Author	Thread: What is a parent?
Admin	What is a parent? Posted : 14 May, 2012 03:00 AM About a year and a half ago, my sister lost custody of 4 of her 6 kids (one was already in my parents' care and the other wasn't even born yet). I'm not going to go in to details on as to why, I'm just going to sum it up by saying her boyfriend was a lazy idiot and she's not any better. They have broken up (I know it doesn't sound very Christian of me to be happy that they are separated but I am. Forgive me for that as well as talking negative about them, but I am being truthful.) The girls got placed with my parents and I moved back in to help them. My sister could not live with the girls while the charges were pending, so she moved into a small apartment less than 2 miles away. She is only over once or twice a week. When she [i]is[/i] she spends most of her time on the computer "looking for a job" which means she'll put in one or two applications, then play around on Facebook. This not only makes me mad but my folks get upset with it too. These girls (she didn't have any boys) are [i]NOT[/i] the easiest kids to take care of. One (who is 6yo) has ADHD, one (she's 9 yo) more than likely has a learning disorder and is quite a drama queen and will cry when she's forced to do something...like homework. The 4 yo is (along with her 14 yo sister) hardly any problem. The 2 year old has had some hearing problems, which was fixed in October, but she still has problems with getting her speech up to where it should be. The 1 year old baby stays with us to make things easier since at the time my sister had a job working odd hours. What got me thinking about this, is today at church, they asked all the moms to stand up, and I didn't since I haven't given birth to my own children. After the service, as we were putting the girls in the car, my mom told me I should have stood up as well, since I take care of the girls more than "other people" do. (she was indicating to my sister. We aren't real happy with her and the way she "raised" her kids) My question is am I more of a parent than she is, even though she gave birth to them? Post Reply
View Profile History	What is a parent? Posted : 14 May, 2012 12:11 PM For better or worse, I've been a 'parent' to several kids over the years. Most of them turned out alright and I like to believe that I had some small part in that, but I was only ever viewed on par with a babysitter by the adults, who seemed to belong to an elite club because "they" had had children by birth and I could "never understand" because I wasn't a parent. I'm older and wiser now; I have a daughter who's biologically mine, and I'm "daddy" to her older brother despite not being related to him. He knows I'm not his real dad but he doesn't mind - he knows I love him to bits and he reciprocates it because I've taken on that role and children generally do want to have someone they can call dad. I suppose the point I'm making in a round-about way is that if you're the one who feeds them, bathes them, picks them up from school and shows them affection, then you're a mum and if they didn't see their real mum for a while, they'd probably start to call you that. Don't let anyone belittle your contribution just because you weren't involved in their conception! Post Reply
simplyme_jaz View Profile History	What is a parent? Posted : 16 May, 2012 12:25 AM @sweetcherryblossom definitely you are! Your one of those non-biological Mother's that should acknowledge and give honor too:applause: The only difference your not the one gave birth to them but all the responsibility and love that a Mother should give to their children are those exactly you filling up for your sister:glow: Be bless:glow: Post Reply
View Profile History	What is a parent? Posted : 31 May, 2012 01:12 PM You are definitely a mama! Here's an anecdote: I adopted my son, and I am just as much his real mom as if I had carried him in my belly. Genetic ties only take you so far. Real parents take care of their kids. They are involved in their lives. They teach their kids about God and how to live their lives right. It sounds like you are doing those things. It is unfortunate your sister has not stepped up to the parenting plate. But the kids are lucky to have you and your parents helping raise them. Best wishes to yo u all! Post Reply