Author	Thread: So Many Single Mothers?
Admin	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 1 Oct, 2007 07:13 PM Hello all. I want it to be known that this post is in no way an attempt to judge anyone or put anyone down, it is purely a question i often ask myself and would love to know an answer to. I have noticed A lot of single Christian mothers on this website, and was wondering why this is. A little about me, I believe that the bible teaches/encourages us to stay clear of "S" before marriage, and with this in mind am confused when there are so many single (not talking about divorced) young 'Christians' who also retain the title of 'single mother'. That's all i wanted to ask, if you feel it is too personal to answer, then i respect that and your choice to move on to another topic, however if you would like to share your thoughts and or story, it would be really appreciated. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 1 Oct, 2007 09:26 PM I am a single mother although I obtained that illustrious title through divorce, but to answer your question, being a christian does not exclude you from making mistakes nor does it keep you from sinning. We are all sinners, and will always be sinners, and although we need to fall forward and not backwards, we still will fall, but that is why we repent and ask for forgiveness. Alot of single mothers become christians after their children are born because they want to give them different lives than they had, and some of them were christians before and just had a lapse of judgement, even Jesus was tempted in the desert, but temptation in and of itself is not a sin, only the opportunity to sin, some of us are looking for love so desperately we are ready to believe the first person to come along and claim to love us, and that is where alot of good girls fall. I to do not believe in the "s" word before marriage and tell my girls that frequently and i also lead by example as I am celibate too. I just encourage you not to judge these young mothers as you do not know their stories, and it is not for us to judge, only for God. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 1 Oct, 2007 10:55 PM Thankyou for your reply Wendy, I totally understand and agree with what you said, and respect the fact that there are many reasons behind this. I guess my question comes from talking to many 'Christian's' who have no interest in any form of relationship that does not involve "s" and at the same account, have seen friends and acquaintances who are Christian, make a mistake, fall pregnant and become a single mother (knowing we all sin, I don't look at them any differently) however sometimes see this happen, then happen again with the same person, and it is that that gets me wondering why. I mean, i don't need to know.. its just something of interest, hearing from others who are in this position.. allowing me to have a fair understanding i guess. And 100% correct, we are not to judge, that is God's to own (Judgment). Again thankyou for taking the time to reply. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 2 Oct, 2007 08:12 PM I know that I personally wasn't a christian when I became a single mother. I plan on waiting until marriage now, 100%. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 23 Oct, 2007 09:24 AM I am a single mother who was a christian when I became pregnant. I was in a common law marriage money wasn't enough to even get married at city hall. Common law marriage now a days is viewed as married legally so to me being the naive woman I was assumed it to the same. But after I had gotten pregnant and excited to start a marriage with my "husband" he became violent and I instantly was going to leave. That is when I found out it's not the same, in my case it saved me trouble and my life. I am sure every case is different of why a woman becomes a single mother as a christian but in my case it was lack of knowledge. That and I refused to be married to a man who would harm me and my child inside me knowing all this and not caring. Post Reply
PeachPuff View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 7 Apr, 2008 11:29 AM There are alot of single mothers in this world..most of them become single not by their choice. It's usually the person who we marry or hook up with that turns to be the one that is not equally yoked with the mother. I became divorced by the choice of my son's father. He couldn't wait to get divorced from me because he was already sleeping around with the future Wife #2. His daughter is 3 months older than our son.The ironic twist to all of this is that we as mothers get the best part of the relationship. We get our kids and if we raise them the right way, they become great men and women. Hopefully, they won't make the same mistake by cheating and are liars to the spouse that they so committed themselves in front of God and all their friends and relatives. Hopefully, the kids of Single Mothers especially will learn that it is not easy to be raised by only one parent..that a child needs both parents there...in their lives helping raise them and helping them become good people. It takes maturity and commitment to stay in a marriage and work things out so that there would be single mothers out there. Also, we have to spruce up our morals and standards so that women do not just lay down with anyone...Women of future generations have to learn to say "NO" to the person wanting to have intimate relations. Also, there is protection out there...so ladies...you can't keep a man by getting pregnant. Think before you do anything physically with a man.Get your education, get a career...and if you so choose later that you still want to be a mother..make sure you are able to provide financially for the child..and not have the government provide for you!!! Have some dignity and respect yourself ladies..You deserve it! God Bless You All! Post Reply
draczjou View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 13 Apr, 2008 09:42 AM I am a product of a single (ableit not Christian) mother through divorce. My father ran out on my mom and her two sons...well on my mom and her youngest son. He tried to get custody of me during the divorce...and in all honesty, yes he is my earthly father; but I'm glad I was raised by my mom. It taught me a lot of things. I know that when I have children..even if their mother and I don't end up staying together (which I pray wouldn't be the case because I've taken a renewed vow of celibacy and won't have children until I'm married) I will be a part of those children's lives. I admit, it is hard growing up without a father. But my mom did everything she could to make sure my brother and I grew up right. I remember there was a time when she was working two jobs just to make sure she could make ends meet. I know now that there are government programs that she could have enrolled in...especially since my father was in the Army and once he got out the child support stopped coming. But she chose to work hard to give her children the best life she possibly could. And you know what...my brother and I are better for it. Right now my brother is sitting in Korea and his newly wed wife is getting ready to move back to Colorado to be with family while he's stationed there...then they are going off to England after they renew their vows here so both of their families can attend the wedding. (Short story: the military wouldn't let him take her to England with him unless they were legally man and wife) But, yeah...there are a lot of factors to women who are single Christain mothers, and quite frankly they have both the best and hardest job in the world (in my humble opinion). All the single mothers out there get to do something I look forward to doing myself one day: raise children of God that He has blessed them with! :yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 1 Jul, 2008 04:41 PM I appreciate the comments made here. We single moms really do ultimately receive the best in the relationships we enjoy with our children. PeachPuff: Something you brought up really stands out to me. I am going to start a new thread so I don't derail this one. