What are some of the most important things you need to know about a person? In my opinion, these include the vitality of their Christian faith, their values, their passions and, not least, the ways in which they both communicate and receive communication.
One way of discovering someone�s preferences with regard to comunication is by sitting down and completing a personality test. The Mayers Briggs Type Indicator is a good example of this. Its goal is give you a general picture of your preferences. It does so by classifying people into 16 different personality types. It will help you discover whether you are empowered by spending time with people or alone. You will realise whether your attention is focused on the forest or the trees. It will highlight your preferred mode of processing your experiences, be that through reason or the emptions. Finally, it will give you an idea of how you choose to organize your data.
Despite the fact that modern society has a broad preference for certain modes of communication over others, there is really no such thing as a hierarchy at work here. All personality types are good. The question of whether a particular type may or may not be used for God�s glory is pointless. The real question is what are the things which get you excited and inspire you to give your best in His service? For instance, I could do church administration. But it will only get me frustrated because my real passion is for ideas, debates and deep personal conversations.
We also need to be aware of diversity at the level of interpersonal relationships. As stated earlier, I am absolutely convinced of the need for proper communication if any relationship is to work. To give you an example, if your preferred way of getting to know people is through sporting activities of some kind, you may easily be misled by my reaction. I am sure to enjoy the activity the first time, especially if this is something which I have never done before. But it would not be the game as such which got me excited. I would take pleasure in the new experience. Make a routine of it and you are sure to have discovered a recipe for boredom.
This is not the only personality test which could help you learn more about yourself. Nevertheless, it has given me a broad framework for further thought into how I prefer to communicate and the ways others could interact with me in a meaningful way. Similar to the famous (or infamous) five love languages, it has made me aware of my own needs and the needs of others.
One thing I am passionate about is the Alpha Course. When I was asked to form a team, I turned to Mayers Briggs for guidance on the sorts of people I might ask to join me. I knew very well that I would greatly enjoy meeting new people, interacting with them and, especially, discussing important issues in life. But I was also aware of the fact that I am no organizer. Searching for a venue, making it look pretty and welcoming, or even putting together a rota for the cooks who kindly agreed to provide meals for us was way out of my comfort zone. Could I do these? Of course I could. Was I able to do them well? Most likely not. Therefore, I made sure my team included people with an eye for a detail, others who just used hospitality, and still others who always came to team meetings with a calendar, a notebook and a pen. This was all possible because I was made aware of my own shortcomings when it came to communicating effectively.
Having said all this, several warnings need to be sounded clearly. This test is not the Word of God! Take what it tells you with a pinch of salt. Also, neither one of us could be classified into 16 or even 1616 types. Everyone is uniquely made and given a peculiar part to play in God�s story. Moreover, this text only reveals your general preferences. Therefore, it does not necessarily follow that you will always behave in accordance with what it results tell you. Finally, exercise great caution with regard to what the results tell you about other suitable personality types for the pursuit of romantic relationships. This is not a shortcut to actually taking the time to get to know someone. Nor it is a way to �figure� someone �out�. Use what you learn about yourself and others as a spur to love the people of God and serve them better.
I hope that my own experience of learning more about my own preferences with regard to communication has stimulated you to go on your own journey. There is little doubt that it has helped me grow. And if you got into a �get to know you� conversation with me, do not be surprised if I asked you about your preferred ways of communication.
