Ok, so I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm not even sure what I'm good at exactly...and I'm about to be 24 for christ's sake!! I really want to have God as the center of my life but I keep getting distracted by my own ambitions. I'm so angry at God for many reasons though too. I hate that he put me where he did cause I can't seem to do anything right, like I can't seem to get where I want to be. Laugh at me, everyone does, heck I even laugh at myself cause I seme hopelessly hopeless. I just seem to keep walking in circles and when I get nowhere I get angry and upset. I just honestly don't know how to deal anymore. I had and have this vision of who I want to be, where I want to be, what I want to be doing, and who I want to be doing it with. But I just don't know if God wants me to give up my dreams or if he just wants to have his hands in them. Everything just always feels like somekind of sacrifice in one way or another. I'm so angry but I"m just wollering in self pitty.... I mean everyone growing up who's a christian has told me to not be like the world, to set myself apart, but there's things in the world that I'd like to be a part of. Well some things anyway, like I'd love to be a writer, I'd love to experience different cultures traveling around the world and other things.... I mean some things in life can be distractions and I know I should be focusing on God but some people seem to condemn me for things I like or do. I know it's like the fishermen in the bible, Jesus told them to drop their nets that he'd make them fishers of men instead of fish. I know I should focus on him but my heart desires to do so many things too though.... I guess sometimes it really is hard to just focus on God and nothing else. I feel so guilty most of the time though, like I'm not being Christ like at all. I know in my heart I want to be like him, I want to be better but I just lapse into this sinful, lazy human. Even giving up a simple vice seems so hard to do.
Don't should yourself and don't let other people should on you. Reading 'Everyday Zen' and learning to meditate 30 mins a day has really helped me out a lot in dealing with life probably more than anything else.
In response to what Brandon said... Meditation is great, but we must make sure that we're practicing Biblical meditation and not the Eastern religion sort. Let me also add here that a book about Zen would appear to be promoting Eastern religion v. Christ-centered faith. I would be very leery of reading such a book.
Here are some further thoughts on how we can practice Biblical meditation:
Biblical meditation is something that should be done continually, much in the same way that the Bible teaches us to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We should communicate with God throughout our days and continually be drawing from His strength and from the joy of our salvation. Meditation should be done within that context.
Meditation is a couple of things really. First of all, it is a form of worship in that it is to focus your thoughts on God and His Word, rather than on your circumstances and the things going on around you. It is a choice to glorify God with your mind. Secondly, it is way to "digest" the character of God and His Word. It is pondering and being mindful of the ways of God. Such things as obedience to God, service to Him, and showing kindness to others, should be a natural outflow from our meditation.
In Joshua 1:8, the Lord commands Joshua, "'Do not let this Book of Law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.'" You'll notice that it says to "meditate day and night." Meditation is not something to be confined to just a small part of your day. In a sense, it's training your mind to think about Godly stuff so that all the worldly clutter isn't floating around in there as much and influencing your actions so much.
David talks about meditation quite a bit in the Psalms. In Psalm 1:2, he talks about it within the context of staying away from sin, and compares the man who does so and who meditates on God's law to a "tree planted by streams of water." In Psalm 48:9, we're given an example of something other than the law to meditate on: "Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love." And another example in Psalm 77:12: "I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds."
I concure with you pixy in that at the head of philosophy be it east or west should be getting to understand the nature of God. I do find it helpful in that it complements Christianity pretty well. For instance, The Bible talks about 'dying to oneself' or 'don't worry' and then zen tells you how to do it and get out of our own way and stop being our own worst enemy. To me the Bible is on a pedistal. We should aspire to be everything in there it talks about and to me zen is sort of the ramp up to get there.
I felt like I was being split apart like I was two different people
What changed:
Brokenness - You aren't perfect, you don't have to be, stop trying to be perfect. Don't give-up, but be in process! Sure you have weaknesses or tendencies; but if you ask God to take those away then you are missing out what He's trying to teach you. Yes the devil goes around like a roaring lion seeking whom he can destroy, but by giving it to God, He can make something worthwhile out of this mess we call a life! There is no such thing as "strong Christian", but rather Christians who realize they are dependent (in need of) on Christ (savior) each day!
You need to find someone you trust (preferably someone older and a solid christian). I'm sure you've asked for forgiveness and surrendered your sins countless times before God and tried to make yourself feel guilt and shame to the point of being sick or enraged about it. However, you need some to confide in and keep you accountable; you can't bottle-it-up and you can't isolate yourself!
Try to understand grace...
Not trying to insult you, but I'm still learning about grace so maybe you already understand the concept of grace. "Grace - there is nothing you can do to make God love you anymore and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less. " When Christ died on the cross His blood covered your past sin, your present sin and your future sin. Therefore when God looks at you in Christ He doesn't see your sin because Christ's blood has you covered. You still need to confess and repent of your sin, but you don't have to feel the weight or wait of shame and guilt. God knows the serenity of your heart!
Hold onto the truth's of God and don't believe in the lies!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Psalm 121:1-3 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills�where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip�he who watches over you will not slumber;
Try to find a small christian small group that can love you well and a group that you can love. You can only love others well because Christ first love you!
This is a little bit of my story... Now while I might have made statements directed to you if they don't apply please don't take offense.
i guess you need to go out , see a movie, and if somebody by your side is a woman, and dont see her bf.. tell her.. can you give me some popcorns!? haha
and tell her.. hey.. would you want to date with me sometimes? lol..
It�s jk Steven.. really you are big case!!
Steven take it easy,, nothing is happend. live your life.., love so much, laugh for ever!..
you are handsome guy with crazy ways of course.. but you are adorable!!.. but you need to have patient.. we need to have patient.. cuz im sometimes i lose it too lol
i wanted to flight to canada on decemeber but i dont knpw maybe i will go to europe again... i dont know..
you need a trip.. maybe your soulmate is not here... mayber our soulmates are not here.. so.. forget about your problesm we need to forget about our problems and help others with their proiblmes..
comfort someone, and you will be comforted at your time..
My friend we need to have patient. and our Dad will do it..
We need to trust on him.. God is only that we have..
