Please pray for me

Posted : 27 Jun, 2012 03:43 PM

I dunno whats wrong with me. I got a good relationship with Jesus, got a Church home, got Celebrate Recovery, got many friends who I think of as family and who I love, got many prayers warriors including you who pray for me, got my new father figure who I now call Papa and yet I still feel a craving, a yearning for more love, attention and focus. I brought this to GOD. I wanna fill this void I have but when I try whatever I try fails and when I try to ignore it I get depressed. So I gave GOD a list of what I want and I wanna share this with you. I know this list is totally selfish and wrong but I can't help it it's how I feel... So here's the list...



I want more focus and attention. I wanna hear encouragement. I wanna hear someone tell me that I am more than an awkward weirdo or comic relief. I want someone to really see some sort of potential in me if there is any and gimme a little push. I wanna hear from someone that I'm accepted and that they would do anything for me. I wanna hear someone tell me that they will protect me, guide me, lead me and teach me and have them actually do those things. I want someone to always be there for me no matter what. I want someone to help me and listen to me and always have time for me. I want someone who will come with me to Church, CR and the coffee shop on Friday's and actually wanna be there with me and enjoy it with me. I want someone who can calm me down when I have meltdowns and who understands and accepts my autism. I want someone who will always be there for me. I want someone who will give me their full attention and focus. I want someone who is intelligent and has GODly wisdom and can give me good advice. I want someone who would call me their fav daughter. (Papa can't do that he's got other daughters.) I want someone who will hold me and give me hugs all the time. I want someone who will not only provide what I need but would spoil me as well. I want someone who is a prayer warrior who would always pray for me weather I asked for it or not. I want someone who have like a zillion ways for me to contact them and would give me all zillion ways to do so. I want someone who will always accept and love me and encourage me always. I want someone who has a good, quirky, weird sense of humor and can cheer me up when I'm down. I want someone who will start going to CR and work it or who is already in CR and working it. I want someone who will not feel sorry for me no matter what. I want someone who would never ever control, hurt or abuse me in anyway shape or form. I want someone who can be stern and correct me when needed to. I will also need to see all that and experience all that constantly...



That's the list. I know it's selfish and wrong but that's what I want and how I feel. I just don't wanna crave and yearn for all that anymore. I wanna be fullfilled and I dunno why I'm not yet. Please pray for me.

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