Author	Thread: How to help a friend???
stormcountry33 View Profile History	How to help a friend??? Posted : 9 Jun, 2010 10:35 AM I need some advice on how to help a friend. I have a friend who is like a brother and his mom is like a mom to me. His mom I'll call Jean has been married to "bob" for roughly 17 years. Bob is not the biological father of Jean's son "Bill" who is 21. Bob and Bill have never had a good father-son relationship and to tell the truth. Bob has felt like Bill has attempted to take over his household. Bill doesn't see it and doesn't understand why Bob has all this resentment. This last week, there was a big fight between bob and bill and now bill is not taking his family over to visit jean becasue of bob and the fact that he got a little physical. Nothing major! jean's health is not good and she suffers a lot of physical pain and therefore it is difficult for her to get out and about. She lives to be a grandma and now she feels her grandchild slipping away because of this situation. bill has told her "it is either bob or me". she can't afford to leave bob and a part of her still loves bob but wishes he would change certain aspects of who he is. However she also wishes that bill would see or at least try to understand bob's thoughts and where the resentment comes from. I'm supposed to go talk to bill sunday and I don't want to disrupt our friendship but at the same time I can see the pain this is causing jean. everytime she tries to talk to bill about it she cries and he refuses to talk to her. What can I say to him to help him see what this is doing to his mom. she has already had another grandchild taken from her because of another bad realtionship between her step daughter and bob. she swears she can't loose another one. she's not suicidal but it is definitely killing her. What can i do? Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	How to help a friend??? Posted : 11 Jun, 2010 10:11 PM Ok that bit of info can really change things. Either Jean put Bill in between them while he was growing up, as can happen, or Bob is childish and saw things that weren't there. I can see the first happening because many times a single mom puts her children ahead of the new husband. I believe this is the wrong way to do it. The husband still comes first and you both do what is right for the entire family not just the kids. I would lean more towards what BC stated and add that Bill along with the rest of the family need to start REALLY praying for Bob. If he's not saved or is a "cultural christian" someone needs to start working on him, and it shouldn't be Bill because Bob shows no respect for him and would just throw it in his face. Post Reply

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