Mr/Mrs Right and Mr/Mrs Perfect

Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 11:46 AM

Hi, Not sure where to post this, but I thought I share another blog. God bless.



We all have different ideas what men and women want in a potential spouse. Men seem to focus more on the physical shape of women. While women seem to look at the personality. Some believe in having everything on a list. If someone has a, b, and c its good, but if one is missing c its no good.

Picture a man with roses coming up to a door to pick up a special young lady. He is wearing a nice three piece suit. When he knocks on the door a beautiful woman opens the doors in a nice dress. Then the gentlemen sweeps her off her feet and they go in a horse and carriages to the country side. The couple have dinner by candle light under the moon light. This is a short story where I am showing that man desires to romance a lady, and she desires to be loved by a gentleman. He had all the qualities he wanted and she did as well. But does it mean they are perfect for each other? Sometimes we get perfect mixed up with right. We can see perfect as having many things in common, personality, or looks.

In having things in common there are pros and cons. Some pros of course is career or call. Its good for both the man and woman to have the same call in this area so they can have the same direction. For instance its not good for one to have a call to missions while the other does not. Also in whether they want children. A few cons are being the same in every way. Some seems to think that the right one is like, That they have the like all the same things. Such as sports, music, and art. Another con is having the same abilities. In looking at abilities there needs to be a balance. Such as one who is organized while the other is good with finances. The one who is good with finances may not be good at organizing them. The other spouse can help in putting the finances in order.

Sometimes in common interest we try to manufacture common interests. In making common interests by liking things that the other likes to try to impress someone by liking the same foods, music, or sports. This can be deceitful. We should be honest about what we truly like. Spouses don't have to like the same things all the times. God made us different. We are unique in His sight. Its more import for us to have the same beliefs than to be dextrally the same. I would not want someone just like me. I don't think it would be balance between our strengths and weaknesses.

Personality is often gets mixed up with character. Women generally look for personality. Here are some personality traits I seen over the years. One is the rebel. He is the one who lives on the edge and tends to break or bend the rules. Another one is the clown. This is the one that goofs off and has a tendency to play practical jokes on people. Also there is the Latin lover. He is charming and makes romantic statements. And there s the artist that sings or plays a musical instrument. Most men and women fall into these categories. But, sometimes we get these placed into character. He a may be bad but he has a good character. He has integrity. How do we measure character? sometimes we can fall in love with the personality. and fail to see moral character of the person. There are times when love clouds are judgment. We only see the good aspects of the person, and the negatives are discarded.

The external looks are ahead of the heart. Men usually go for the physical appearance of the woman. Common looks men go for. the model. She has a great shape. she is thin and keeps fit. Also there is the long hair. She has long strait hair and most of the time she tends to be blonde. She has a great smile. Every time she is seen she is smiling. Both men and women look to the outer

Sometimes we look to the outer we forget the inner. God looks at the heart, not who has the best body. Sometimes we get so hung up on the physical that we forget the heart. What would happen if we were to turn ourselves inside out. What would we see. I believe we would see something totally different. That woman who is overweight could be the best looking woman in the world. The man with the big glasses could be a dashing sight. God looks at our hearts. He knows our hearts. If we only went by the physical we become shallow.



How do we determine who is the right one. In processing categories I came up with five. They are height/ shape, list, peers, visualization, and spiritual.



Height/Shape: What do I mean by height? Sometimes people get hung up on height. Most men want a woman that are shorter than him, while woman want a taller man. I actually had a young lady tell me I was too short. Sometimes we allow height to determine who we should be with. Of course this is not always true. I know of some who have gotten married and the wife is taller than the husband. Not everyone is hung up on the size. Height does not always matter. When it comes to shape I am referring to the fitness of ones mate has to be. On some Christian sites its common to read profiles of women saying they are attractive to men with muscles. In reading those profiles I got the impression that those women were shallow. In thinking most men want women who are thin, not with big muscles, but in good shape. We have to look beyond the physical shape of a potential mate.



List: It is common for some people to make a list of what they want in a man or a woman. There are some good idea for doing this. It gives you a good idea of what your looking for. And sets a standard that needs to be met by a potential spouse. Also to help in not compromising ones core beliefs. However, there are some negatives to making a list. What? Yes there are some negatives. One is we can become glued to a list; meaning if one does not have a requirement we want then abort because of one negative. Sometimes we can't get everything one a list. How many times do we make to do lists and not complete them? One may not have all we want but it does not mean he or she is not the right one. Sometimes there is too much emphasis on the list that we forget one important element, and that what God wants. We may make the list with God in mind, but we as humans have a tendency to put what we want in the list instead of what God wants. Also the list can lead to temptation. Lets say its been long time sense the list was made and the right one has not come along. Well you look at the list and decide to compromise some parts of the list. Its better to trust God not just a list. If one makes a list there could be a chance that the list could be trusted more than the Lord.



Peers: Sometimes peers put pressure to be with or stay away from somebody. This can be good in that they could see something that he or she does not see. Again love can cloud our thinking. The person could be a angry person, but the one who loves that one just sees the good qualities. the peers are on the outside seeing, and warning their friend of the anger that comes from the individual. But, this could be bad as well. Peers can pressure someone to stay away because the person is different, or does not meet the norms of the peer groups. The one is under constant pressure from the peers to think that they would not be a good fit for one another, and the fact that he or she is not like them is import becomes one of the central reasons. there could be a personal element as well. A peer may have a dislike towards someone and finds it to be his duty to keep people apart from one another. Peer pressure can go in the direction of trying to put people together as well. Some peers may try to force people together. " You better go for him he likes you," "she really likes you better not pass her up." Sometimes people play match maker. Sometimes they use the notion certain people look good together. This is not always true. Its true that our peers can have good intentions, but if we are not careful we could be keeping people apart, or putting people together that should not be together.



Visualization: A man or a woman try to see themselves with a certain man or woman. A picture show plays in the mind of being with the one,. there is the day the two meet. The images of laugher and marriage. And pictures of kids playing in the mind. To picture each other can lead to picturing, which are images that are played in the mind that are not real. We can be deceived into thinking that this is the one based on our fantasies.



Spiritual: this is looking for Godly qualities. there needs to be a desire to want the one that is Christ like. But we can be spiritually hyper. Which is wanting more than one could reach. Sometimes we expect the one to be completely sanctified and perfect. Sometimes we have a allow people to grow. We have to allow God to move in relationships.



In all of these we should want what God wants not always trying to get the perfect one, but the right according to God �s will. There could be more in this blog or there is some overlap in some parts of this blog. Please comment. I would really like some thoughts on this blog. I know some may disagree with me. I do not claim to be right about everything, or you are wrong. I do not mean to offend anyone, I did leave some things out of this blog.



Jason G

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