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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 26 Jun, 2009 04:03 PM

I am going to be the best man at my brother's second wedding. But as opposed to his first, I will actually speak at his reception. With him knowing how good of a poet I am. So I asked if it was okay if I had written a poem to read at his reception, and he said he would be honored. It wasn't until later in which I decided to write two different poems. One for him personally, and one for both to them. I am still working on this, but I would like to hear an opinion on how one of the poems sounds.



Blessed is the day my bother gets married

For he has found true love

And that is something to hold on dear for

But things may not always work out

And may not clearly see eye to eye

But nothing is ever as perfect

As what people want it to be

It is impossible for things to be perfect

For in love there must be an imperfection

But that imperfection is something that

Can hold everything together

For it is in true love which can hold no bounds

When two people would to anything for each other

Even when it means doing something

They don't like doing

It is because of their love

And the fact they care deeply

They can put up with it

Because they like to see

Each other happy and content.

For in each others eyes

Neither could do each other wrong

Because their heart is in the right place

For love to grow into marriage

Takes time as people learn more about each other

And learn new things that can change them



Please note, that there might be some grammatical and/or spelling errors. This poem is not yet finished, and certain things may change. Thank You.

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1LovelyItaliana

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 1 Jul, 2009 05:27 PM

If you ever need a proofreader, I'm your girl. I'm also good at helping with poetry.

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angel_in_mn

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 1 Jul, 2009 09:07 PM

Hey Squ1rrels,



I have a few suggestions for you about the wording. I would have preferred to send you a private message of the minor things I would change, but I am out of your contact range.



I would like to ask you for permission to post here what I would adjust.



I think you have done an excellent job and the message is definitely clear, but I would just word some things differently. I will leave it up to you if you want me to post it or not.



God bless.

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 2 Jul, 2009 06:59 PM

@angel - I adjusted my mail settings after i was gonna send you a message to reply to but alas, I am out of your range. Strange how these things work. Like I said, the poem is probably half finished. There is more I want to say/put in the poem. I have until August 16 to make my final draft/changes, because that is his wedding date.

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angel_in_mn

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 3 Jul, 2009 12:32 AM

Haha...ok. I will send you a private message. Like I said, I would prefer it that way anyways.

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Dayna389

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 7 Jul, 2009 10:37 AM

I think you did a great job on the poem. and im sure it will make your brother happy. maybe youll even see a tear lol.

congrats to your brother and his bride.

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aceets

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Can I get an opinion
Posted : 13 Jul, 2009 02:18 PM

squ1rrels



That was a very good attempt. Since I am more into interpreting poetry then writing it, allow me to say something about that.



If I was to give a title for this poem I would call it something like the good, the bad and the everyday. Why? Because the poem describes three different settings. I know for a fact (though I have not been married) that there will be good times in his marriage and that he will enjoy them. I also know that there will be bad times which he will have to endure. Finally, I know that there will be much more that falls in between. Thus, I think that you are right to pay the greatest attention to the final setting.



Blessings

Aceets

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