Thread: Baggage...Does it serve a useful purpose...
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Baggage...Does it serve a useful purpose...
Posted : 8 Aug, 2008 04:41 AM
I keep hearing the term "I don't want to date someone who has alot of baggage!" I've seen this posted and heard the term on and off...I would be interested in hearing what this term means to other people and where it fits in our Christian perspective. Is there truely anyone without baggage...I have a nice piece of "carry-on!"
For me personally, "baggage" is the same as "drama"! I don't have a lot of "drama" in my life and I don't want someone bringing a whole lot of "drama" into my life.
For example...I am a single mother and there is a lot of..."baby's daddy's" or "baby's mama's" that like to cause problems for whatever reasons between the person they share a child with and the person that's dating that person. I have never understood that...but not the point.
My sons father and I are were not right for each other, we didn't work but we make our "parenting" relationship work. So, we have a common friendship in that area. I don't get into his personal life and he doesn't get into mine...yes, we have met each other's gfs, bfs. But we do that so we know who might be around our child...but we don't cause problems.
I could be looked at as "baggage" to "her" if I was constantly in their business. This is just my personal opinion for now...it will be interesting to see what other's say.:peace:
I look at baggage as not the same as drama. Baggage to me is the situations that you went through with others in your life that now shapes the way you look at future relationships. And I believe this can be helpful. For instance I knew two Christian women both went to church every week one was a decon.
Now she was very nice and we chatted about 3 months. Then I found out through talking about differant situations that she has no problem haveing an X- stay at our house (while we are married) for a week of vacation so he can visit their daughter. She worked 1st. shift & I work 3rd. So this of course no way flys with me! So that relationship ended.
Now the other women taught Sunday school, went to church every week & Bible study every week. But she did not agree with putting her man second to God in her life, nor did either of these women believe in saving sex for marriage! That to me is a date/relationship ender.
So Now it helps me set my standards to the degree that I will attract TRUE Christians. I would rather stay single then settle and pay the price for yet another divorce. Baggage has sharpened my disernment more then I can say and I am all the wiser for that. Praise God!AMEN:yay:
I have read all the post and I do understand what every one is saying, however I do not call it baggege I call it past and that what it should be, behind you and not lingering in our minds.
You see what a lot of people does not know is the devil once he see that you are living a life for christ he will try and steal your joy, but as christians we should not allow him . By writing our profile and putting the word ( baggage ) in there tell one that you have been there,lived it or you have encountered it before and is still not over it. We need to speak what we want into our lives and the lord will give it. That also means writing it and no one who is not pass that stage (baggage) will cantact you. it works for me.
I don�t get back here maybe as much as I should to find that knight in rusty armor :waving: (ok so I�m no spring chicken and he has to have a bit rusty too�. :rolleyes:) I spend most of my time on CARM or trying to find a publisher. Anyway, this section caught my eye and I had to say something. (I was never one to keep quite � but I do in church! ;-) )
I�ve seen the term �I don�t want to date someone with a lot of baggage� also and those I rush right on past. Mainly, because I believe (from experience) these are the ones who have not learned from the past and try to ignore it as though it never existed. Trouble with that is, the past is a part of who we are today either by: A) our acceptance the past for what it is and the lessons it taught or the corrections made from it or the forgiveness given; or B) still stuck in a mud trying to run from it; or C) (and this is the drama and �poor poor me�) keeping the past in front and refusing to change the things one can � ourselves.
Often, when we take a look at the past, there is something there that can help another person who finds themselves in much the same predicament we were once in. If we have taken a look at that section of life, brought it to Christ for healing and understand, we can then offer an educated listening ear and direct that person toward healing Grace. We try to ignore it, or wallow in it, there is no healing or understanding. Facing it head on is the only way I have found to keep the drama out, and ignorance at bay.
I like what Robin said with the �carry-on� which is about right. With the drama and ignorance cleaned off, it�s not so heavy and makes just a �nice piece of �carry-on�� I figure the ones who have faced their past and accepted it for what it is, won�t have to mention that they don�t want to date anyone with �baggage�. After having been there themselves, they will be able to spot the drama queen (or king) and the runner trying to run from the past by ignoring it. And, who knows, maybe that one who is into drama (and doesn�t know how to get out of it but desperately wants to) or the runner (hoping there is some place to rest if only they knew where) may very well be the one to help toward a brighter future. :yay:
