Author	Thread: Dress code
Velvety_88 View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 28 Dec, 2015 04:55 PM Ok so I was talking to a guy for couple of weeks and everything was fine and we were planning on setting our 1st date. But, yesterday he pointed out that he is Independent Baptist. I thought that it was like any baptist churches I attended before but its not. He said that he is willing to date me if I start changing the way I dress by wearing ONLY skirts or dresses by the knee or below. He did mention how its wrong for women to be wearing dress pants and jeans. He also phrased the bible verse of Deuteronomy 22:5. I mean I really like him but I don't think I can accept that since it sounds a bit controlling. Besides if he wanted a girl wearing dresses why did he contact me if based on my pics you can clearly see I also wear jeans. What do you all think Post Reply
Velvety_88 View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 28 Dec, 2015 04:56 PM Correction he is Independent Fundamental Baptist Post Reply
View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 2 Jan, 2016 12:07 PM It's only wrong if it's for the purpose of dressing like a man, feminists did that in the beginning and that's how it went mainstream so.... your choice I guess. Anyway a woman in a dress is SO much more feminine than one in pants, So I'm def pro dress/skirt but I'm biased Post Reply
View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 2 Jan, 2016 04:16 PM he should be looking at your character and love for God. if not, then its like going backward to the way the phrasiee made people suffer with soo many laws that couldnt be kept Post Reply
4Lanz View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 25 Feb, 2016 11:25 PM I really like how Paul Washer, a pastor from the reformed baptists, explains that the matter in clothes for both men and women is a concern on sensuality. That if clothes serve as a a picture frame to highlight your face, then it is ok; but if clothes serve as a picture frame to highlight your body, then it is sensual and you should reflect upon the reasons you prefer those clothes. He didn't mention a problem with pants or jeans, but he exposed concern over skinny jeans. I am not a baptist, I believe that as long as a woman is not trying to portray a man or harlotry through sensuality, it is okay if she wears pants or dress. Also, I recommend you watch a teaching from John Eckhardt about controlling and manipulating persons or groups. Worthwhile if you are concerned over a controlling person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 5 Mar, 2016 07:10 AM true salvation and Christianity is based and founded on love,grace and acceptance and it isn't rigid.religion on the other hand is.we all at times mix salvation with religion.Pray to God,ask Him to guide to dress in a way that brings glory to him.You'll be surprised how He will guide you each and every day.the guy.He has control issues.if you really like him.pray for him.Christ grace is sufficient for everyone and God can change anyone. listen to God not man. Post Reply
ladyarwen View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 5 Jun, 2016 12:12 PM Although, personally I prefer to wear long skirts and dresses, I wouldn't date a man who tried to control what I wear. It's especially telling right at the beginning of a relationship or possible relationship. Once people know one another better, I don't see a problem with a man requesting that a lady-friend wear something more modest for an activity together if a particular outfit is revealing (like a bikini, low-cut top, mini-skirt) if he was struggling to keep his eyes from wandering. But it would be a request only, not a demand or a ultimatum. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 21 Jun, 2016 10:11 PM ladyarwen has the right idea here, though there certainly is some truth in how one decides to 'frame' themselves. It is ultimately the woman who will (and should) decide what to wear, although if she is dressing as though she is purposefully highlighting her chest or rear end over her many other features - born again or not and whether truly on purpose or the mere by-product of social naivete - it may behoove those brothers in the faith struggling with lust to steer clear of such individuals. It also may behoove those Christian sisters wearing, as Dave Chappelle once famously said, "A w*ore's uniform," to think twice before doing so, not only because of the thorn in the side it may become to their Christian brothers (who still retain the freedom to simply look away and whose fault it ultimately is should they succumb to lust) but because of the carnal attention such attire will undoubtedly attract by all, no matter how unintentional said attention was to begin with. Post Reply
dance2cedm View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 1 Oct, 2016 07:50 PM I see two issues here. The first is the dress code. He attends a Fundamental Independent Baptist church. To a church like this, dress codes are important. Unless you are absolutely certain that you could spend the rest of your life enjoying dressing the way the people in his church expect, then don't enter a relationship with him. This issue will not go away. It will be a constant point of tension. If you think you can change in order to please him, think again, and make sure you really can, forever. The second issue is one you noticed -- it's odd that even though you had pictures of yourself in jeans, he contacted you anyway. The fact that he is expecting you to change and conform to his ways from the outset does suggest a controlling person. You can't change controlling people. They will ruin your life. Run away as fast as you can. -------------------------- I realize it's almost a year since the original post, so this issue has probably been resolved, but I wanted to post in case someone else was facing a similar issue and came here, but didn't want to publicly ask about their own issue. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dress code Posted : 14 Apr, 2020 12:09 PM I think you are wrong and he is right. Post Reply