I have heard this saying and I don't know where, but it is a good one, just so hard to do.
I have a 16 year old son and we just spent a wondeful 3wks together this summer, but it just went by way too fast.
My son is a rebelious 16 yr old punk rocker. He believes in Anarchy, no God, he tells me stories about the Apocolyps and how the Illuminati is the Reptilian Race that will rule the world, and total freedom.
This was not how I taught him when he lived with me for the first 13 years of his life. I pray everyday for him. He fears nothing and is stressing me to the max with worry. In my heart I feel he will be something great some day only because he is bright, and sees things from outside the box. The way his mind works is pretty cool. I know God can use him in a great way.
Anyway... while he was here I took him to my church.
It took some work to get him to go because he says he doesn't believe and if I want him to respect my beliefs that I should respect his. I told him fair enough, and he decided to go.
That night my chuch did something new that I have never seen before in this church. I fully believe in healing and speaking in tongues being filled with Holy Spirit and other Gifts of God. This night for the first time since I have been attending... They were speaking in tongues and healing!! He freaked and I feel like it pushed him further away. I understand these things, but he doesn't. In a way I felt a little stab in my heart. I came so far and got him to come with me, but it scared him off. I tried to explain to him, and now he thinks I am half crazy.
I'm not sure if I was able to plant that seed, but it made me think.... why? Of all nights, why all of the sudden my church is filled with the spirit on the the one night he agreed to go?
They haven't done it since.
Maybe it isn't for me to think or ask questions, maybe I should Let go and Let God?
oooooooooooo it is so hard sometimes.
Just a tiny bit frustrated.
Anyone else ever feel like this? This is not a good feeling. Help me deal with it? Any words of wisdom?
Well, as a former youth pastor, I can understand your frustration. Unfortunately, without knowing your son, it's very hard to give you much more then general advice.
Don't worry about him flipping out about the gifts being used that night. In the long run, it won't matter. That stuff freaked me out too when I first saw it.
As far as dealing with his being rebellious... well, you are the parent. you already won. One thing to keep in mind is that you are an adult, and you have had many years to learn about emotions and thier effects on your decisions and reactions to other people. He's not had that. He is just beginning to learn those things. Just keep in mind, you are better equiped, and have the position of authority, to handle any arguments or rebellious actions that might arise.
You'll need to affect a bit of a different stance. On the one hand, you want him to get saved, of course. And on the other hand, you need to curb any destructive behaviors so they don't become part of who he is as an adult. Oddly, those two are difficult to do simultaneously because you will fear that if you are too hard-on him he wont think you love him and he might loose respect and such for you, and in your faith.
Don't worry about that. Rebellious children actualy respect STRENGTH. They have nothing but contempt for people who they can walk over. You do him no favors when you let him mistreat or not listen to you.
I have 5 kids. The oldest is 14. They are all VERY well behaved. But I began at a very young age to build certain character in them, and it worked well.
Unfortunately, you find yourself in the mid stream of his life right now. You'll need to learn to swim in a hurry.
Be strong. Don't raise your voice. Remember, the quieter you talk, the harder people have to listen to hear you. Don't argue with him. Don't let him argue with you. Send him to his room. Take away the things he likes.
Send me a message if you need help. I could go on for hours on this.
I know it is difficult for someone who hasn't experienced the gifts of the spirit (especially a confused teenager) to understand what was going on that night, but you have to trust that God had a reason for the manifestation of the Spirit on that particular night.
You have been trying to plant a seed in your son's heart, and God may have been taking the opportunity to water that seed with His Spirit. Sometimes when a heavy rain comes, it can be overwhelming, but once the rain sinks in, it brings life to the seed below.
God said that His Word would go out and it would NOT return to Him void. Trust God to bring forth fruit from the seed you have planted in your son's heart. I'll be praying for you!
Tristan...."Remember, the quieter you talk, the harder people have to listen to hear you. " I love that! It is a very good, simple piece of advice, which I am sure, is very effective. I will remember that. I try to remember back to when I was a kid, I wasn't so rebellious (mainly because I was scared of my parents) lol so it is hard for me to relate.
Godlymom..."You have been trying to plant a seed in your son's heart, and God may have been taking the opportunity to water that seed with His Spirit. Sometimes when a heavy rain comes, it can be overwhelming, but once the rain sinks in, it brings life to the seed below." Pretty cool perspective, it makes sense.
k.ayn .. HUGZ! You girl! LOL Frustrating in deed.
It is hard because he is living in one household that doesn't go to church and they let him do whatever he wants. When he comes home for the summer, it is a whole different world to him. I know he loves me though... he tells me all the time. :) So that makes being patient worth the wait.
Thank you all, great advice here. I do appreciate it! Feeling better (stronger) already.
You are right to trust God in this matter. Your son may be put off from the display of the gifts, but I suspect it will stir a curiosity in him. I'm reminded of a verse in Proverbs.
