Author	Thread: Honest but messed up!
Admin	Honest but messed up! Posted : 15 Dec, 2011 06:47 AM What can you do when the person you are dating tells you the bitter truth about his/her past? Will you condemn them? Or will you distance yourself from him/her? I asked this question because some people think that "somethings are better not said". This bothers me because i have always thought that honesty and transparency are very important in a relationship. Does any body think the same? Post Reply
19sarah90 View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 15 Dec, 2011 11:46 AM I believe that honesty and transparency are musts in a relationship. To reveal one's past means to reveal a deepening trust in the one to whom you are opening up to. There is no better feeling than that of being forgiven and accepted by your relationship partner. Post Reply
View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 15 Dec, 2011 01:05 PM I'd disagree; everyone messes up at some point or another, and there is a day when all these things will be made known to all by the accuser, but today is not that day. If it's in your past, not your present, then why bring it up to someone who wasn't involved because they *will* judge you for it, even if only in their mind. You don't need other people to judge you, nor should you invite them to, because there is already One who will judge all, so walk in the forgiveness of God's grace and "sin no more"... Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 15 Dec, 2011 05:49 PM I personally believe that it is best to be completely honest about your past. Perhaps not in the first message, or even on the first date, but if you have something in your past that you are pretty sure will bother someone, you need to share that. Your past can come back to haunt you no matter how much you feel you have moved on or changed. If/when that happens, you don't want to have to do all the explaining then. Of course, there ARE some things that are better left unsaid, but it sounds like you are talking about something more major than stealing a pack of chewing gum when you were 5! Post Reply
EverythingMe View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 16 Dec, 2011 12:03 AM I think that you should be both transparent and open as relationships thrive off communication and knowing what you've been through etc helps your partner understand you more. But i believe you have to accept that person and let go if you wanna be with them or end it and not drag it on. The past is the past for a reason, and unless that person is perceived to still partake in whatever, then you should leave, but if they're reformed why punish them? Post Reply
View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 16 Dec, 2011 09:04 AM Yes, everyone has secrets they would love to keep but we should know that certain things will not be hidden forever( Luke 12:3)! so it is better to tell him or her the bitter truth yourself before he/she finds it on their own. tell the truth and it shall set you free(John 8:32) and hey leave dishonesty to those who know nothing about Christ. be blessed!:applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 16 Dec, 2011 10:22 PM Our past is a part of our testimony! In revelation its says we defeated Satan by the word of our testimony and by the blood of the Lamb. Hallelujah! I believe it's wise to not share all things with just anyone, but to let someone know where you were or once was and who you are now because of Christ is awesome! Post Reply
View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 19 Dec, 2011 10:10 PM Well, try to think of it like this--would you rather be blindsided down the road by it, or try to deal with it right away? I would want to know about the dark past sooner than later, but some people might be different. Post Reply
PaulC View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 2 Jan, 2012 07:40 PM As Christians, we are believers in a Faith of reconciliation and redemption. As followers of Christ, we are called to look beyond another individual's past and focus on their present and walk with them toward their future. We all carry baggage. We all wear scars. We need to be loving and accepting of one another in order to be comfortable with and feel safe in being vulnerable with each other. It is through breaking down the walls that we've set up and removing our masks that we truly get to know each other and grow in our relationships with one another. Post Reply
View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 4 Jan, 2012 07:01 PM Thank you guy for posting your comments here. am glad that most of you are supporting the idea of honesty-i believe that honesty/truthfulness is one of the fruits that christians bear (mathew 7:16). so let us say 'somethings are better said and the earlier the better' instead of "somethings are better not said".be blessed Post Reply
bookwatcher View Profile History	Honest but messed up! Posted : 5 Jan, 2012 11:32 PM i had a friend who asked a shrink that once. they were told that it is better to keep things in the past. the other person doesnt need to know about mistakes you've made in the past. what you have should be based on things in the present, not things of the past. tho for me, if someone asks i wil answer unless its about something i consider very private. i think we all have things we dont want to talk about and that should be respected. we dont need to know everything about each other to know one another. Post Reply

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