Author	Thread: reality check
FocusIsEverything View Profile History	reality check Posted : 11 Jun, 2014 10:00 PM It's all about u and what u want.....women want romance,spontaneous gifts, affection etc....what about what the guy wants.....If I said that what I wanted from a woman didn't involve pleasure or food (it's not the key to my heart) then could u guess it. I'm tired of women who want to be treated like their so precious but have no idea of what the Bible even says about the way a marriage should operate. No order whatsoever just romance her and everything will be happily ever after. No wonder the divorce rate in the church is just as high as the world if not higher. If I wasn't convinced that the god of the bible is the one true god then I would have left Christianity awhile ago. I just had to vent....really getting tired.......we seem just as vain as the pagans. Post Reply
CuriousGeorge View Profile History	reality check Posted : 12 Jun, 2014 07:03 PM *God Post Reply
Lukia^ View Profile History	reality check Posted : 13 Jun, 2014 04:56 AM :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Post Reply
View Profile History	reality check Posted : 13 Jun, 2014 08:49 AM I guess they have watched too much tv? People are delusionally optimistic that's all, they don't know what they really want so they opt for the superficial obvious things that everyone says. Like the geniusses that dye their hair blonde to show how individualistic they are... just like every one else is doing. Then again it might just be badly hidden insecurity, they know they are not really princesses but think if they can get a guy to treat them like one anyway it won't matter. Trust me, you are probably better off anyway. Think of it as weeding out the obviously incompatible with you one's, I do. Half the reason I'm still single is I confuse most woman I guess, they hate the unexpected ways I respond and my stubborn refusal to avoid any and all stupid tests & games... had my braces removed a decade ago and have lost all taste for that nonsense :laugh: At the end of the day know this, no woman that rejects you because you don't fit her version of "AWESOME" is worth your effort. Same thing the other way around. Just be patient and stop rushing everything. Post Reply
FocusIsEverything View Profile History	reality check Posted : 13 Jun, 2014 09:07 AM thanks for the comments but I'm not rushing it.....just venting....I will wait�however long i have to.....there is no substitute for a compatible match Post Reply
phalom88 View Profile History	reality check Posted : 16 Jun, 2014 03:22 AM I just want to say that I really appreciate your feelings, Focus. I find that few men and fewer women know themselves enough to offer more than the basic animalistic desires that they feel. I include in this category desires for kindness and affection, stability, leadership, etc., as animals have these as well. What do we have that animals don't? I believe that we have a soul, something unchanging, eternal, and unique. Only a match based on this spiritual identity would be worth it to me. Jesus didn't die for us because He loves any random human animal, but because He loves me, you, that girl who winked at you three times and wrote "jus a simpl girl" as her profile, and everyone else, specifically, for the treasure that He had part in making us, and, necessarily, at a level way deeper than the level that we will ever know (let alone love) ourselves. Sure, Jesus can do it. Is there hope for us mere men to discover the treasure that lies at the core of a woman? They aren't going to help us much, it seems. See Ecclesiastes 7:27-28, 1 Timothy 2:11-14, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25-27... They really need us. Post Reply
FocusIsEverything View Profile History	reality check Posted : 16 Jun, 2014 08:15 PM Thanks for the comments. ....I left cdff for a long time because i was so frustrated not with not finding a match but with the constant opposition i got from quoting scriptures to justify what i was looking for in a woman and quoting scriptures that talked about the duty of a husband that i was willing to accept and try to fulfill to the best of my ability. I came back because I outside of cdff Christians r just the same. I'm starting to think that most believers don't want a biblical marriage.....but instead a modern day definition of a biblical marriage which isn't biblical at all......seems like relationships based on personalities and appearances and traditions are the standard. When the original attraction and excitement wears off.....what then? Without AGREEMENT that relationship will run out of gas ....what then? On to the next and the next and the next......I came back to cdff mainly because ppl r active here. At least u can get constant feedback about issues in your heart from both sides. Post Reply
View Profile History	reality check Posted : 18 Jun, 2014 04:39 AM This actually has more to do with an emotional response to the op's limited perception and understanding of individual experiences, and has little to nothing to do with the actual overall reality check on women, people, and relationships. It can't be all one thing and not another. Order is not in a zero-sum competition with romance. Rather, the two enhance each other. You'll get a lot more mileage out of putting your efforts into being some one a woman actually wants to submit herself to and learning how to be better and more genuine about connecting and interacting with people, rather than indulging in spewing your entitled mindset all over the place trying to justify why you shouldn't have to change and everyone else should instead in order to accommodate you. Post Reply
FocusIsEverything View Profile History	reality check Posted : 18 Jun, 2014 08:43 AM I do agree that romance and submission enhance each other .......but from experience and from observation of friends and nonfriends....believers and non believers.......romance shouldn't be the foundation for a long term relationship. ....The word of God should.......agreement in the the word......how can 2 walk together unless they agree. That is why simple communication without the romance in the beginning should be how it starts. If 2 dont agree then how can u walk together how can u know if you are equally yoked.im not against expressing affection but the romance should come after u r sure that the 2 of u r equally yoked. It shouldn't b used to win a woman. As far as submission goes, like I said b4 . ...what's so bad about submitting to each other. ...The Bible commands it. Women want certain things in a relationship and so do guys. Not just submission to the husband it goes both ways. And as far entitlements go......If the guy thinks because he has a head of the home name tag......he is entitled to submission then he is incorrect. Likewise, if a woman thinks she is entitled to stuff because of her beauty and or sexiness then she is incorrect also. If he does his duty as husband then she should submit. If she does her duty as wife he should submit to her and love her like Christ loves the church. Hopefully that clarifies any misunderstanding of my previous posts. Post Reply
View Profile History	reality check Posted : 18 Jun, 2014 03:39 PM I think what you're struggling with is attraction and getting people to like you. And completely forgoing romance, fun, excitement, and playfulness just isn't how it's done. You attract, relate, and bond with people through play and experiences, and as you go you find out about each others core personal meaningful beliefs like that. Again, it takes both equally (Substance and Style, if you will) to find the right person for you at all stages. That's just the way it is. Post Reply
FocusIsEverything View Profile History	reality check Posted : 18 Jun, 2014 07:13 PM Bro are u serious? Post Reply

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