Recently, I had the audacity to send a lady on this site an email after noticing that she had just posted a picture of herself in a bikini. I will not argue the fact that the picture was very alluring, but something else bothered me. Why would a beautiful woman who claims to be a Born Again Christian display her body in such a manner on the internet for all the world to see?
I'm sorry, I find it offensive that a Christian woman who is looking for a husband would display her body in such a manner. I certainly would not want my future wife advertising herself this way. "As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion" (Proverbs 11:22).
Yet judging by her angry letter, perhaps I was wrong and the woman was right: "Not my fault men like you can't get past their own flesh."
So lets have your views ladies and gents on the subject of "Women and Bikinis" on a Christian dating site.
You are a beautiful lady, but you have diminished your beauty with the display of your bathing suit picture. It contradicts everything in your profile: "As for me and my house we shall serve the Lord"
"that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel...which is proper for women professing godliness" (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
Why would you even think of clicking onto my beach shot
Please with the holier than thou
Do U really think women read your blah blah blah novel profile
A whole lot of ridiculous nothing
No one would ever finish that in one sitting nor would want 2
Boring!
U R not clever or righteous by any means
Cast your stone somewhere else idiot truck driver & film maker
That is laughable
There is a reason U R single
I advise U get a dog for companionship
nothing worse than a jerk who spills out scripture with a bunch of nonsense and stupid icons
I am listed on more favorite lists than any other woman here
Perhaps it is your own lustful thoughts Exam your own perverted thoughts and convict yourself
God made my body and I work hard to maintain my good health
Only a man like you can take that and twist it into something impure
Repent and do not view my profile again
Do not respond
I am not interested in your foolishness
A true man of GOD can view my profile and find beauty only
Your thoughts go past my intent
You are disgusting for thinking such things of my pic
I do serve the lord and I spend a lot of time on that very beach with my pocket bible.
Not my fault men like you can't get past their own flesh
I would have to cover up so U don't get excited
That is your sin not mine fool
Again Exam your impure thought to a peaceful shot of me at the beach DON"T pervert an innocent pic
That is your mind not mine or real men of Christ
No other man on this site made your comment
The problem lies in your lustful eye So U R the Hypocrite
Best you gauge it out as scripture instructs so U can enter heaven
Good Luck I'm glad all the obese women who wear turtlenecks have a shot with you
HA I bet U would Never date an overweight girl
So Again Who's the HYPOCRITE
U
Don't look at my profile or pics "MY DEAR"
Move onto Large unattractive women who contact U b/c God told them 2 U cannot turn down a woman if she emails U even if U find her not appealing Make sure U listen to GOD now and date them Being that U only want a good heart yeh right!
Make sure U don't go to the beach U might end up in hell for having such perversion in your heart
I'll tell ya, bro, I'd guess 50-60% of those on this site aren't Christians @ all. They sure seem to have a form of godliness and deny the power thereof. We're to turn away from them. "Christian" smokers. "Christian" drinkers. That's why I preach so hard against american Christianity. There's nothing to it.
You're spot on w/ your observation. But don't expect much love on here. You'll be called legalistic b4 long, mark my words.
I have a mixed view about this. I think that a loving Christian woman should consider the effects of what she wears and dress mercifully. I also think that the men need to deal with the problem themselves, more than women need to dress modestly to let men avoid the problem. I mean...it's kind of like an alcoholic demanding that all alcohol be removed from his sight. It doesn't get rid of the problem, it's just avoiding it. And in the case of modesty, only christian women are going to even try to be modest, so christian men still have to deal with "seeing" the "worldly" women. So I think that men need to deal with the problem themselves and find the strength to change their heart/desires, but I also think that christian women could be a little merciful/considerate to men in the way they dress. In the case of this "bikini girl", I'm not sure it was too cool to post her email, but she is definitely a little...unmerciful/prideful....to say the least. It's actually so outrageous that it doesn't seem like it could be real.
I think I am with Mark here. I'm on the fence here.
First, email is such a one dimensional communication method that it becomes incredibly difficult if not impossible to convey a tone of voice. You may well have had every right intention and a right attitude, but another person can read that completely different. So a first email to someone suggesting they are dong wrong is going to be very hard to pull off.
Second, would a picture here be any different than the actual beach? If it is wrong for someone to post a photo here, would it be wrong to dress that way on the beach? Just a thought or question to toss out there.
Third, I think there is a balance. Like Mark said, men have to have a little control. Don't look at photos like that, don't go to the beach, run from those situations if it is a problem. BUT, women also need to not be a stumbling block in the sense of how they dress to such an extent it creates problems
Fourth, I don't know the balance between legalism and grace. I see people at church who, in my view, start dressing rather inappropriately. Dressing a little provocatively, branding themselves with sports teams clothing, wearing "colors", etc. I mean what is the persona we are trying to create or put out there? I'm not trying to create laws about what people should wear but I think people should reflect upon what they are putting out there.
Lastly, I don't have a real problem with posting what others wrote as long as that person is not being identified. But I do think her post showed her real attitude, certainly lacking any mercy or humility or love and certainly contained a large amount of pride.
I find myself full of sorrow to the point of tears right now. I am unsure exactly why I am crying. What you wrote about her and to her is heavy on your heart. You are troubled by your feelings, yet convicted by the Spirit. Her response was ugly, and she was obviously hurt and offended. Those who have shared here are aware of the fine line between judging and using judgment.
Sometimes as a woman, I want to stand out amongst all the others here, in church, even at the grocery store. I don't want to show off, and I don't want to draw vile attention to myself; I just want to be seen as Christ sees me. In my lack of faith and loneliness, I yield to the enemy's whisperings that I am alone as a punishment. I am awkward, unsure of what I have to offer, say stupid things, rely on my own logic (which is totally illogical), all along KNOWING in my heart I am nothing greater than how my Father views me. In my weaker moments, I forget that I am a daughter of Christ first.
I believe that our young sister just feels the need to single herself out in this crowded field, and she has relied on a gift the Lord has given her. It has obviously worked. Her words were written in a moment. She probably felt some shame, but not by the photo she put forth, but by your response. I can guarantee, many who saw her felt the same as you and several probably wrote something similar to her. She was indignant because you looked and appreciate her physical beauty. She was defensive because you admitted her displaying of herself troubled you.
Many of us are here hopeful we can help God help us "find" someone by expanding our exposure. So she is not your type; you are not her type. But your convictions have brought you to the front where many sisters shall be able to meet you, perhaps for the first time. All for His purpose...
Friend this is not passing the buck. It is the total opposite.
The Apostle Paul did write that women council young women and men council young men.
As an older man you message was not received because of your age.Most young women think old guys that write such a message are sickos. Do you see my point. I am 43 years old friend.I went back to school and hear how young christian college girls talk.I have done projects with them and know how they view older men. Women correct women and men talk to young men. See my point here.
In regards to her dress, like Dennis said, women should be the ones who correct other women in regards to dress, unless the woman's father steps. And it always should be done with much prayer and consideration.
Should women dress like that, no. But considering how our world thinks, many young women do not understand how men view them. The fact is, we do not live in a Christian world, but in a very secular society that declares whatever you want to do is all right. Even many churches have taken up this view point.
So while it is sad to see this tolerated on a Christian site, it will not change until Christians ban together and refuse to allow it to happen. That means men, you are going to have to refuse to look at the profile of someone you consider dressed imodest, and refuse to respond to those who communicate with you.
