Author	Thread: How can I reach her??
stormcountry33 View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 18 Jul, 2010 08:39 PM I post a prayer concern in the prayer request but perhaps I should post it here... I have known this young lady for roughly 9 years and in that time she kind of disappeared from me for awhile...she came back in my life but she was living with a guy and has had a child with him. She recently gave her life to Christ and has left him because he did not support her in her choice, that and some other issues I'm not aware of...I know from sites like myspace and facebook that she feels alone and confused yet she is reaching out to God for peace. I have developed a relationship with her 2 and 1/2 year old daughter as my mom watches her (she runs a daycare). I know from certain situations that took place that she trust me with her daughter. I feel God leading me in trying to reach out to her, but wondering how can I tell whether or not she returns interest in me?? I have posted things on her facebook page with no response yet I still feel God's leading me to reach out her. As single parents, I'm hoping you can me some insight as what might be going through her head. I know she wants to do what right for her little girl...I also know that she needs a good Christian man in her life...I guess I'm looking for encouragement, again...I seem to be in search of that a lot lately..thanks Post Reply
View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 19 Jul, 2010 07:25 PM Hey Storm, it sounds like she is in the middle of a lot of transition and in need of heart healing from her relationship with her baby daddy. Your best move, (I think) is to offer your friendship and any spiritual advice she may need. You may want her to get over him and be healed, as well as get some type of foundation in the Word b4 she would be ready to be with anyone. Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 19 Jul, 2010 11:32 PM Thanks BG, I have opened myself up to God's leading and have taken some steps He told me to...wouldn't you know it they've turn out alright so far!! I have decided to persue her with an open heart towards God...trying to let His voice guide me. I'm also praying His Will to be done and if that means I'm disappointed for now, then I'm also asking for acceptance of that...waiting it out as of now. thanks again! Post Reply
View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 20 Jul, 2010 04:37 AM Amen, when you are following His ordered steps and voice, you can be sure you're on the right path. Post Reply
View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 22 Jul, 2010 08:22 PM I dont know for sure, but I can speak from some experience, is that maybe God wants to work on her from the inside, and help her clear her mind and heart from the bad experiences she may have had before she can even think of another relationship with a man. It is very hard being a single parent, and having a bad experience with the father, but she is pretty special to Him because He opened her eyes to the truth, and wants to work in her life to better her life. I would say you keep trying to reach to her, get her in the bible, teach her things in it. It took awhile before I actually got in the bible and then a little longer before I actually understood it, that it was clear to me, and it is going to my church with the pastors there helping me to understand. She needs someone to help guide her, to be a positive influence, and when the time is right, she will see that the people who do that for her, are the ones that really matter. It takes time though. But God is a miracle worker, I know that for sure! He knows whats best, and He loves you very much and will give you an answer, and He loves her very much, that He will show her what He wants for her :) Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 28 Jul, 2010 07:55 AM Okay I need some insight to what she might be thinking. I called her last saturday about going canoeing this up coming sunday and she sounded somewhat excited about going but said she'd have to wait til the next day to get her schedule for the up coming week but that she'd let me know if she could go...4 days later I still haven't heard from her as to whether or not she can go, I know she is going to through a lot but as excited as she sounded...I don't know. I guess I'm just anxious...any thoughts would be appreciated. God Bless!!! Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 28 Jul, 2010 01:48 PM I can only speak for myself since I don't know this girl or her personality. Work schedules can be tricky. If she didn't get the day off, she maybe trying to trade with someone or work something out. Or, as in my life when my daughter was little, life was the tyranny of the urgent. The important or desired got put off for the urgent. You are a gentle soul, Storm. I'm sure that you can graciously contact her and let her know that you have preparations to make if you are going to go this weekend, without putting pressure on her. It would give her a chance to explain and you a chance to offer any help she might need to make it possible for her to get out of town. You are a great guy! I think you just need a tad more confidence in yourself. You have a good heart and instincts. Lean on God's guidance and you can trust on your judgement a little more. Blessings always! Rose Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 31 Jul, 2010 08:17 AM I found out yesterday that she has to work and can't go canoeing with me...I guess she seemed sad about not being able to go, but anyway...I know that I can and have made her laugh, she knows deep down I'm a decent guy, she trust me with her kid...how do I NOT fall into the "friend" category with no hope of anything more?? Post Reply
View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 13 Aug, 2010 10:33 PM Tricky...I have not mastered that one yet. If you are genuinely interested in helping her, then be her friend without expecting anything in return. I know this is hard, but if she is hurting and you go into this with the thought that it will turn into something, and it doesn't, then you may end up hurting her more in the long run. Likewise, you may be setting yourself up for hurt as well. I can tell you from personal experience, she needs a friend right now not nessesarily a relationship. In my humble opinion, the only true way to reach her is to aproach it prayerfully and with a genuiness that displays that you are her friend no matter what happens between you two. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but it is truly, in my opinion, the best way to go. And also, wanting to be someones friend and trying to reach them is different from wanting to date them. At least, I found that one out the hard way. lol J Post Reply
View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 30 Aug, 2010 09:10 PM You have no control over becoming just a friend. I feel that, reading through your responses that not much time has passed since being with this other guy, and since they have a small child I am guessing they have been together over a year. She is going to need time to heal from that relationship for at least two years. That means no dating her for at least that long. She needs to adopt an accountability partner (a Christian female), and get counseling, also by a Christian female. You need to not be involved until after all this has taken place. Because she is eventually going to see you moving to quickly, if she has not already. Her counselor, will let her know when she is able to date, and move on with her life. You do not want to get caught up in a rescue relationship. Because they never work out, and you will be very hurt by it too. I would suggest being a phone friend ONLY until she works through everything. Do not pray with her either. Its OK to add her to your prayer list, but do not pray with her. Keep the relationship distant until she is healed. She needs it and you will be less hurt in the end if you distance yourself, if she decides, after her healing, that you are not the one. On the other hand waiting will only build trust from her and respect as well. So weather or not she winds up with you or not your integrity for remaining her close "acquaintance" will speak volumes, and your own heart will be guarded in the process. I hope this helps, even though its not something I think you want to hear. In Christ SacredWarrior Post Reply
soultrees View Profile History	How can I reach her?? Posted : 25 Sep, 2010 10:49 PM My first look at the chat forum... and first post too! Sacred Warrior's advice was the best.... and most sacred. :laugh: As I read your questions and concerns, I too was thinking of Titus 2:3-5. She is to learn and glean from older women, not men. I also felt the need to suggest that you let her connect with the one true man in her life right now... Jesus! She needs to remain man and relationship free for the next year and draw near to HIM only. The best way to reach her? Encourage her to connect with a woman in her church community to mentor and disciple with and woman to pray with. Yes, you can pray for her... but agree.... definitely not with her... that is way to intimate for her right now. She needs to be intimate with the Lord first. Let's be honest with ourselves of the times we live in... and what will likely happen if we date when not ready and intimate with the Lord and ourselves first. Blessings. Post Reply

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