A very sensitive topic. I have a couple (no pun intended) of questions about this and us being christians.
1. What can we do as a christian society to curb the divorce rate that is among us?
2. Those of us that are divorced or separated; what advice can we offer to singles and our married friends off site that haven't had to experience this terrible thing called divorce?
Ex20:14 (the 10 Commandments) does not say, thy shall marry; it says thy shall not ...
(I do not know the right English translation but in my mother tongue this bible verse states: thy shall not break (in) a marriage)
God�s Law is not to be broken. So when we cannot break a marriage, it means that we have to be extremely cautious with whom we marry.
Not in all cases in the past, people have had a free choice to chose their marriage partners. Some were forced into it because they were pregnant. Others were simply thrown together and a significant number just walked to the altar because that is what one does when being in love.
The funny thing is that both churches and society are really pushing people towards marriage, mostly to avoid the sex before marriage. On the other hand, that same church and most of society are judgemental when the married couple have to face a divorce.
I truly think that we should instruct our young christians to really take time in finding out if they are right for eachother.
The sex before marriage issue will always be under siege, and also has and will be disobeyed, but personally, I would suggest that it keeps a matter for after the marriage.
What churches and society really should not do is ring the wedding bells after two and a half kiss in the park and have people drag eachother to the altar because we all have to make sure that there is no sex before marriage. God says something about a marriage not being broken so that is what we should focus on. By focusing too much on other morals and ethics we might just contribute to another divorce.
Now as to my own marital status, I still do not know whether to file for divorce. I still believe, as I believed when I got married, that God has set my husband apart for me.
I am very much in prayer about this as I may "know" that divorcing is wrong, I also "feel" that staying married is not an option anymore.
I believe that God will answer me and that my separation gives me space and room to seek His voice and hear Him out. I do not mind telling you (whoever you are out there) that it is really difficult to submit to His Will when my own will (a divorce) seems so right. One thing I will do though. I will take my time!
And to cut a long story short, that is exactly what young christians while dating that special person should do: take time. Today, people have a free choice in selecting their marriage partner. Then "all" one has to do is really being sure that as a couple you will work out fine. Let us not "help" these young christians by waving the wedding rings in front of their noses, but give them space and room to really figure out whether they were meant to be.
yes, a sensitive posting whereowhere... yet I feel the need to answer.
I agree with riveroflife with what she said about keeping your eyes on God.
Don't rush into marriage. Pray for help in finding the right mate for you. I think God should be the center of the marriage and home. Start as friends first, get to know each other, and see where things lead to.
In my case, I tried everything I could to save the marriage... but I was the only one trying. Money is the root of all evil - he was putting his needs/wants in front of us/our family... and he broke our vows by having an affair. I could write more, but I rather leave that in the past. I'm trying to better myself for my kids and my situation.
I don't know that I answered what you were asking us whereowhere, but I think as long as the marriage/home is Christ centered... if God brings you to it, he'll get you through it.
A very sensitive topic. I won't touch on those who have been divorced, but to those not yet married I will say view marriage as a three way covenant, one that is between yourself and God and your partner.
Do not view it from a worldly perspective because then you will set worldly standards for how to act in it and they don't line up with biblical standards.
Please, please, please, don't take it lightly and as others have said, go into it with the mindframe that there is no way out.
I think at this point I have to say LOVE. Love more than your desire to be loved. Love Christ enough to want your relationship to honor and glorify him above all else. Love Christ first and put no one above him, not even your spouse. Allow Christ's love for you to complete you and then your partner's love to enhance you.
Understand what a marriage signifies, it is an example of the relationship between Christ and his bride the church. I'll sound "old fashion" here, but men love your wives and ladies submit to your husbands. I could write all day on what these terms "love" and "submit" mean, but I'll allow you to study them yourself. Just remember Christ loves the church and the church...is supposed to...submit to Christ.
If we want to change the divorce rate we have to change the church. The church no longer believes they are a society with a social order. The idea that there are governing powers in the Church is not the way people see the Church. The leadership is given the right and responsibility to both counsel and discipline those who do not follow the Word even to the point of making them leave and not letting them back in until they come back to living their life righteously. It never happens.
Here's an example from my own life. It's not about divorce but rather the passivity of church leadership.A year and a half ago my mom and i went to the pastor of her church. The reason was because her husband has been abusive. I suggested to her that we talk to her pastor about it and ask him to intervene on her behalf before he got hurt. After spending an hour with him he refused to do anything if her husband would not voluntarily come to him for counseling. I told him he was not following the instructions of Jesus and he didn't seem to care. She went to the police instead.
If church leadership won't teach the truth and enforce the commandments of God then divorce will always be an issue in the Church.
Oh, and as long as Christianity is the religion du jur for many people then there will be no sincerity in the commitments the Christians make.
It is best to take the stigma off of divorce and move on. Divorce happens, it is in the bible, it is part of life. Like any death it needs a time of healing and grieving to move on.
Legalistic teachers try to make out divorce is a sin. but the bible never says it is by itself a sin, though it is usually caused by sin.
It would be better to define marriage and what makes it work than to focus on divorce as some kind of guilt trip. :dancingp:
I just want to make a clarification here, my post is meant as a deterant from the worldly attitude many people have that "oh, I can get married, try it out, and if I don't like it, I'll just divorce and find someone else"
I have a friend, with a "Christian" mother, who told her son, "why don't you just marry your girlfriend and try it out, if you don't like it you can get a divorce" Sadly this is a real attitude MANY "believers" have.
I'm not judging or condemning those who have been divorced, every case has to be looked at individually. However, the bible sets restrictions, so don't fool yourself into thinking all divorces are legimate in God's eyes. Satan is the prince of the earth and the king of deceit, so arm yourself with Truth in Jesus Christ and God's word. Study it diligently. He, not I is your judge.
People can be redeemed of their sins, but that doesn't always mean you get to have your cake and eat it too. Sin reaps consequence whether we like it or not.
Walk in the Word has an excellent sound biblical teaching on divorce called "what does the bible say about divorce" I highly recommend it.
I do feel for those whose marriage didn't turn well but it's hard for me to understand the fact that there are so many divorcees on this Cristian website, looking for a new partner.
I can't agree with your statement (that Bible does not say that divorce is a sin). To the contrary, Jesus Christ says it in a quite explicit way!!! Read Matthew 5:32 "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery".
