Author	Thread: adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life
singlemom2 View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 25 Mar, 2009 10:35 PM My oldest is almost 7 he has asked why his father is not in the picture but the truth is very hard to talk about and i dont know what to tell him i had something bad happen to me but i did not believe in abortion and i would not give him up for anything or anyone anyone have any advice thanks Post Reply
View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 26 Mar, 2009 09:12 AM Hi.my daughters father is also not her life.she is nearly 4 and ive just had to be honest with her and tell her that daddy knows where she lives and and if he wanted to come and see her he would.she didnt like or understand this at first but i keep telling her that even though he is not in her life she has a mummy that loves her lots and she has grandads and uncles who play just as important a role in her life as her dad would.Ive just been honest and said that mummy and daddy dont like each other and thats why we dont talk but i make sure i never say anything bad about him in front of her.Maybe one day if she chooses she can ask him all the questions when shes older and can deal with whatever answers he gives.the key is i think is not to lie but give them an honest answer that they can deal with for their age. hope this helps God bless susanna Post Reply
singlemom2 View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 26 Mar, 2009 10:11 AM thank you it does God bless shawna Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 27 Mar, 2009 12:34 PM I've been tapping my feet for three days, waiting for my time in the "box" to be up so I could comment on this. Lol Please, please, please, seek the advice of a counselor on this one. Kids are SO impressionable and you don't want to take the risk of damaging your child's self esteem by saying the wrong thing or phrasing it in the wrong manner. This is a BIG one - I've read that a persons view of God is often directely in correlation of the view they have of their earthly father. I don't know what your financial situation is, but even calling social services in your area or talking to your pastor for a recommendation on a counselor would be a good start. Really, sister - don't do this one alone. God bless you and I'll keep this in my prayers! Lynn Post Reply
View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 27 Mar, 2009 07:01 PM Sister, I have raised several step children over the years, and I have to say this is something that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I had wonderful relationships with these children, and they all still call me Dad, but the fact that their biological Father chose to reject them still lingers. These were lucky, they had a Father who loved them, even if I was just a step Father. It has caused deep hatred in many, and distrust in others. I do some Christian counseling, but this is outside my area of training. If you would like to seek some counseling advice from a Christian counselor, let me know and I will tell you where to find a some. But, whatever you do, don't lie to the child. Tell them you will explain when you have more time, and seek professional help right away. Love and grace, Leon Post Reply
singlemom2 View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 1 Apr, 2009 10:26 PM i want to thank you all i have found a great church and i am talking to one of the counselors there and the best advice is to wait for the lords timing i don't think he is ready yet so i will wait till i feel like its Gods timing. Post Reply
View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 23 Jun, 2009 08:36 PM I was one of them children that wasn't told until I was in my early 20's that my Dad wasn't my biological father. I had questions growing up, but was told lies or nothing at all. I'm guessing you can imagine where the trust level I had for my mother went after the truth came out? Being that I lived it, I would say be honest with your children from the start. If they can ask, they want to know, so sit down and tell them according to how much they are able to understand. (depending on their age) You never have to go into details. Post Reply
View Profile History	adivice on how to let my kids know why there fqather is not in there life Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 01:56 PM I agree do not lie to your children but there are SOMETHINGS they do not need to know. If they were conceived in violence it is best to leave that art out. If at all possible at least until they are out of childhood. I know my ex husband did things that were not so good but I NEVER told either of our children what he did or why was not in our lives. and until I was told but a therapist I never said a bad word to them about thier father. To this day I do my best to be as nice as possible about him and his choices in life. He loves them and they need to know that even if he cant show them Post Reply