Author	Thread: Kids Meeting the New Person?
JourneyCC View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 14 Sep, 2011 10:08 AM Hi Everyone :glow: I'm curious about your introducing the new person experiences. The good, the bad, the ugly! When? Where? I am very protective of my kids and have not let them meet anyone that I've dated since separating from their dad. I am protective of their overall well-being in the long run and do not want to expose them to anyone unless I'm seriously contemplating marrying someone. What has worked for you? Not worked for you? Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 17 Sep, 2011 08:24 PM I have no personal experience with this but have thought about this same situation. I also work in the mental health field and also know that many children have been damaged by this exact situation. Often it is the new boyfriend/girlfriend that is abusive. More children suffer from "shaken baby syndrome" from males that are not blood related to the child. That is not to say that biological parents can't hurt a child but statistics say it is usually others. I have taken care of so many men and women (as a mental health care provider) that have told stories about how mom had so many boyfriends in and out of the house and how devastating it was to them. Not always that they were abused (but that was often). Many kids are starved for the company of a father (or mother if it is a single dad) figure, mom gets a great boyfriend, he bonds with the kids and then she/they decide it is not working and then another parent figure it yanked away from the kids. This can be devastating to kids. Children can bond quite strongly to an adult and they suffer a great loss that is often overlooked. I have yet to have a man in my life that I will worry about but I really feel that parents should think with their head and not their heart in this instance and wait a long time before children are added to the mix. Ruralnurse Post Reply
Bridgit View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 6 Oct, 2011 03:56 PM I have done the same and believe it is the right thing to do. No need to introduce them unless the relationship is serious and will lead to marriage. Blessings, Bridgit Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 7 Oct, 2011 02:43 PM I'd echo ruralnurse's comments. Years ago I met up with someone from another Christian dating site. After a few meets, she introduced me to her young son (about 11 at the time) - we hit it off immediately but things didn't work out with his mum. I wasn't too sorry to forget her, but it was much harder emotionally to break up the bond we had formed. Sometimes I still think of him and wonder who or if he ever had a father-figure as he went through the early teen years, but as a friend quipped, you can't save them all... Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 01:57 AM Kudos on a heart felt response. I was one of those kids who had to deal with numerous creepy boyfriends coming in and out of our lives. That has made me leery of subjecting my son to anyone at an early stage of a romantic relationship. On the positive side, a male friend around can be a great role model. Especially, if the biological father makes harmful choices. I know my step-dad proved to me that not all men are violent and angry. The song, "Why can't we be friends?" comes to mind. If you can start out slow with friendship, whether a spark happens between you or not, you can gain a friend. And, who couldn't use another friend in their lives? Post Reply
MRSBRADY View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 5 Dec, 2011 03:10 PM I know that letting the kids meet everyone you date is a bad idea and just plain scary but on the flip side if you date someone and you are thinking about marriage and then they meet the kids and they dont click what happens then? I know everyone raises their kids differently so this guy or gal is now in a position to be their future step dad or mom and they have not gotten to know each other that not the best idea either. There has to be a time between just meeting and the wedding day where you all hang out and see if the future mate and the kids get along I dont mean leave them alone together but they have to have a connection too or it wont be a family. I think there are too many people in relationships where the step parent only tolerates the kids because they have to. Post Reply
AmyE1375 View Profile History	Kids Meeting the New Person? Posted : 14 Feb, 2012 08:53 PM I plan on doing just as you have stated. My ex, on the other hand, has brought a woman into my boys' lives and it really concerns me that he thinks that it is ok to do that so soon with boys that are so young. Post Reply