My sister turned 21 a couple of days ago and it has got me thinking...
Personally, I am not a big fan of bars and clubs. I generally avoid going to these establishments for a number of reasons: I don't like the second hand smoke, it is often too loud for me to carry on a conversation with someone standing right next to me, I don't like being hit on by men who are old enough to be my father, and I don't enjoy having men look at me like some piece of meat. I also don't really drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol and I don't really see the point of drinking. I don't feel that I need to be drunk to have a good time and I have absolutely no desire to wake up with a hangover in the morning. I've never been drunk so who knows? Maybe I am just missing out on some wonderful experience, but I've seen people with hangovers and it sure doesn't seem worth it to me. Furthermore, alcohol is expensive, so it just seems like some massive waste of money.
On my 21st birthday I had a small get together with a few friends at my apartment. I enjoy cooking, so I made dinner and my roommate made drinks. No one was drunk, but we all still had a perfectly good time.
For my sister's 21st birthday she wanted to go out to some of the bars downtown. I went with her as designated driver. I was pleased to find that Wichita bars are largely smoke free, but the environment still made me uncomfortable. We stayed out until the bars closed and then went over to a friend's apartment. My sister ended up passing out about an hour after we arrived at the apartment. The next morning she didn't remember anything that had happened after leaving the bar. This is another reason that I don't have any desire to get drunk. I can't imagine waking up in the morning and having no recollection of the night before. I would hate to think I might have done something that I would regret.
By now it is probably apparent that my sister and I have quite different opinions on some things. My sister has told me that she would love for me to get drunk sometime. She thinks that I am far too uptight and she thinks that I should let loose from time to time. I think that a lot of my discomfort with alcohol stems from the fact that my parents are completely opposed to it. Growing up, there was never any alcohol of any kind ever kept in our house. My parents never drink and for a long time I told myself that even when I turned 21, I would never drink either. I am now of the opinion that drinking in moderation is not a problem, but I don't think that most people my age drink in moderation. Despite thinking that drinking in moderation is okay, I still feel a twinge of guilt every time I have a drink. Now my sister and I grew up in the same house, but where I had always hated the thought of my parents' disapproval, my sister never really cared what they thought.
What are your opinions on bars and drinking? It sure seems that there are not very many people my age who don't drink. I find it frustrating that people think a party has to have alcohol in order for it to be a good time. Do you agree with my sister that I am just too uptight? ;-)
No, I don't agree with your sister...I agree with you. I don't drink, either. I don't think that a party has to have alcohol to be fun. I see no point in getting drunk, and I can't imagine that a hangover could be worth it.
I do not think that it is a sin to drink, and would have no qualms about having a sip or two if I wanted to...I just don't like it. I also signed a "no drinking" contract when I started my job, so I do have a legitimate reason to abstain...I'd like to keep my job!
Interesting post do to the social exceptance and exploitation that alcohol has become yet again in United States. Have you had a real heart to heart with her about why you don't drink nearly at all? Also she may not be old enough to truely grasp what alcohol not in moderation actuallly does to the body and brain. So my advice would be as such, ask yourself if your sister is mature enough to have an adult conversation on the matter and if not then let it go. She will continue to judge you for not being who she would like you to be. Just remember she is young and in today's society it is absolutely acceptable for people in their early twenties to do nonsense. The only problem is, it can turn into harsh realities down the road. Sounds like you and your sister have different values and that's ok, it's much like my sister and I but a little different due to I being a guy but same principle of different values. Hang in there and love her to the best of your abilities. God asked all his disciples to love unconditionally meaning hey you may not understand the thoughts or behaviors but if people matter then you will look past the faults. Hope that helped.
I do love my sister and we actually get along quite well despite our differences. We sort of agree to disagree. I think she understands where I'm coming from, but I try not to push my opinions on her. The last thing I want is for her to think that I'm being judgmental. I think she gets enough of that from our parents. They have good intentions, but I think that my sister has always felt that our parents compared her to me. Really we both have our own strengths and weaknesses. I have a feeling that when my sister gets older she will probably do less hard-core drinking. However, I do worry a little about the influence that she might have on my youngest sister who is 15 right now.
Nowadays I don�t really drink at all, except on the rare occasion where there is a drink available that I enjoy the taste of, and those aren�t many.
Drinking for the purpose of getting drunk seems to be the only reason most people drink, which I think is wrong. I am one of those �in moderation� people, but I also understand how messy that sort of gray standing can be. I have never been so drunk that I couldn�t remember, and once I did vomit but I am not sure if it was from drinking or from just not feeling well because I started out not feeling so hot to begin with. Either way, I don�t drink what I had that night because now I associate that drink with vomiting. :goofball:
It seems to happen in homes where there is a strict no-alcohol policy that either the offspring are phobic of alcohol, or they see it as a way to be rebellious and go way out of control with it. One of my best friends comes from a strict no-alcohol house, and while she only drinks once in a while and has never been sick or blacked out, she adopts this attitude of pride when she is drinking, like she is a big-girl because of it. To treat it as completely taboo can be harmful, and I hope that your parents always explained to both of you why it wasn�t a thing for them.
