Author	Thread: How far is to far?
EssenceofOcean View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 6 Sep, 2010 07:39 PM Hello all! To those of us who are trying to live a Christian life and are dating, or want to date someone..how far is to far in your relationship? I do mean in a physical sence; where do you cross the line and say, "Ok, this is far enough.." We all know as men and women our sexuality.. and our desire for the flesh is very very tempting.. and believe me I can respect that and understand it. However, I personally have made a promise to God and myself that I will not have sexual intercourse until I am married. However, I am fine with kissing and holding one another. I do realize that this can lead to other things. however that is where I believe God fits in to this equation. For with God all things are possible. What are everyone's thoughts on this? Regardless of your past..for when you have become saved all things are wiped clean..you have a new slate a new beginning. God bless, and have a great day! Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 7 Sep, 2010 03:03 PM I had a friend who got married and both had the same boundaries of no kissing until marriage.The comment she made to me thought was not to do it... she felt like she married her brother or something. She felt like she/they missed out on excitement of a newly married couple in that area because they had worked so hard before hand to not do anything... just another perspective! Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 12:07 AM I know this may sound extreme but for me wedding kiss is first kiss (whoa!) I dun want to gamble and I am not that sure that I would be strong enough to resist the temptation. Also, 1Peter5:8. If you think you are strong enough, then go for it. If you doubt yourself, my suggestion is just never gamble ;-) Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 12:23 AM I think that Rachel brought up a really valid point. For me, physical/sexual intimacy is something that must be eased into gradually. It would be very difficult to have not kissed prior to the wedding and then all of a sudden be going all of the way on the honeymoon night. I would hope to establish a comfort level of affection, closeness, and a bit of intimacy (like kissing) before the wedding. Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 9 Sep, 2010 05:16 PM HOW FAR IS TO FAR? should we really be asking this question? i believe and have many friends who feel this way,that we should as MEN treat Women as sisters in the lord, how would you interact with your sister do you kiss your sister? do you cuddle with your sister? do you hug your sister? do you have sex with your sister? the answer to most of these should be a resounding NO!!!!! with the exception of hugging, i hug all girls, though if it is a girl i am attracted to i try to avoid hugging, because even that can be tempting, my flesh wants to hug, cuddle, kiss, and have sex, does that mean i should do these things? absolutely NOT!!!!i think these passages show us how we are to act as christians Eph 4:17-24 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. and also 1Cor 13:11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. i feel as MEn we are called to live to this standard, it should not be the woman's responsibility, but if the man does not live up to this then he is not worthy of your love!this may be harsh, but i think this is the standard we as Christians are called to feel free to comment or send me a P.M. about this B.I.C.~Anthony Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 13 Sep, 2010 06:26 PM i think it should be discussed by the couple, because all people don't have the same limits. i think there is a certain point of being in a relationship means you learn about each other, including snuggling, kissing, but there have to be limits. and to give u an idea, most guys that have tried to stay true to the "not before marriage" as for me, i agree that sex is definately a no, but closeness is almost required so people as well as the couple realize they are a couple... Keep each other pure by not sneaking off alone is a good plan, if you wouldn't do it in front of people is a good guideline... too much for an audience is a good way to judge how close how fast u are going... Post Reply
View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 15 Sep, 2010 07:59 AM I already been into that far but not totally far coz while I'm in that situation I never forget to think God. That's why I able to say no going too far. . I never plan to be in that situation but maybe with God's permission to satan to tempt me. I been test and I have passed that test..by not going too far. Post Reply
clong56 View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 15 Sep, 2010 10:01 AM I always use the reference that God/Jesus is watching whatever I am doing. This goes for dating as well as any decision in life. How far is too far when God is around? I agree that some people are more susceptible to certain sins than others but when we set our own limits sometimes we do not draw the line in the right place. Paul stated in Acts 24:16 "This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men." This was Paul's defense before Felix, the governor of Judea. Always keeping God as the person who might or might not find offense in what he is doing will help make the right decision in any situation. Post Reply
nehwdogsyas View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 09:08 PM Very well said. Post Reply
nehwdogsyas View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 09:15 PM Very well said Tulip. Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	How far is to far? Posted : 1 Mar, 2011 10:38 AM I think the whole institution and concept of dating is too far. We get in this mindset that every good looking person out is a target- "I wonder if they're single;" "oooo... that person is fiiiinnnne." We have our heads in the wrong place. It's the relationship in general, the friendship, and the facts about what both people want in life, that are able to make a marriage be ultimately fulfilling or not; and no wooshy gooshy feelings of infatuation are necessary to find those things out. Just being a friend to someone and getting to know can tell you if you like the same things and if you really enjoy each other's company or not. And after so long, when it appears apparent that you both work well together as friends and as people, then the topic of whether or not both parties are interested in making the relationship a permanent one where children might come into the picture can be discussed and decided upon. People haven't experienced enough what loving relationships in life can be like, especially between opposite sex friends, and so they don't even realize how much they might be missing out on if they are labeling some guys as "don't even bother talking to them" and others as "marriage potential." They miss out on God's kind of love in general, and miss out on happiness and blessing because they are so focused on trying to find "the one" that is supposedly going to make them happy. Some people have finally realized that one person alone isn't capable of filling all the holes and needs we have in our lives. So again, imo, dating, as the typical american definition goes, already puts us too far physically, because our mindset has become inappropriate toward the physical side of the relationship and how we view what it is supposed to be like. As far as physical acts within a relationship, I would say intentional making-out for sensual pleasure reasons is appropriate, petting is inappropriate (stroking either the other person's body or genitals to sexually arouse), and obviously the actual sexual acts and anything intended to bring the other person to orgesm (had to change the a to e due to filter) would be inappropriate. Again, one has to ask why a person is doing those things. Probably because they get a "feel good" out of it, a release of chemicals in their brain, or they know the other person is getting a feel good out of it. But the thing is, there are safer and more beneficial ways to get feel goods like that, liking learning how to give each other massages with at least one other friend in the group learning as well, or going out and doing physical activities (maybe go to the gym or swim together), or simply doing nice things for each other or working together to do nice things for random people or in a ministry. All of those things can be bring senses of pleasure and satisfaction to people. Post Reply

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