Author	Thread: Don't call her mom....I'm your mom.
Admin	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 17 Jul, 2009 06:30 PM Hi guys. My son was talking about his father's live in girlfriend, perhaps fiance as well, and he referred to her as mom. well of course, i said, "excuse me! what did you call her?" he said that his father said that it was rude of him to keep calling her by her name that it was time for him to start calling her mom. my son said that he doesn't like calling her mom, but since dad said it was rude, and wants him to call her mom, that's the only reason why he's doing it. was i wrong for telling my son the following: your father is wrong in making you calling her mom. she is not your mom. i'm your mom. she didn't raise you. even if i were to die today, she is still not your mom. your father doesn't call his stepfather dad. right? he calls him by his name. and your uncles does the same. they call him by his name. why? because he didn't raise them. there were teenagers when he married their mother. and you are 12 yrs old and you have me and your dad raising you. why not tell your dad how you feel? ask him why he and your uncle do not call their stepfather dad or i can talk to your dad about it for you. he didn't respond. so, i said that he is not obligated to call a complete stranger mom. what do you guys think about this? God Bless, Zoe Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 17 Jul, 2009 06:36 PM dear zoe, im with you as she aint even his stepmom yet.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 04:33 AM first I say if he doe snot wnat to call her mom he should not.. I did not meet my father until I was 14 and I call him and his wife by thier first names to this day. I call my step father by his first name and I think of him as more of a father than my own father. he raised me for the most part. I don't think you son should bring up to his father that he calls his step parent by his name. that may come off as looking for a fight and I would not want your son to get yelled at by his father or for his father to say do as I say not as I do. I think you should calmly talk to your ex and his GF and let them know your son is not confortable with calling her mom and maybe all of you can come up with something other than her first name.. good luck GBU Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 10:58 AM I totally agree with Ladyizshy. This isn't something your 12 year old should have to handle. I think you need to speak to your X personally and tell him your son doesn't feel comfortable calling her mom, nor should he, considering they aren't even married yet (and even at that point, it is still your sons decision what to call her). Just remember that no matter what, your influence and love can never be taken away or "trumped" by someone else in your X's life. You are, and will always be, mom to this boy. That won't change. Blessings, Lynn Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 03:52 PM nah. it's just not that easy. we are adults and we have a much deeper thought pattern, kids are just babies, trying to deal with the reality of this stupid world. unfortunately, we can't shelter them. And listen, being possesive about it is't going to help. mommy is just a word, so is daddy. it's what you do, how you treat them, that matters over time. believe me, it hurts right now, but they will forget the girl freind or boy freind, you'll stick in thier mind. forever. you ARE thier mom. Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 04:51 PM thank you shy, lynn and tristan. you guys give good advice. i appreciate all the suggestions/help i can get. May the Lord continue to bless you in every aspect of your lives. God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
ayngrady View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 20 Jul, 2009 07:10 PM this is a sticky situation. hard to deal with I know. thank God my x didnt do it? my dtr calls her by her first name. talk to him for your son. Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 20 Jul, 2009 09:10 PM I have been in your position and know how you are feeling. My ex has yet another g/f and for now my children are calling her by her name. But my daughter, who is 4, gets very attached to people very easily. I know what a good mother I am to my children and know how they are with them. Yes it does bother me but I still let them make the decision on what to call my ex's g/f. As long as it stays my children's decision I am okay with it because deep down I know I am the one that is always there for them and doing things with them and supporting them no matter what. And those are the things that count. I hope this helps GBU Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 21 Jul, 2009 09:25 AM dear bright ,,, welcome to the forums. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 08:58 AM Thank you ole cattle. its good to be here. Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 25 Jul, 2009 08:46 PM She is not and never will be his mom. He can call her by her firs name, My dad's lover, Miss._____ or whatever. You have been given the ringt to be mom. Ask Dad if he'd mind if your boyfriend was called dad. Post Reply

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