I guess the reason I'm here is that I have dated some very nice looking Christian women in my life, but they seem to fall short of what's important on the inside. They seem to derive their pleasure too much from worldly things. And, I maybe wrong, but, do I want my wife/SO to dress so that she attracts the wrong type attention of everyman she meets? It makes me uncomfortable and quite frankly hurts. Is modest a dirty word nowadays, even for so called 'Christian' men and women? I am the kind of guy that will go out of my way, not to look at another woman. I also try to follow I Thes 5:22 by knowing my weaknesses and avoiding those scenarios in which I might be tempted, as well as avoiding doing or being in places that could 'look' bad even if they aren't.
It is also very hard to find other men to be friends with, because when together I find their banter about sex and women make me uncomfortable, so I usually end up a loner, go figure...
Are there any REAL Christian people out there that feel that the relationship between a man and woman is sacred, wonderful and PRIVATE. Has anyone ever noticed that the relationship between a man and woman is a parallel to the relationship between man(and woman) and God?! Or am I just messed up in the head?
Sorry if this sounds angry, but I really am dealing with this in a real way in my life and I need some input from other Christians. Maybe the immediate input I am getting is from luke warm Christians, I don't know.
Are you a minority? No worse: you a alien, and if you listen to satan ; a illegal alien! (1Peter 2:11)
No you are not crazy in the head; Eph.5: 25-33 . Surely you kmow the verse ; love your wives as Christ loves the church, ring a bell?
You MIGHT be putting to much on a mere human. After all if you found the most Godly perfect wife it would rob you of the opprotunity to practice 'Grace'; something God wants to perfect in you!
Nope, you're not the only one. If my future wife walks around with it all hanging out, I would be worried. I know for sure that it wouldn't be me that was asking her to do it, hopefully she would know I'm a big supporter of humility/modesty(not to the "amish" degree though), so there are only a couple reasons she would be going over the top: Pride and/or dissatisfaction her husband and his attraction to her. Neither are good, and it would probably make it easy for men to pick her out as an easy target. All they would have to do would be to play along with what already existed. Feed her pride and get her to believe the idea that her husband doesn't/can't appreciate her.
Believe it or not, this is an issue that many Christian Women become irritated, how to look modest in today's fashion. Fashion designers a lot of times do not take in the view points of all women, and many times, when they do design modest clothes, they tend to look dowdy.
And it's not grown women or teens. I've also heard mom's complain that they can't find clothes that does not make their 3 years old look like a 20 year old.
So, it's not just men who have problems with it, but also women too.
@ Wesmith...Welcome to the Forums an you hit the nail on the head...lukewarm...still of this world an of its ways...2Sparrows gave Eph scripture right fine...Its Real Good to hear the Gents perspective is right with GOD...Keep the Faith Rollin an Love Yall...xo
Dowdy is a woman dressing in a way that makes her look older than she is and also hiding all shape on her body. Maybe Google has a better definition, but that's mine.
I grew up a "paddle board" christian. Meaning, a church that "everything" was a sin; to include playing basketball with unbelievers. We didn't cut our hair, shave our legs, wear makeup, wear pants, nor bathing suits, wear earings, bracletes; our skirts were below our knees and measure at the entrance of the church by a female usher.
When I married a young minister he wanted me to wear pants, and make up. It was with him that I learned to wear a bathing suit and jewelry and cut and style my hair. I thought all my life that was a good change for me because I kept modest.When I reached my 50's he wanted me to wear low cut blouses when we went out and short shorts and more makeup like eyeshadow (I only where eyeliner, light mascara, foundation, blush and lipstick). I kept telling him that I felt uncomfortable dressed like that because I felt it was an insult to him that I provoke other men to stare and possibly lust after me (I didn't want to stand before God and be guilt of that). He said to me one day that he liked the thought that I turned men on?? I was shocked at this statement. I responded: So is this how you react when you constantly stare at other women? He said, No. From that time on it was obvious to me that my husband could not find delight in his wife unless he was turned on by another woman. Did this hurt? Very much so. Because my eyes and heart and desire were only for him. Am I an alien for feeling this way?
We seem to agree on so much. I feel the same way about a relationship between a man and woman. It is a spiritual relationship designed by God and is to be carried out in the way God said it be carried out. That is the only way a realtionship will truly work! I have not dated in two years because I cannot find a man that takes the instructions God gave us to heart. I will not date until I find a Godly man for I know that for a relationship to work you must be with a Godly man. God revealed something to me not long ago. I wonder about a lot of things--and one day I was wondering why God used Adam's rib instead of his funny bone, femur, etc. I was so amazed at the revelation God gave me. I plan to write a book about it titled--From the Rib of Man. I have written one book titled--The Dying Wish of Jesus Christ--another concept revealed to me--I feel by God--in a Bible study.
So my answer to your question? If you are a minority--so am I!
Praying you have a wonderfully blessed day filled with sunshine and laughter!
OK... I haven't been back to check responses in the last couple of days. Honestly, after re-reading my post, I got a little worried at the response that might be coming. But, I don't feel so bad now...
@newlife
Hmmm, sounds like you went to the same school/church I went to in Hammond Indiana. It was a fundamental independent Baptist church. I had a CDL and drove a bus every Sunday there...
No, you are not alien and yes I can see that situation being more than just hurtful, but an end to everything you held dear and sacred in your husband. A betrayal of all you thought you had. A similar thing happened to me. I wont go into it, but it had the same affect.
I think your post also brings up a good point. Infidelity. There are more aspects to it than just the physical side. I believe there is physical, emotional/mental and 'time' parts to it. Flirting for example I think fits nicely into the emotional/mental piece of infidelity. Emotional infidelity in a partner is also hurtful. I don't think that when God said that 2 people become 'one flesh' He just meant the physical part of love. It's two beings/souls becoming one, emotionally, mentally and of course physically. And what about life goals and pursuits? How many couples grow apart from each other because their lives take different paths? I mean it just goes on and on how interwoven a man and woman's life become/should become when they are made 'one flesh.' And since marriage is a parallel of Gods relationship to us, how much more should our lives be interwoven with Him?! Obviously God has made the relationship between a man and woman more important and sacred than we can comprehend that volumes could be written and pondered about it so I will just stop ranting and leave it alone... Sorry
