I've never felt this sense of urgency to explain myself when it came to other people looking at me oddly and exclaiming that I was. I knew that the approval of people was my least concern and I felt comforted by my creator and family because they knew me. I did go through the whole phase of trying to find out who I was, where I belonged and what was my purpose. I haven't fully understood what God wants of me and believe me, I'm winging my way through it day by day. Praying and hoping. Believing and having faith. And if I happen upon struggles and sufferings, then hallelujah! Praise the Lord! In all circumstances, I am learning to thank Him.
My family and I recently celebrated (lifting our mourning period) the life of our grandmother who passed away in October, 2013. A lot of our relatives turned up, most of whom were her siblings. And like clock work, hearts were stirred, emotions rocked as they, being elders of the family, saw fit to try and fix everyone. My granduncle and his son, had asked permission from our mother to come and speak to us. Out of my five siblings and I, I had failed to be there during this 'talk'.
I got home only to let my heart be broken by the words of my 'family'. "You're not looking after your mother properly", "I'm very disappointed", "How could you be so selfish?"...judgement after judgement was passed. I could not take the pain as I felt the burden and pain of my siblings baring the brunt of such venomous words. I shed my tears openly, as my little sister's recalled this act of indecency. I cried for my brother's and sister's and the harshness of it all. The low blow was the fact that they blamed our parents for the way we were brought up.
Yes, Jesus did rebuke and correct his disciples yet He did not pass judgement as it was the Father who was the ultimate judge in the end. I mean we're far from perfect and yet we are called to be perfect (holy) just as Christ is. Here's the fun fact, we're human's, we make mistakes, we fall, and we brake. It's what we choose to do in those moments that really define who we really are in Christ.
We still haven't gotten our lives together, even before our father passed away, we were in a mess. I heard somewhere that God uses a mess to send/be a message. All glory and honor goes back to God!
Glory and honer to God indeed for your experiences that brought out maturity in you. Maturity is not measured by age but by experiences one goes through, especially the end result as you have already said, "We fall, and we brake. It's what we choose to do in those moments that really define who we really are in Christ." That's a loaded statement that stood out as I red through your post.
Just wanna say that, most of us are wounded people. Who wound us? Often those whom we love and those who love us especially family. This is a beginning of healing sis. When our pain won't be kept a secret in isolation while its nourished daily when thinking of what happened. It's for your own good that you've opened up and shared your story.
Was feeling discouraged few weeks ago. It was almost as if I was losing my purpose in life... If at all I have discovered what my purpose is. A special friend I met here sent me an email reminding me the following:
Who am I?
Christ�s Friend, John 15:15
The children�s hymn tells us �What a friend we have in Jesus� this has perhaps lost some meaning to us as our contemporary society has devalued the title of �friend�. Of the many names and descriptions of God, Friend is the one title that cuts me to the quick. For Jesus to be my God, Savior, Lord, Redeemer,�. He has done all the work; our only act is that of submission. Here the Bible tells us that we are the Friend of Jesus. Friendship is a relationship with both parties giving to the other. This is not to say that God needs anything from us instead that we give freely of ourselves. I learned in the Marines that a friend is someone who I would freely give my life for and without asking I know that my friend would do the same for me. A friend is also someone who we are comfortable sharing our hearts with and who handles our heart with gentleness while we do the same with theirs.
There was a movie in which two friends were brought into an emergency room. One of the girls was dying and she asked her friend if she loved her enough to die for her. Her friend replied �Yes�. The dying friend sternly told her �Then live for me�. Friendship calls us to live for each other as well.
Justified, Romans 5:1
Scripturally justification is to deem to be right. In the Old Testament to be justified meant complete fulfillment of the law. Jesus is the complete fulfillment of the law and when we are in Jesus His righteousness is imparted to us making us Justified before God.
A Member of Christ�s Body, I Corinthians 12:27
I Corinthians 12:1-31 describes the body of Christ. We can be encouraged when we read in verse 22: �On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable are treated with special honor.�
A Saint, Ephesians 1:1
Term used for believers to denote Holy ones or set apart ones. Saint is used throughout scripture to speak of one of God�s faithful. In spite of what some churches may tell us, Saints are not a person who has miracles accredited to them and are now dead. The church has no authority to grant sainthood only God can grant sainthood and He has called you His Saint.
I've only copied these few sentences its a very long email. I hope this will help you somehow sis, since in your opening sentence you said, "I haven't fully understood what God wants of me and believe me, I'm winging my way through it day by day"
I don't go through a day without reading this email. It has been helpful to me... Hope you'll find help in it as God unfolds His purpose for your life.
I'm sorry for sending a very long rely. I'm working on repenting from doing that.