My parents were quite different in their approaches to alcohol: my dad had the attitude that if we had alcohol young we wouldn�t be as �fascinated� with it� so consequently he encouraged us to drink as adolescents and my brother became an alcoholic quite young.
Having been clubbing before, I�d like to point out something interesting I found about it when I was in Barcelona. One club my sister and I went to had very, very expensive drinks, so we thought, �Oh, we�ll just dance and drink water, it�ll still be fun!� But we both found that without the happy little buzz of alcohol, we were much more aware of, and annoyed by, people stepping on our feet, girls whipping their hair into our faces, and men staring and pawing at us. Without the dulling effects of alcohol, we couldn�t enjoy a hot, crowded, stinky public place, so in more ways than one, clubbing encourages drinking.
For me, it is a hard subject. Like I said, any more I only have A drink when it is something I like the taste of, and it is hard for me to want to think of it as wrong, so I do not know how clear my judgment is of it. However, I see my brother�s alcoholism and the horrible outcomes of drunk driving, and I feel less and less sure of alcohol being �okay�. Honestly, if somebody has never had a drink in their life, I would encourage them to keep it that way. They might be a person who can handle it, but what if it turns out they cannot?
After binge drinking alot and being in an environment where it is accepted and encouraged, I've come to find it really is a maturity/self-esteem thing. Moderation is good and less is better.
It may not always be obvious but there are many people who do not drink or who choose to drink in moderation. I am in my 20s and have never cared for drinking.
Everyone is different but if drinking takes away the ability to make a good decision then it is best to avoid it.
i think the less you drink, the better off you will be in the long run. i'm not saying it is bad or terrible, or even sinful if you have a few drinks with dinner or hangin out. but the "environment" is terrible, especially for christians who are trying to be close to God. it's like a never-ending temptation rollercoaster. i myself have been riding this ride for a while now and tho i feel i'm out of my partying stage and back on the road with God, i still catch myself wanting to have a "good time". when i know, i don't need alcohol to have a good time. so if you arn't in the habit of drinking, try not to start. cause it's hard to stop just like with anything else, cause drinking is fun in the right circumstances. there's just so many things you have to control that it almost doesn't seem worth it. I really don't enjoy the bar scene, but love to dance. wish there was a place for christians to go dance at without having the "bar scene" apart of it. i would respect your sister in her decision unless she asks you your opinion. be there for her when she needs you ofcourse and just pray for her. :P
I think there's a couple issues here. As far as the club/bar scene goes, I don't have much interest in it. I go to several bars with my friends, but they're a lot more pub-like than actual bars. I think clubs specifically are a bad place for Christians to go, as they're built around the idea of going out, drinking too much getting all handsy and grinding with strangers, then trying to hook up with someone. I guess you could just go to hang out with people or to dance by yourself, but that's never what I did back in the day.
As far as alcohol goes, I'm with the drinking in moderation crowd, but with exceptions. I really, really like beer. I mean, I REALLY like beer. I don't like drinking a lot of beer at one time, but rather, I love the taste of a really good beer. Great beers drunk from a proper glass often have more complexity than fine wine. When I drink a coffee oatmeal stout, I drink it because I think it's absolutely delicious. Not everybody agrees with me. Some people don't like beer at all. If someone doesn't like the taste of beer, what are they drinking it for? Because they need a couple to feel comfortable in social situations? If someone genuinely likes the taste of beer, wine, whiskey, etc., I don't see a problem with them enjoying it responsibly. However, if they're drinking it for the chemical effect it has, even if they're only having one or two, I think that's a much bigger concern.
This is a slippery slope and one that a person must seek God on his own for wisdom. There are different schools of thought on alcohol and each one makes sense, but not so sure wisdom is in all of them. Motives are everything and that is what God looks at in all that we do.
I hate the taste of beer, wine or straight alcohol, but like fruity mixed drinks and the calming effect it has on me. I choose to do very little drinking, if any because of my flesh and what it wants. I went twenty years without any because of my past.
I actually long for a good buzz in the Holy Ghost that I know exists because I've experienced it in the past. Once I was so buzzed up from ministering to women in a shelter, that my two other friends and myself could hardly walk or drive. Say what you want about it, God filled me to overflowing and it was better than any alcohol I've ever had. I stayed that way for three days and have never felt that intensity since.
I believe that the book of Acts phrase, "full of the Holy Ghost" is that type of feeling and I experienced it to some degree. I also think that Martyrs are so full of the Holy Ghost when they are being tortured or killed that they are full of this supernatural joy or buzz and that grace and joy enables them to sing and rejoice in the midst of it all.
I hear what Siy is saying and Tulip makes good points, too. I for one used to be a weekend warrior and did more than my share of drinking. I now have friends that are having health problems from it and a few that are in heaven due to drinking too much, car accidents and disease.
We need an outpouring like the Book of Joel describes for the last days~is all I got to say. :yay:
