Something hit me the other day and it was a very rude awakening. A lady that I met on this site whom I had barely communicated with (because she rarely came on) sent me her email address and told me how much she liked my pictures. Wow, and on top of that, she was so beautiful! She must be interested in me, I thought. I promptly sent an email to her and surprisingly got a very quick and friendly response, along with some pretty pictures of herself. At this point, I was on cloud 9 or 10. I had not asked for her email nor her pictures, but she sent both! She must REALLY be interested in me, I thought.
So I sent off another email with my pictures from this site (but full size) and asked her to let me know if the pictures arrived okay. I never heard from her for an entire week. So I sent a "howdy" letter. Her reply revealed what I had suspected. She gave a number of excuses that she had been too busy with this and that and finally ended with this line, "You're so far away anyway!!!"
She had never mentioned the pictures that I sent her. It became clear to me that my full size pictures were not what she had anticipated. In other words, I fell short of her expectations. She simply did not find me as attractive in the larger pictures as she did the smaller versions. The pain of being unceremoniously dumped was minimal as our relationship had never developed anyways.
But that's when it hit me. After 2 1/2 years on this site, I've come to the conclusion that meeting in person is the ONLY SURE WAY of knowing if two people are meant for each other. Pictures, web cams, and emails fall short of connecting two people in body, soul, and spirit. It is SO important to meet in person. Then one can know for sure if there really is chemistry.
How many people have experienced connecting with someone on a dating site, and baring their heart with each other. Everything seemed so right. They communicate by web cam, email, and text messaging for two months, and when they finally meet in person, the man confesses "I feel no chemistry for you." A precious lady shared this exact scene with me not long ago. She was crushed beyond measure and it broke her heart.
So let's hear from you. Can dating sites find you a mate? What wisdom have you gleaned from your experiences? How soon should two people meet in person?
I think dating sites CAN find you a mate. I have friends who have met their spouses online, and their marriages seem to be great. I don't know that it is the perfect way to meet someone, though, and I'm still hoping that I'll meet that special guy the "old fashioned" way.
Wisdom that I've gleaned and how soon should two people meet...don't put too much trust in someone until you've met them in person, and meet as soon as you are comfortable doing so. As long as the relationship is online-only, they have nothing really invested in that relationship. You also get an "idea" of who that person is, what he or she is like, etc. Sometimes that idea is very different from what the person is REALLY like. The sooner you can meet and spend time together, the sooner you'll know what the person is actually like.
Well I don't really know if two people can find love in sites like this.But this one seems to be different than other "Christian" sites I've been to.Some people just don't understand that when you say you are a Christian that you really are a Christian.Living and breathing.Which means that my life has been altered,interupted you might say.They don't understand.
In here although I still find some questionable I see alot more who could be.But like Paul says,not till you meet do you really know for sure.And still time is needed.
I will say you seem to ask the Right Questions :applause:
My experiences with dating sites is that a person can be whomever they want to be & Deception is High Online.
However, if one doesn't tell the Truth it will be known in person. With that in mind, why in the world would a person be so deceiving?
I have met men who claim to be taller, younger, or something they were NOT! :laugh:
I finally decided that if the Man was willing to meet the sooner the better than later I would agree to it :yay: That way not much time was wasted on this person to only be Disappointed!
I actually talked with a man for a couple of months only to be Disappointed when we met :(
Hi Charlene. You make some important points about dating sites: "a person can be whomever they want to be & Deception is High Online." A very good reason for all members to be cautious no doubt.
"With that in mind, why in the world would a person be so deceiving?" . . .good question. Who would like to answer that one? My feeling is that most people (including myself) want to present their very best image. No lady wants to be seen in curlers or without makeup. No man wants to show his sagging midsection or his wrinkles. :rolleyes: We are so vain. Perhaps "honest" pictures of ourselves would be a good beginning to make dating sites more effective?
I certainly would agree with meeting someone "the sooner the better" after one has determined that person is safe and trustworthy. I do find emailing and web cam can help determine if that person is worth meeting. Sometimes if enough questions are asked and enough information is shared, one can determine by that alone if one would be interested to meet.
But then, how do you deal with the impractical side of internet dating? For instance: someone lives 2,000 miles away and you simply cannot afford to meet in person? I know of one lady who posted in her profile that if you cannot afford to come to her town to visit often and put yourself up in a hotel . . .don't contact her.
Thanks Charlene for sharing your insights.
And thank you also Carolyn for sharing your thoughts
We have pray and hope God allows the RIGHT person to come into our life.
There are soooo many facots in a relationship. 2 people have to like each other and get to know each other and maybe fall in love. :hearts:
I know that the type of youn lady I desire is VERY rare.
I hope for one woh is slim, in her 20s. part of a GOOD church, and ( here come the part part) does NOT want children.
( I know that it is not fun talking to a "faceless" person. I do have a pic, but because there are scammers on this site I do not want to post a picture for ALL the world to see.)
Yes. Dating sites find you a spouse. How do I know that? My brother.
My brother went online to find a wife (a christian site) and met some women here and there, but one girl caught his eye. So he messaged her, and she messaged back... a week later they messaged again, then a few days later messaged again! So they decided to share photos. After that they went to personal email addresses... some days later they began to Instant Message... a few days later they began to webcam. They kept this up for 4 and a half months (both far away from eachother, impossible to see in person). Finally, he drove a Long way to meet her and her family. They met and went out with her siblings and he stayed for a few days to get to know her in person.
After returning home, the again went back to the routine of webcamming, calling on the phone, texting, IMing, emails. 2 months later he asked her to marry him. She said yes. They have been married for 8 years with a beautiful 1 year old little girl AND they she is pregnant with a son due in october! Oh, they are so inlove, so perfect for eachother, each are close with the others family.
Datings sites give an opportunity to go out from your city to another state, another city and find someone specifically for you. Back then it was common to find a spouse at dances, bars, clubs, church, etc... now in this era of technology, dating sites give this opportunity! Its not for everyone as you have to have a level head to be on a dating site and know EXACTLY what you want. But these are my thought! :)
what I think is God is the one who find us a mate.dating site is only his instrument to help us.thats why if you and your chatmate dont work,maybe God does`nt want you to be with that person.because shes not right for you.God have the best person for you.the one who will accept you for what you are no matter what.we dont know.maybe he God is just preparing us for the best.If you and your chatmate dont work continue to be online and add some prayer.the best person will come.surely,God will give it to you.
Yes, they can. If two people are ready for a relationship and are honest about themselves, yes it can. But most important it needs to be approved by God. So both need to pray and listen for His answers.
If it is meant to be and God wants it to happen it will. If it isn't meant to be, (meaning not approved by God) then it won't. He knows whats best for us, even though we think we do.
As much as we get disappointed by not finding the right person, it may be because we are trying too hard or we are spending too much time into 'finding the right mate' instead of spending more time with the Lord.
God has a plan for everyone, we need to learn how to listen to Him and accept His answers. God promises His blessings to those who are obedient to His word.