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 12 Jul, 2008 10:35 AM As a single mother I have to find fault with a couple things said in this thread. First off, I called myself a "christian" but thought nothing wrong with having sex before marriage (part of that was caused by having been raped by my first boyfriend). I ended up at the age of 21 I was raped again and that time I ended up getting pregnant. At the time I thought my only option was abortion, I couldn't imagine life with a child or the idea of going through labor and then giving the child up. Somehow though I made the decision to keep the baby and even though I went through h*ll literally to have my son and to stay alive when I was literally dying after having him, I know I made the right decision. I am still having a hard time, I have a son with a lot of health problems but would not trade for all the healthy kids in the world. I also had a problem with the person that seemed to look down on moms that are living on government help. As a single mom that is currently living with family while I go to school so I can get a better job then just working at Walmart I see nothing wrong with accepting government help. That is what it is there for! My son is on medicaid, I am on medicaid, I receive food stamps to help buy my son his food. I receive WIC help because my son is on a very expensive formula that I can't afford. My son and I receive a lot of government help and even though it isn't enough I can't complain because at least we do get some. So until you are a single parent and struggling everyday on how you are going to feed your child, or yourself, you can't possibly understand what it is like, nor can you look down your nose at a single parent. As far as being a Christian single mom, I am one now. I recently made the decision to become a better Christian and to wait to have sex until I get married again. I honestly don't know if that is what God has in store for me but I would rather live my life as a single mom then be unhappily married to a non-Christian man. That's just this mom's opinion though! Post Reply
JustlookinglikeU View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 13 Jul, 2008 01:46 AM Ok, I sure as all get out hope that men read this post: (!!) Look, the reason there are so many single women out there, even Christian women???? It is NOT just you who is asking, but a common thought that naturally goes through minds..... The answer is simple, it si because men drop seed, women carry it!! Its that simple. No, you will now sway me, so hear me out. No matter the faith, no matter the morals, no matter the situation....women carry a living breathing life, gifted by God within themselves for 9 months. Make no mistake about it, I am one of those men who is truely jelous of women s gift. (yeah, we could joke about the pain and stuggles that come with, but I am talking about the unique experience and blessing of it). Men only participate, share, and hopefully empathies and cherish the mother....but lets face it. Hold up the time commitment, one night vs 9 months? So why be so surprised that the ration of single mothers keeping the kids and being proud of it is so much higher??? Secondly, and just as obvious, men AND women who lack the morals (yes, just hear me out) that we attribute to "Christian" will make differnet choices concerning marriage, and if not married, concerning abortion! So you could be living life "without" God and just abondon the responsibility (of staying in a marriage and being responsible or staying a parent at all in supporting an abortion). So the fact women, who carry the child and have there life change (in and out of marriage) often are given Gods wisdom to CHANGE FOCUS BACK TO GOD. ****There ARE EQUAL NUMBER OF SINGLE MEN TO EVERY SINGLE MOM---THEY JUST HIDE IT!!---BUT IT IS BIOLOGICAL FACT!!!******* I will throw this out there: I ran and grabbed my wife vs letting God bring me my wife. Mistakes were made. She had a child from a previous marriage. I met him (the first son of my heart) at 16 months and was his papa till his 6th birthday. I would have legally adopted him if his father had been completely gone, but my point is that few men look at loving a child outside of marriage as seriously as I took loving a boy not even my own inside our marriage. ....does that even make sense? Its late. My point is men can leave the seed and move on. Women usually take at least one year of their lives looking the choice directly in the face every day during that year...before they have a chance to leave! I dont know if I have the heart to love anohter step son again, because in heaven I will see mine again, but I hope you single women find a man who can learn what I learned. That loving a step son, a boy you dont legally have any right to love, can be the most invigorating kind of love you can imagine. I heard and still hear from EVERYONE "Well Jason, you know he was never yours..." Well, to anyone questioning single moms, that a "step" will never really have that special bond the biological father had so why did you end up a single mom in the first place crapolo.....I say, you are talking to someone who will NEVER get to know the special bond that only a step dad can make. See in my divorce, I learned thats what love is. I am Gods step son. (see Puals teachings) I am the product of a prodigal (spiritual) relationship. (we all have fallen short) I am the step son and my adopted Dad loves me in a special way than His own son, Jesus Christ....(see Jesus who said we Gentiles would be grafted in, among many) ...God didnt have to love me like a son.....He chose to love me because Christ loved me. (like I loved my step son because for a short time my ex had loved me). My new wife, someday, will understand that I did not love a "first" wife or a "different" son before her....(i.e. like this post which points out single moms who are turned back or have kept on towards God despite the past) ...I will teach her how I have been taught by God through adversity how precious love really is. No one considers me a single Dad, in fact my ex started a family with her affair guy, and ran off and told my step son I left them. I have not seen him since. Thats why everyone says "Your not a dad, he wasn't yours." If God loves me, a step child, then I will go to my grave awaiting the day the first son of my heart will stand next to me in Gods presence.....both adopted, yet loved children...in my heart I am am a single Dad. Post Reply
View Profile History	So Many Single Mothers? Posted : 16 Jul, 2008 12:45 AM I'm a single mother because my ex also thought the grass was greener on the other side. He cheated on me and wanted a divorce because he "loved" the other woman. He was a Christian and by no means did we ever have an easy relationship but I know one thing, if God is not the foundation of your relationship, your home will come crashing down. Post Reply

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