hello i am roseann from philippines i am a single mother for almost 6 years i have two kids we broke up the father of my kids when my elder child is only 2 and i am 3 months pregnant of my second baby i decide to leave him because he has a attitude that i never wanted he is a gambler a drinker and he hurts me.So when the times i cant take anymore i leave him.But we still have communications because of our childs but most of the time we got quarrel so many times when i give birth in my second baby he is there by my side .When my baby is almost a month i met my childhood crush we meet many times and decided to live -in (other man ) i leave my two kids in my grandmother we live in far away .At first we live happy he is kind and sweet he gave me everything but when we moved a house i get my kids to his father so many times having a problems i cried so many times.After we moved a house we having a difficult times we always having a quarrel we shouting each other,many people knowing that we have cruel quarrel he is rarely drinks when he got drunk he do what the crazy man does leading to misunderstanding currently i am living with him with my kids for 5 years and i want to get out in this relationship there is so many times i want to leave but i dont know how and i dont know where i start please give me advice
anyway i give myself a limits ..that hoping when 2013 comes i am giving a chance myself to be happy looking forward and tried to move on please help me guys thanks
Dear RoseAnn, though your story seem partly clear and partly some unclear, but within the limit of my understanding I reasoned through. First here is my take; I see so far, you had gravitated between two men. Going into relationship with another man to make you happy may be a Rash Dash! By "Rash Dash" I mean, it may end up for you a monstrosity. It may make the present ripples, uglier than so far it had been. So that being said, I think you should look at the angles playing between these two men. Also, you never indicated if there was a child between you and your "childhood crush" during all these time. Well since you didn�t out rightly supplied that information, I will assume there was no child between you.
For the first man, you never indicated if it was a separation or a divorce. Cos if it were so, it would be assumed you were still married to him, who is the father of your two children and you "left" him (for reasons you already explained) and began an affair with the other man.
Consider your kids. They are young. But they had been led in the path of these unhealthy decisions and had also had to face these hurtful results from it. For their sakes, for the reason that no single child ought to suffer the pang and pain of crimes they never committed. I appeal to you to reconsider opening more chapters. First hit the ground, bury your knees deep in prayer and ask God for forgiveness. For he is just and righteous to forgive.
Then take a decision to work things out with the father of your children. At least, from your statement, you said he was there at your side during the birth of your younger child. That foretells to me that, he may not be that much of a monster as many wont believe. He still have some bit of humanity in him, that you can bank on, aside a gambler, drinker and one who hurts you, he is. Except completely, you see a breakdown of resolutions in him and you know it�s eternally irreconcilable, then you may reconsider.
And in that case of the other man, I guess you have seen it�s not a bed of roses. At first, he appeared your solution but not long after your voyage, like Paul described in Act 27, there arose a tempestuous wind that came against your relationship with him. Now I believe that you know better. Rushing back to him is again not the answer.
Right now you have choices to make. A choice is making up your mind between these two adult men or even none of them. Second choice and which is heavily hanging on you is the welfare of your children. Weigh your options well. Your children welfare should matter hugely to you in your decision making.
I feel you should bow down to God in prayer and ask him to help you for a full resolve and turn your mistakes around into miracles.
When we humans take further steps and each steps keep giving back to us backlashes and backfires, then it�s a clarion call for us human being to stop and redirect to God our paths.
I got pregnant when i was 17 in my first baby and the father dont know anything that i give birth to his daughter.My father and mygrandmother is the only one stay by my side.They take care of my first baby but still the father dont have idea that he is the father i never told him because he is IRRESPONSABLE at that moment he is not ready.But when the time comes "NO SECRET THAT NEVER REVEAL" he found out that he is a father so we see each other and decide to live together with my first baby but we having an argue always because he always going home late but no work he came in a gambling ,he drunk that leading hurting me shouting at me ..and getting worst..by november i work he steal the money that i used to work for.And i get mad so in the month of December 2005 i decide to leave him i bring my kid (which is the first baby) and after a month i found out i got pregnant i tell him but he never believe me he accused me that i am cheating him (but difinetely im not) so while i bring my 2nd baby in my womb i always cry because he never believe me and he never support me..but when the time comes until i giving birth to my 2nd baby he came but still he not paid the midwife my FAther takes the responsbilities again.
