Author	Thread: Over-bearing Parents
Admin	Over-bearing Parents Posted : 2 Dec, 2011 11:40 AM Thank you to all who have taken time to read my cries for help! I am in desperate need of advice! After High School, I wanted to attend a University. I had Straght A's, plenty of activities, someone was bound to accept me. But I didn't even apply to any of the Universities I had been looking at, because my parents convinced me to go to the Community College near our home. I was born and raised in BumpAss, Virginia in the same house too. I am extremely unhappy! I feel so stuck. I want to go out and see God's beautiful creation! I will graduate from my Community College in December 2012, but that's not close enough. I can't stand another year here, I have no freedom. This isn't the first time they've convinced me to do something I didn't want to. Everytime I listen to them, I end up unhappy. I did what I wanted once in my entire life and it turned out perfectly. I'm still not sure what I want, but I've thrown some ideas out to them and they threatened to cut me off. I have no job, no money. I don't know what to do. I just want to be happy. I keep praying to God but I haven't heard an answer yet. I just want to get away. Post Reply
View Profile History	Over-bearing Parents Posted : 9 Dec, 2011 08:40 AM I had a very similar experience when I turned into an adult. I feel for you, I do. You are going through a rough time right now, and this is a Christian site. As fellow Christians, we need to be supportive and not critisize! You don't know what other people have to go through until you've walked in their shoes. I have worn your shoes before. My parents were also very controlling. There is nothing wrong with you making certain decisions because you were trying to be a good daughter. I did everything my parents wanted for a long time and was also unhappy. You should be proud of yourself for having the guts to tell them you were unhappy. I didn't, I pretended everything was fine. They paid for my education and I got a law degree. Then I secretly went behind their backs and earned a agriculture degree. I worked for a law firm until I earned enough money to buy a farm. When I told my parents what I had done, they also cut me off. My parents and I havn't spoken in since then. I am loving my life though! I couldn't stand sitting in an office or in a court room all day. Outdoors is were I belong. I'm making a third of what I was, but I'm happy! I hate to tell you this, but I want to warn you. If you do what you want, your parents may not speak to you for a while. Even though I love my parents and miss them, going behind their backs was the best thing I ever did. I wish I would've done it sooner. "Honor your mother and father" is a good commandment, but I really feel like God wanted me to do this. So many things went wrong for me while I was at the firm. But everything in my life has gone so well lately. I have had so many, what I consider, signs from God that this is where I'm supposed to be in my life. Don't wait to start a happy life at 30 like I did. You need to do what you want to do, God will lead you to your path he has made for you. You should try to acquire some money first, but after you do, just run away and see where the Lord takes you. That's what I did, and I am loving life now. Trust in him and he will lead you where he wants, and where he knows you'll be happy. It's not your fault that you're unhappy! You're just stuck in a sticky situation which I am confident the Lord will help you out off! My prayers are with you. I wish you the best! You are so young, make the life ahead of you a good one! Post Reply
redeemedrachel View Profile History	Over-bearing Parents Posted : 14 Dec, 2011 12:54 AM Wow, your mom said that? That's a terrible thing to say. I will say, though, that even though community college may not be every student's dream, it really is a good (in most cases) investment. You/your family will save a lot of money by getting your gen eds at community college. That's what I did, and I'm so glad because my debt will be so much smaller now. When you're ready to transfer to a four-year school, you can automatically receive some good gift aid for having good grades at community college. Also, while you're there now, I strongly recommend joining Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society (which you should be able to do if your grades are good). It costs $65-70 (somewhere around there), but many four-year schools will give you extra aid just for being a PTK member. My school gave me $7,000 for having a 3.9 GPA in community college and an extra $1,000 for being a PTK member. Anyway, while I hope my college advice helps you, it sounds like the real issue is the relationship you and your parents have. If there's always a lot of fighting and threatening, you should try to talk to a pastor or other trusted older person. If that's not feasible, then you're probably just going to have to stick it out until you can support yourself. I guess your other option would be to temporarily quit school and try to make as much income as you can--and if you make enough, move out and live on your own (that is, unless you can find someone else to take you in). Of course, this involves much more financial/material hardship that might be impossible for you to bear. Hope things get better for you soon. Keep seeking the Lord. Post Reply
View Profile History	Over-bearing Parents Posted : 16 Dec, 2011 01:55 PM Tank you to all who took time to reply. I appreciated most of your posts but there were some of you that left me in tears. I came here seeking support, advice, comfort, and love and some of you deeply hurt me! God is the only one who has the right to judge me! My actions don't please all of you, but that's ok. All I should care about pleasing is the lord! Yes, I have made certain decisions in my life that have resulted in my unhappiness now. But I always had the intentions of being a good daughter! I didn't understand why some of you had to be so mean. I wish to have no part in this site anymore. God Bless. Post Reply

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