If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he
doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your
intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not
meant to be. Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man
was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is Don't stay because you think "it will get
better"You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them
pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.Maintain
boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.Never let a man know everything. *He will use it against you later.You
cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...Even if he has more education or in a better job.Do not make him into a quasi-god.He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.Never borrow someone else's man.If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the doing all the bending...Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage...Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for
someone to COMPLETE you...A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful:
Dr. Phil says You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing.
If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts...
niafransisca:I know this is odd: a complete stranger giving you detailed instructions on how to change your life. But I hope that you will not feel judged by this reply. I saw the way you asked for help, and I knew that I should offer what I could in the way of advise. The kind of change you are looking for is huge, and needs some real dedication.
I did a study on verbal abuse (the most common kind, and the one most often leading into physical violence). The causes are really very simple: The abuser doesn't know how to identify, let alone communicate, his or her feelings. When the victim tries to address the issue, frustration only grows, until the abuser lashes out at the "source" of that anger: the one who is trying to help. Each situation is slightly different, but the rules that apply to real personal change are universal.
1st: get out of that relationship. It's hard, but it's necessary. If you bring harm to your partner, then something is wrong, and until you fix your own personal issues, it will only get worse. Give yourself and your partner a time frame--say, 9-24 months--to resolve your separate problems. If you have grown some during that time, maybe things can work out. If not, maybe it's good to let each other move on.
2nd: seek help. God can be all things to us, his children, and he makes all things possible. Pray, but don't just stop there. Actively seek the knowledge and advice of pastors, counselors, friends/family... ...whoever is helpful and up to the task.
3rd: follow through. Keep a daily Journal to help you reflect on the day and the things you struggled with. When you don't know what a good measure of behavior is, go back to scripture. Remember,
The fruit of the Spirit is: Love, Joy, Piece, Patience, Kindness,Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
The Word is God's Love letter, a list of instructions for living in his will and finally in his home with him. Your relationship with God is the first one you need to repair.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to write a reply for my situation. I didnt feel judged in anyway. It touch my heart that a complete stranger would really make the time to advice me as a sister in Christ.
We finally break up n decided not to see eachother (dont have time frame though) Yes u right, It is really hard for me. Since weve been together for almost 6years now. Part of me say that i can change my emotional situation, that it was just "me having a moment break down" (because i am a really nice person or else we wouldnt b together for 6years) but the other part also know that during the process, i would eventually hurt him more :( n might end up make him a bitter person.. Its really hard, i dont want to lose him. And im sure he knows deep inside, im really a nice person.. :(
I learn a phrase here "wounded people wound others, hurt people hurt others" n i start thinking maybe i have a bitterness or maybe i also have been verbally abused as a child. My mother was really "hard" to me, my sister n my brother. She oftens beat us or yelling at us everytime we make mistake. And i see now the reflection on my 2yo niece (daughter of my sister n she lives with my mom n i). She often kicks people or pinches people and even bites people when she was angry at somebody. If we ask her why she does that, she cant explain n start crying. And for my brother, he had his divorce a few years later ..
i think we are having so much bitter in our heart that we cant deal with our emotion and our relationship towards people we care about.. :( it is really a sad situation..
I remember when my brother was a child, he had to go to the "shrink" and the report says my brother suffer a depression because my mom was "hard" on him..
I dont want to blame anyone for my emotional state. I guess im old enough to seek God and seek help. But sometimes i feel lost..
And whether or not my emotional state was because of what my mom did, i hope that if there is a parent or parents to be that reading this post, please dont be so hard to your children. Please...
I'm happy that you see the need for change. A sin can become a generational curse. It takes determination to break the cycle and the curse with the help of Christ. And I'm happy that my post came across as helpful in the way I intended it.
