Author	Thread: Wedding blues
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 11 Dec, 2010 07:38 PM Am I the only single person out there who gets the "wedding blues"? I had to go to a wedding tonight...yes, HAD to -- the bride is a close friend, and I was the pianist for the ceremony. It was a beautiful wedding, and I'm very happy for the newlyweds. But I always come away from weddings feeling a bit "blue" and even a bit cynical. Do any of you ever feel this way? How do you deal with the feelings? I've tried praying about it, memorizing Bible verses, forcing myself to focus on the happiness of the event instead of my own selfishness, thinking happy thoughts about how someday it will be my turn (I hope), etc. But I can't seem to shake off the wedding blues...and they get worse with every wedding I attend. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 11 Dec, 2010 10:31 PM I have literally lost count of the people I know who got engaged this semester. It's probably in the neighborhood of 15 couples. I don't necessarily get the blues from weddings, but I'm quite literally running out of single friends. I can definitely feel for ya. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 05:33 AM Well to be honest, I almost always feel bad or nervous for the people getting married. It's hard for me to not say something like "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Anyway, I love being single/unmarried. I love always learning to enjoy being myself at all times and look for ways to grow and friendships to make. Don't wait for some one else to do something or make a move. You could make it a game of how many guys can you flirt with per wedding. Keep your chin up. A friend of mine was telling horror stories from when he worked at a nursing home and it made me realize that one day I'll be old, and all these days spent worrying, you don't get them back! No matter how I end up, I want to spend as many as possible living in joy, rather than worry. Now go play Ode To Joy on your piano :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 05:42 AM "forcing myself to focus on the happiness of the event instead of my own selfishness..." Also, focusing on your own happiness (or any feeling for that matter) isn't selfish, it's taking responsibility. If some one told you that you don't deserve to be happy, what would you say? Just find and do what makes you happy. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 11:10 AM Thanks guys...glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like that. Oh, and Brandon, how in the world did you know that "Ode to Joy" was my friend's recessional piece? I'm serious...the violinist and I played it over and over and over while the whole wedding party recessed out the back of the church! Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 11:17 AM I feel the same way, bc. I don't have any words of advice for you unfortunately =( I mainly just try to avoid weddings. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 11:50 AM CHILLS! :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 04:26 PM I do get that feeling, but I love going to weddings! When I am older, I don't want to look back at this time and remember it for how much time I spent crying or being depressed about being single when I wanted to be married, I want to remember the amazing adventure that I went on with my God! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 12 Dec, 2010 06:20 PM I agree with you Pixy...I just try to avoid weddings whenever possible! Of course, playing for weddings is a great way to pick up an extra $200-$300 dollars for just a couple hours of very easy work, so I do choose to go to some weddings in spite of the wedding blues. As long as I don't know the people getting married, I'm usually ok. The hard part is when it's one of my few remaining single friends...and they are disappearing fast. I guess I sort of made it sound like I despise being single, and like I'm not living my life to the fullest each day because I'm always wishing I were married. That's not really true. I DO wish I were married, and I long for the day when I'll get married. But I'm not exactly unhappy with my life. I absolutely know without a doubt that I am where God wants me right now. I love my family, my friends, and my job. Being single certainly has its advantages...my money can be saved or spent however I wish, I don't have as many responsibilities, I can do what I want when I want, I can serve God and minister in different areas from married women...basically, I have a lot of freedom as a single girl that I wouldn't have if I were married. Still, I've had that freedom for plenty long enough, and I'd trade it in a heartbeat for married life. I won't look back on these single years as "wasted" or anything. They've been productive, growing, learning years for me. I just wish I could get past them and on to the next stage of my life! That's why I get the wedding blues...I'm being selfishly impatient. Deep inside I know that God will bring along a great guy for me when He knows that I'm ready. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 14 Dec, 2010 09:37 PM I am genuinely sad for people who get �wedding blues�, it really does sound like a horrible feeling. While fundamentally it is a little selfish, it is probably really hard to ignore the desire for something you really, really want. I guess I always had a very relaxed approach to thinking about marriage and relationships: yeah I love men and would love to be married to an awesome one, but I guess I never felt fixated on it like a lot of women (and men too, I guess). Honestly I think it has been great for me and is part of how I got to be in the wonderful relationship I am in now. Maybe I just kind of took it for granted that God was going to send me somebody, I dunno. Definitely pray about it, it can�t be a feeling you want to hold on to. And I don�t mean praying for God to give you a man right this minute. :goofball: Being single is painted as such a negative thing� if you are single, everybody in the world is trying to hook you up and reminding you that you are single. But what�s so wrong with that? Again, I know I am probably absolutely no help since I�ve not had that sort of powerful longing. Anyway, I hope that next time you are playing piano for a wedding that you are able to enjoy the part you are playing in making somebody�s special day that much more enjoyable. Honestly, if I had a pianist at my wedding I would probably be thinking, �She�s lucky, I wish I could play a piano like that�.� It looks like you have a handle on what�s going on in your head though, just try not to beat yourself up over it too much. Post Reply
View Profile History	Wedding blues Posted : 15 Dec, 2010 09:35 AM So how many guys are you going to flirt with bc? Post Reply

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