Author	Thread: Saving yourself for marriage.
Admin	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 01:25 PM I was wondering if anyone else out there has been "called out" for it. I have had over 10 guys message me saying that saving myself is respectful and that they are interested in me a lot, but they get discouraged when they see i'm a virgin and they are not. I just don't know how to reply...help! haha Post Reply
View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 12:20 AM Whatever you did in the flesh already happened. Even if someone was previously not a virgin, when they became born again, they are now a virgin. A person's life does not begin when they are physically born, but when they are Spiritually born. A new creature, A new life. Anything before has died and is no more. Post Reply
luvinjesus319 View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 10:08 PM Those were some very wise words! I completely agree. The Bible says we are washed of our sin.... it doesnt rule out certain ones. I always find this to be interesting conversation with my friends and other Christians.... I am saving myself for marriage. I am a mother. I lost my virginity before I got married and was living in the flesh and became unequally yoked. My ex husband ended up having an affair and leaving for the other woman. I already have peace with how God feels about that... BUT I didnt know how to function as a divorced woman. The Lord called me to purity and I have done so word, thought and action for the last 4 years. I have heard everything from how can I think I will be seen as "pure" being that I was married and have kids to how can I wait without getting even on taste of the chemistry before I get married.... My only answer is, What I did in the past was not right but it is forgiven. What happened is also forgiven as it was what he did not me. God says its sin to have sex outside of marriage and I dont want to "joined" with anyone but the man I marry in any sense of the word. I saw what happens when you do things the wrong way and never want that again.I have enough FAITH in the God who created and loves me that He will make that part of my marriage special and exciting! A man of God, will never want to stumble the woman he loves and lead her into sin.... so when the RIGHT man comes along for me it will not be an issue. It may be hard but will not be a deal breaker! Post Reply
aceets View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 12:33 PM I'm with bcpianogal on this one. I expect nothing less then what I myself am willing to offer when it comes to sexual purity. As for God having forgiven those who have had sex before marriage, you may rest assured that this is absolutely the case. However, while they may be forgiven, sins have consequences, hence baggage. And one more thing, the fact that God forgives sins does not mean that we should compromise on our morals or on the standards which are set by him if we by grace (yes by grace!) have been able to live according to them. Blessings Aceets Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 22 Oct, 2010 11:50 PM I am a 26 year old virgin. I have never had a girlfriend but no that's not why I'm still a virgin..probably part of the reason but honestly my being a virgin is based on the morals and standards that were instilled in me growing up in a christian home. I have been "called out" on it and by both Christian and non-christians alike. Non-christians seem somewhat confused by it while Christians seem more likely to joke about it...I'll admit these Christians have demonstrated a sense of immaturity but it still hurts to be mocked by fellow Christians. I do get tired of the "virgin ears" jokes. I do feel like my "lack of experience" has also hurt my chances with several women because they are looking for someone that while...isn't out having sex all the time with whomever, they do seem leary of me because I haven't had sex, that perhaps my lack of sexual experience means that I don't know how to treat a woman...so I guess to answer the original post...be yourself and if these guys aren't willing to accept who you are and the things you stand by then let them know you're not interested. Post Reply
View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 3 Nov, 2010 08:16 PM Monica - Seems like a man would be encouraged to know you were a virgin! If they are discouraged, that tells me they are probably not of the inclination to wait for marriage. The man God has for you will be proud of you for this. :) My grandma was a virgin when she married my grandpa, and he was always quick to tell people the story of how they met and that she was a virgin. That is something I definitely regret that I strayed in college, but can't change it now. Post Reply
View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 6 Nov, 2010 08:23 PM I myself have been called out and friends have praised me that I am waiting until I get married. I am finding out latley though that when I tell guys I am waiting to be married when I lose my virginity they act all interested for a few more days and then I never hear from them again and it just proves my point 98% of the time that guys are really only after one thing and that they are not marriage minded and I begin to wonder if I will ever find someone who has the same beliefs as me. I know god has a plan for me though so im confident in that..... Post Reply
