I am so tired of being a SINGLE parent. My children are growing up without a father. I don't have the money to give them what they want and sometimes what they need. All my children have behavior problems. I have one with autism, but he is extremely smart. My family lives in FL and I am stuck in another state, Georgia.
The kids father was sent to prison years ago. I have no free time except when the kids are at school. Every morning is a fight to stay sane and saved.
I stay in church, I work in the church. I am earning my degree online, and about to go back to earn a Nursing certificate so I can get back to work after 3 years.
What frusterates me more is not being able to date. I don't have time to put myself out there. If I did I probably would be ashamed of my children's behavior. I love them but sometimes they make me miserable.
How do I find time for my self when I don't have support from family WHO knows our situation but refuse to help?
Welcome to the Single Parent forum. You will never find time for yourself as a single parent any more than married parents find time to date. You have to MAKE time. Set aside time for yourself and be tenacious in protecting it. Talk to your pastor about a "Mother's Day Out" type of program. Check out the "How to explain an absent father" thread. There are a lot of good ideas on how to recruit help on that thread.
I know exactly how you feel, whats worse is that I have little to support system. I am literaly the man who fell alone in Ecclesaties. However, our God is mighty He will strenthen you Habakuk 3:17-19.
I know it dosen't seem like much for now, I know you wanna pull your hair out, and you feel guilty for just wanting to get away for a few days, its hard. People were not meant to raise a family their own as you well know.
I'll be preying for you on my end, be looking for support on yours, even if you have to change churches its helps :)
I know this reply is late..but encase anyone reads this. I have been a single parent for about 7years now. It's not an easy road. So, I wanted to say a couple things.
1. As far as time alone: since you don't have a lot of help, try to create time for yourself after the kids are in bed. I am not sure how old your kids are. But keep the TV turned off, light a candle and just sit down and have a cup of tea, read your Bible or a good book. I have 4 kids and I know what it's like to have them 24/7. So sometimes you have to create time within your circumstances.
2. As far as an absentee father: remind your kids that God is the Father to the fatherless PS 68:5. I remind my youngest child of that. God is the best father and will always love them, and never leave them.
I'm a single mother too, so I understand your plight. My daughter was having some serious behavioral issues earlier this year. I prayed about it (after the crying myself to sleep part), sought prayer at church and then God opened up doors through the state government. They have a program where they send out a therapist to the house on my schedule and spent 2 hours per week with myself and my daughter working through the issues. It was an 8 week session and after a couple of weeks I started seeing a difference in my daughter.
Apart from that, I have to say that talking to ministers/pastor of your church is very important. We may not realize it, but the Bible is full of references of strong, positive single parents. Our church recently launched its single parents ministry and we had a conference over a period of 2 days. God really spoke there. This post is getting kind of long, so if you're interested, let me know and I'll forward some of my notes to you. You never know, it may give you a little encouragement when you need it.
btw -- what another person said is true...you HAVE to MAKE time for yourself. If my daughter had it her way, I would be with her all day every day. I can't do that. I have to work and clean, cook, drive her around, etc. I need time to myself as well. I wait until she's in bed, then I read, watch a movie, spend some time with God. whatever...but it's my time....ALONE! If you can get a trusted friend at church to help out, ask one of them to babysit for a couple of hours so you can get out of the house. anything will do. =0)
I too am a single father. I have a step daughter that lives in another state. I miss her, but I am rasing her 4 year old sister. I work with kids that have adhd, autism, and violent behaviors and then come home to take care of my daughter and try to remain patient:glow:.
But I admit it is not easy and I could not have made it through what I have been through without my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My exwife has bipolar disorder and went nuts on me and I lost a lot but made it through. I too am sick of being alone but I know that God will place the right person in my path. I just hope soon. lol
