in person son!!!!!