View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 12:53 PM I have also saved myself for marriage. This is something that is really important to me, and while I don't automatically write off any guy who has not waited, I do hope very much to find someone who has also waited. I agree with a lot of what has been written here, about God teaching us to be more loving and open and changing our hearts, but also not compromising our core values and morals. I know I am not willing to compromise mine, and of course anyone who makes someone else feel pressured into doing something they are not okay with doing is not right for that person. For me, while I don't doubt that I could get to know and love a man, even knowing that he had not waited, I would still really hope to be with a man who has. This is a hope I have carried in my heart, and talked with God about a lot. I know He knows how I really feel. I am not perfect, and I do not expect the guy I one day hope to marry to be perfect either, I sometimes just think, as has been mentioned before, that I don't ask anymore of the man I will be with than I have asked of myself. I have waited, and I hope to find a man who has as well. I have become interested in guys who have not waited in the past, and despite praying, and despite knowing that I cared for them, I felt uncomfortable about it still. I found myself wondering if I ever did marry someone who had not waited, if they would remember other times they had been with other girls, even just in the back of their mind, and unconsciously that previous experience would be present. So, I have come to realize that even though others may think I am uptight or too picky, it's better for me to wait until I find a man who has waited. I don't say this in any judgement of others, and I don't expect everyone else to agree or feel the same way, but I know myself, and I know God knows my heart, and I will trust Him to help me and know that in His timing I will be with the right man, if He wills it. Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 08:58 PM Eelhsa I don't consider you to be too picky. It's something that's important to you. I've heard of a few situations where a person married someone that hadn't waited and it ended up being a problem in the marriage. Post Reply
last_unicorn View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 10:45 PM I applaud you for your good morals, which is very rare nowadays. I too am waiting till marriage. It has been extremely hard, and sometimes I wonder if it has been worth it. I know if I had gone all the way already, I would be married by now. Sad, but true. I always thought it would be nice to find someone who is also waiting. That way, our wedding night would be extra special for the both of us. It's discouraging when most Americans have had pre-marital sex, something like 95%, 93% before age 30. It makes me sick that most of the guys who have pressured me for sex were Christians. I always thought Christians were supposed to wait till marriage. I hate to say this, but a lot of Christians don't wait, which is sad. I personally only know of 2 Christians who are virgins waiting till marriage - my 2 best friends. My childhood friend has been celibate for over 7 years now and is a born-again virgin waiting till marriage. If a guy (virgin or non-virgin; religious or non-religious) respects my decision and is willing to commit to me in a loving relationship, I know he would be the one for me. Keep being you, as you will eventually find that special guy who will respect you for your beliefs. You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. Post Reply
View Profile History	Saving yourself for marriage. Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 10:44 AM �I was wondering if anyone else out there has been "called out" for it. I have had over 10 guys message me saying that saving myself is respectful and that they are interested in me a lot, but they get discouraged when they see i'm a virgin and they are not. I just don't know how to reply...help! haha� These guys have probably been judged for not being virgins by people who still are. It is always admirable to save yourself, but there are a lot of reasons people do not make it. Some people are not Christians their whole lives and therefore have mistakes in the past before they came to God. Some people are raped or molested and therefore do not feel like �virgins� and do not consider themselves as such. A lot of people who have maintained their virginity have the attitude that they do not want anybody who is not, no matter what the circumstances. To refuse somebody because of past sin, in my opinion, is wrong and judgmental, because we have all sinned. The guys that send you these messages probably want to know your attitude about non-virgins, so I would say that you should let them know your stance. You can give them a polite �No thank you, I�m holding out for a virgin� or tell them you respect their honesty and will give them a shot. Past experience and rejection has probably made them feel like they are not good enough for a virgin, so they are hesitant to jump right in. Post Reply

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