The father of my baby wants to reconcile but its too late he hurt me so many times and the feeling is gone so i never communicate him until he decide to go abroad.I told him that we can still be friends but he is not favor fort hat .
Let's talk about the 2nd man ..we rent a house we love each other for several years but when we decide to move another house we having a argue always and a lot of problems he also as drinker and he hurt me also and i found out i want to get out in this relationship i always cry everynight i want to leave him but i have no choice because he is the only hope to support me so even if that it's too hard to me i still stayed just to live but the feeling is gone
I got pregnant when i was 17 in my first baby and the father dont know anything that i give birth to his daughter.My father and mygrandmother is the only one stay by my side.They take care of my first baby but still the father dont have idea that he is the father i never told him because he is IRRESPONSABLE at that moment he is not ready.But when the time comes "NO SECRET THAT NEVER REVEAL" he found out that he is a father so we see each other and decide to live together with my first baby but we having an argue always because he always going home late but no work he came in a gambling ,he drunk that leading hurting me shouting at me ..and getting worst..by november i work he steal the money that i used to work for.And i get mad so in the month of December 2005 i decide to leave him i bring my kid (which is the first baby) and after a month i found out i got pregnant i tell him but he never believe me he accused me that i am cheating him (but difinetely im not) so while i bring my 2nd baby in my womb i always cry because he never believe me and he never support me..but when the time comes until i giving birth to my 2nd baby he came but still he not paid the midwife my FAther takes the responsbilities again.
The father of my baby wants to reconcile but its too late he hurt me so many times and the feeling is gone so i never communicate him until he decide to go abroad.I told him that we can still be friends but he is not favor fort hat .
Let's talk about the 2nd man ..we rent a house we love each other for several years but when we decide to move another house we having a argue always and a lot of problems he also as drinker and he hurt me also and i found out i want to get out in this relationship i always cry everynight i want to leave him but i have no choice because he is the only hope to support me so even if that it's too hard to me i still stayed just to live but the feeling is gone
I read your response and I got a better understanding of your position. Again, sorry this happened to you and those babies.
Now its good we understood that you were no married to the two either by church or court/registry. However, as it may be, my candid advice to you is that you must not be in a hurry to be in another relationship for now. First concentrate on how you are going to find happiness and resolve to clean of the floor of the previous mess created.
Secondly,it will not be the interest of yourself or your children to be dependent on a man. You shouldn't be. It limits your options at getting happiness and buying freedom. I think what is appropriate for you to do now is find a job you can do, no matter how menial. Find something that can support you. Then think deep if you really want to stay with your "childhood crush"...But from the tone of your message, you said the "love is gone". So if the love is gone, and you are not legally married to him, i think you must have some courage and nerve to get up and move on. Not into another man's arm, but move into your own privacy and take time to re-plan. I am sure for now, you made me see you had a father who is kind to you and many thanks for that. Maybe a return to him again this time until you can find your feet will be of help.
Certainly its note worthy you need some time alone now. Also a job. Plan and Pray. it will be well with you.
hi i wish you could visit in our church here someday here in philippines we are a born again christian :-) i really appreaciate of what advice you gave to me :-) god bless
Thanks my dear sister. Maybe its coincidence or sheer plan of God. I was nearly there in early 200. But had to cancel at the last minute. I was scheduled to be at Sta Rosa, Laguna. It was a thing to do with an Intel project. But it didnt push through successfully. And a good thing is over the years, I developed strong bond of friendship with a lot of Pinoy/Pinays. And till now I am still friends with most of them. Its a lovable country and Tagalog for me was sweet back then. But now after several years of being unused, I can hardly make a line again. However I read text and books by myself.
Its my pleasure to be of services to you my sister. My warm wishes for you and your little God given gifts!