Proverbs 22:6 (King James Version)
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
When I was young, I was confused by the experience of people speaking in tongues, but later in life I was drawn by the familiarity. It was like coming home.
Well, My oldest son, Joseph, is 14 now. I have to be very careful what I do around him because he wants to emultate everything I do, I play guitar, he has to play guitar, i like this band, he likes it. He looks at me as his hero which is very.... different then what you're dealing with. He wears my clothes and my jewelry, my cologne, it's got to drive his mom batty cause he even has my sense of humor so he must remind her of me 24/7. He's facnated by who I was when I was a teenager and is always asking me things about what I did back then and whatnot. (I wasnt a christian until i turned 17, so i have to be careful what I tell him)
He also loves to get on his face and pray with me, and asks me to teach him things out of the bible. Now if he were to rebell, it wont be against me, it will be against his mom, and he is already starting to do so. I am already dealing with her telling me he doesnt respect her, so she and I talk about it, and oddly, what she describes is him acting like me. She always wanted me to be a puppy dog and I am more like a wolf, I bite. She wants absolute unquestioning obedience from him ALL the time, and when he describes situations he gets into with her, it's her basically doing the same thing she did with me when we were married.
She will demand that he do something, she recently made him cut his hair REALLY short, he was trying to grow it long, like mine was, when I was his age. This really upset him. He tried to explain to her that he didnt want his hair cut, but her response was *I'm your mother, you are talking back to me* when all he was trying to do was reason with her and give her his opinion about HIS hair.
As kids get older, they come into a sort of, lets call it, self realization. The become more aware of who they are, and thier feelings, and much more conscious of how others view them. (remember when your son was a little kid and would do the silliest things, and he wouldn't be caught dead doing stuff like that anymore?)
My point is, after having said all that, the influence we have on our children can be VERY unmistakable and obvious, as how joseph emulates me, but more often then not, only the test of time will tell how you have affected him. Be patient. God has been dealing with parents and children for a VERY long time. He knows what he is doing, and he is in control.
Hey, I have recently been through the same type of situation myself. My daughter is 13 and she has now been let down by 2 earthly father. The counselors says since she was let down by 2 earthly fathers, she can't see even the heavenly Father as real. The 1st of which was her biological father which I should not have married because we were not equally yoked. He would not go to church with me and he was an abusive alcoholic. Like yourself, I believed in all the gifts and speaking in tongues and I was raised once you're married, you stay that way no matter what the cost. But after 19 years, it nearly killed me and I finally realized this could not possibly God's plan for me so I left. He would not pay child support. After about 1 1/2 years, I thought I had met a wonderful man who she called Daddy at 3 years old and we were married just short of 10 years when he was caught using our credit card to cheat in motels with women on facebook. Another early father let her down. She has been hospitalized for depression and after coming out of the hosptial, said she didn't believe in God anymore. It broke my heart. Everyday I pray for her and my church family prays for her. Just continue to pray for him and I will also. We want our children in Heaven with us. The only thing we can do is live the walk as best we can in front of them and hope they see Jesus in us and continue to pray fervently.
I can understand your frustration Lisamichelle,since he's a teenager
now it's not easy to teach him about the ways of the Lord. Especially
he's exposed already to this chaotic world.But it's not too late show him how God loves him and will forgive him if he will ask him sincerely.While you're praying for your son, lay your hands upon his head & ask the power of the Holy Spirit to empower him with wisdom that comes from God.
Be patient with your son,as God is with us.Show him that God is alive through your deeds,it's not too late to plant a good seed to him, just do it diligently.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son,for in that there is hope; do
not be a willing party to his death.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, & when he
That saying is wonderful....I agree with you but it is so hard or we give it to th eLord for a minute and take it back.
My christian counselor/mentor I speak with weekly tells me to quite doing and just be...that's another one.
In both these areas I do not know how. I know mind wise I guess but not heart wise.
I am sorry to go off the subject but something I have been struggling with is my self-esteem/weight/self in general.
I want someone to love me "just as I am"...wow I have just been hit with a 4x4....Christ Jesus loves me the way I long for a man to...I have been searching for this person and it has been Christ the whole time. Wow. I get that! Thank you Father!
Please pray for me...I have strongholds and fears about weight loss...fearful of attention from men--more situations where I will be tempted--do not want to be loved for my looks but this big heart God gave me--pray for the removal of layers, strongholds, walls and fears that keep me from taking care of God temple, my body.
Hi Tiffany! Just want to encourage you about your self-esteem;
PROVERBS 31:30 Charm is deceptive,& beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
So as a child of God ; you are to be praised.Regardless of how we look physically, it is your heart that matters most to God.
But if you really want to lose some weight for health reason then you must do it diligently.Since our body is the temple of Holy Spirit, we really need to take care of it.
How? Just like disciplining your children, we must discipline ourselves first. PROVERBS 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.
I'm saying this my dear sis-in -Christ out of my love to my fellow christians.So please don't be offended ok, I will include you & your children in my prayers.
