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Do you long for a loving, supportive wife? Are you a gentleman in God's eyes?
Posted : 26 Dec, 2010 01:56 AM
Guys, I had to write this because of some interesting experiences I have had on this site.
I'm a good Christian girl, and I'm having a hard time finding a spiritually mature, true Christian gentleman. I know they exist, because my friends have such as husbands!
I�m not a prude in any way, and I'm told that I'm very attractive. I understand the battle with sexual purity that we all deal with in the flesh. All the same, I�ve chosen to be chaste and follow godly principles in dating. I was divorced five years ago when my husband left the marriage for another much younger woman, and I�m just now starting to date. So the man for me will surely be a 100% committed Christian man who puts God first, and an old-fashioned gentleman.
By old-fashioned gentleman, I mean specifically, you�ve grown out of making sexual jokes regularly, and you�ve grown into a place of character that respects women as God does. A gentleman doesn�t pressure his date by talking about kissing, he allows this stage to occur naturally over time, when he senses she is ready. Because he understands that a girl wants to keep herself pure for �the one".
An old-fashioned gentleman also understands that it takes time for a good girl to discern, without a doubt, that you are the one: i.e., the one that God sent... the one that actually does strive to have and give unconditional love. He is a real man, a strong leader, a responsible provider who has already prepared a home for his bride, an affectionate and caring man (but definitely not a feminized man), a man who knows how to love a woman like she wants to be loved (and who will therefore receive all of the respect and adoration of his wife). All good things that are worth attaining take time, so gentlemen know to be very discerning about their wife to be, and therefore, move slowly in relationships to be sure they have all of the details before making any life-long decisions.
It's truly sad that on a website that is advertised as being solely for Christians, I have to qualify what being a gentleman in God's eyes really means... guys, you wouldn't believe what some men think is gentlemanly behavior, and then try to twist scripture to condone their actions.
My brothers, I know this sounds judgmental... but it is truly a loving plea made from a discerning heart: If you really want a beautiful, mystical union with a woman (as God created marriage to be), then please do as God wants, and strive (practice, practice, practice!) toward perfection in love, as God calls us all to do.
From the time we are little girls, we women dream all of our lives for a man who truly loves us. That's the key. That's why a true Christian woman easily puts God absolutely first in her life, because we long to be loved for who we are, and the love we can give to others. When men (and women!) fall in love because of their focus on a person�s physical attributes, they are often missing being part of the most astounding mystery, beauty, and joy of true oneness in marriage.
So partner with God to work on how deeply you can love and forgive... for God's glory and His pleasure. If God happens to give you a graceful and supportive woman to complement and support you before heavenly eternity, then that will be icing on the cake.
But don't fool yourself, because you will only be displeasing God, and also, diminishing your quality of character and rewards in heaven.
Having said this I know that some men might see me as a woman who expects too much from a man, however, this isn't true. I know from my own walk with the Lord that learning to love unconditionally is a daily striving and battle with evil. It's about the submission to God, repentance, and continual hatred of our sinful nature and joy over our victories. When a God-fearing woman sees a man who is honest with her before God for his battle with the flesh, and growing little by little in his victories, she is not only proud but strengthened to run to his side and support him against the enemy who comes to destroy us.
Thank You, Jesus, that Satan does not have this power, and with You, he flees from us with his tail between his legs.
(Stepping down from her soapbox, she quietly yet unashamedly moves on.)
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