Author	Thread: Utter Devastation
Admin	Utter Devastation Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 04:40 AM So I met someone back in January on a different christian dating site. It was long distance but he reallly made the effort to make sure we saw each other. We talked every day.I met his family he met mine etc. He had really become my very best friend. He was going through some very difficult legal stuff with custody/visitation stuff and I was there for him with all of that intervening with prayer and support. He asked me to marry him and of course i said yes. We had to figure out details of who was moving where, jobs, etc. 4 days ago he tells me that the relationship has become a burden to him and that he needs time to heal from this so could we just be friends????!!!! Talk about being blindsided? I am sitting here in utter shock and devastation. Now the conversation that led to this statement is this in a nutshell: He called me, I had to call him back. No answer. Hopped online, saw him on facebook. Messsaged him. No response. Messaged again. No response. Just normal message, Hey sweetie, tried to call you. Give me a call kind of stuff. So I text him later. No response. In the morning, I get online to check my messages. He signs on. I say good morning sweetie, how are you feeling(he hadnt been feeling well) no response. I call him and leave message, hey are we OK wondered what was going on that you are ignoring me. I wont keep calling or texing i will wait for you to call and let me know if things are ok. No response. 5 hours later he calls, stays on phone about 3 minutes, says he is really sick and sounds like he is going to throw up. I tell him to go and get some rest and call me when he is feeling better. Hour later he is on facebook. So I ask him if he is feeling a little better, responds no. So i say thats awful why arent you resting? Suddenly the ship quickly sinks. He replys what do you mean by that. I reply sleep.LOL says he slept all day and never speaks to me again. logs off and tells me through a text he is tired of being treated this way and that I accused him of being a liar and a cheater. I never said anything like that at all. I still have no clue what the heck he is talking about. Not sure how a question are we ok translates into you are a liar and cheater? He told me he I have caused him to turn cold toward me and that he needs time to heal from this and can we just be friends. Men????? Is this an admission of a guilty conscious?? On a side not, we did have a conversation earlier in the week where he told me that when he is online playing games, on facebook, etc, all the convos he has with women (hello? why talking to strange women online? lol) turn to a sexual nature. I responded that I wasnt sure why that was because I hadnt experienced that. I asked him why he thought that happened. He got a little bothered that I had asked him why he thought that happened? Have tried to keep nature of relationship as close to scripture as possible but it did anger him ( although he is a christian) that I wouldnt allow him to live with me if we werent married and that the sexual aspect of it had to be kept in check as well. We had our struggle in that area and it wasnt easy. He told me that he didnt share my feelings on feeling guilt of sexual relationship with him outside of marriage, although he told me when we first me that I had to understand that we would not be having sex unless we were married and that he didnt drink or smoke. I was really relieved but he didnt stand on that conviction and he told me I was hurting him by rejecting him. So anyway i know this is long but I just dont understand how one person can devastate another person so abruptly and never look back. Quote scripture all day long and then do this. Maybe his statement that I accused him was really an admission of guilt? I just need support from christians through this. I am just broken. I really thought that God had brought me this man. Right now it is so hard to even pray about it because it just hurts. Thanks guys for reading this lengthly post. Post Reply
View Profile History	Utter Devastation Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 04:27 PM So sorry that happened to you! You did not deserve it. Very similar things have happened to me with men I've met online. They are NOT CHRISTIANS. Despite what they say. They are players --- they play at being in love, with multiple ladies. They like all the up-front lovey stuff, the fun stuff. They are not in it for the long haul. They are NOT Christians. They know what to say, they know all the right phrases, but they can't sustain it over the long haul. You can spot these men by taking it slow and waiting at least three months before comitting to anything. If they are players, they will lose interest and find a way to end it. Thank the Lord He spared you from that man. I'm so sorry this happened -- I know how hard it is. Post Reply
View Profile History	Utter Devastation Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 09:54 PM MAN'S REJECTION = GOD'S PROTECTION Sounds like he couldn't keep his act up any more. Sometimes relationships just go too fast. Best to be friends first and then take the relationship up a notch. I feel for you though, because its happened to me, too. All is not lost if we learn from our experiences. Matt 7:16 We shall know them by their fruits. Post Reply