Why doesn't anyone take marriage seriously anymore? It use to be something that when two people loved each other they would be together until death. Now there are people who get married many times. Some circumstances I understand, but most of the problem is they marry too young, or get themselves pregnant, or just settle for someone, or God isn't in the equation.
In Keeping God in the Small Stuff by Bruce and Stan there is a part about marriage. They say:
"Marriages may be made in heaven, but they must be lived here on earth.
Marriage is not to be taken lightly. God designed it to be a sacred union between a man and a woman. It is not just for a moment; it is for a lifetime.
Marriage is in God's plan for some, and it may not be His plan for others. To whatever situation God calls you, it is His gift to you. Remember that God knows what is best for you.
If you get married, then God wants you wholeheartedly, devoted to your spouse in love, loyalty, and respect. If you are single, your life should be marked by sexual and moral purity. In either circumstances, God wants your life to reflect His holiness.
As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one."
Ephesians 5:31-32
I believe that if more people follow this there would be less divorces.
You are spot on about marriage, but I think the real problem behind divorce is that there is not actual love in a marriage. If there are problems that need to be worked out, they can be overcome if BOTH people are more concerned for their spouse's well-being than their own, each loving the other more than himself or herself.
Perhaps the real question is why people don't take love seriously anymore, and I think the reason is that our concept of "love" is so jaded and distorted that almost nobody truly knows what it is anymore. I Corinthians 13 describes it very well, but I think the core prerequisite for love is truth. I mean seriously, everyone out there is looking for "love" but most people if they were honest way deep down, they're looking for "true love." Without truth, love is worthless. Though this may be a radical viewpoint, I don't think it's possible to love someone and lie to them. Love is the reciprocal of trust (inversely proportional). If I love someone, they probably trust me equally to how much I love them and vice versa. If you don't trust someone, you doubt their intentions of good-will toward you and don't think they have your best interests at heart, while if you trust someone completely you believe they love you completely.
That's important to understand in the realm of marriage. If you don't trust your spouse, then you doubt they love you. If they don't trust you... better check yourself and see if you really ARE loving them. If not, then pray for God to help you love... which we should actually be doing all the time anyway.
Bottom line: if both people in a relationship are truly loving each other, divorce won't even be mentioned as a possibility. The trick is to get it right the first time, being genuine with each other and treating love as a deep commitment instead of as a shallow emotion. People who are able to do that are sadly rare I think, but God isn't limited by that at all. Trust him and love others in truth, and you'll be set. "All you need is love" isn't quite right; you need truth in love.
I've enjoyed reading what both of you have had to say.
"Why doesn't anyone take marriage seriously anymore?"
Why doesn't anyone take the giving up of their self life to follow Christ seriously anymore?
The presence of Christ within His people IS THE FOUNDATION of marriage.
Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." = Unless the LORD builds our very lives, we (as builders) build in vain = Unless the Lord builds our marriages, we the builders, build in vain....
The "house" spoken of above represents our identities, lives, marriages, churches and anything else individually or corporately built by anyone - with Christ or apart from Him.
Christian marriages reflect our relationship with Christ...or lack of.
very well put, and I agree with both love and marriage not being taken seriously. Love has been so diluted and cheapened in our society to mean that happy emotion when when things are going well. I don't believe that a couple falls out of love, rather they were likely never truly in love in the first place, it may have been infatuation, puppy love, or attraction, or whatever. The phrase I Love You is often used flippantly with about as much meaning behind it as saying I like you. Whether it's said because we think we should say it, or we think that's what someone wants to hear, or we say it to see what the reaction is, whatever the reason... IMO if you can't say I love you from the heart and mean it then you should not say it.
Sadly marriage has also been cheapened and people marry divorce and remarry for pretty much any reason these days. Look at Hollywood it's like who's marrying who now, who's getting divorced, who's cheating on who, it's a showcase of how our society treats the sanctity of marriage. Easily entered and easily dissolved. There is no longer that stigma and the danger in that is that it only makes it easier for people to separate what God has joined together. People get married for the wrong reason or rush into it because they want to be married. They think they are in love but when true love and a strong faith is not the foundation of the marriage when hard times come many of these marriages dissolve. As with our lives if we are not building our foundation on Christ the solid rock then all other ground is sinking sand.
Unfortunately this is very true. But unfortunately divorce is needed sometimes. My parents divorced and if they didn't my mom wouldn't be alive today. Both my parents are much happier. Us kids are much happier as well.
People do use I love you too often for everything. Which is why I am only trying to say it when I am telling my friends and family I love them and instead say that I like an object instead of love an object.
There are only three reasons (the three A's) I would divorce a man:
1.Adultery
2.Abuse
3.Addictions
The first two, I would not hesitate. I won't tolerate my future husband cheating on me or abusing me or our children in any way. This does not mean I can not or will not forgive. I would, eventually, but that doesn't mean I have to stay married to a man who does not respect our marriage or me enough to treat me how God tells a husband he should. There are certain things even God doesn't allow in a marriage.
The third is conditional upon their willingness to seek counseling and help. If they are unwilling to admit they need help, or take steps to get better and turn their life back to God, then what kind of Godly life and marriage could we possibly have? At what point does such a thing make us unequally yolked?
Ultimately, I would have to seek God and His will. If he told me to stay or to go, I would have to obey Him first above all else.
