Author	Thread: engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think
panj View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 29 Jul, 2009 12:31 PM Ok, so my best friend met this great guy from the netherlands almost 2 years ago online. She has seen him about 5 times in the past years, and those times they stayed together anywhere between a week to three weeks. (just some background there) 2 weeks ago, he moved here to America, and she had previously got a apartment they where going to live in when they got married. Anyhow, when he got here, he began to stay in the apartment, my friend decided she would stay at my apartment during the nights, so she would not be sleeping there. I thought it was a great idea. So we set up a bed in my living room, and I slept on it and give her my bed. I had agreed not to worry about them "messing up" and she had agreed to stay at my place at night... anyhow, the first week he was here, she stayed the night with him one night. I texted her and asked her that night around 2 am where she was. no answer, so i left it alone and the next day she told me she fell asleep on the couch. Knowing her as well as I do, it was hard to believe, but I let her tell me that anyhow. Then 2 nights ago, I had spent the evening with her, and when we returned to our apartments (btw, i live RIGHT NEXT DOOR- in the next building) I was walking to my building and she walked to hers where her feince is living. Anyhow, I felt in my spirit that I should ask her if she planned on coming to stay at my place that night, but ignored it and let it go, because i wanted to give her the benifit of the doubt. So around 4:30 am I woke, and was very upset to see she wasn't there. I was more upset I hadn't gone with my gut earlier. So I texted her and asked her if she was staying with him all night and told her i was disapointed and sad. The next thing i knew, she came SLAMMING into my apartment, turned all the lights on, and started to scream at me. Telling me i was selfish for waking them up and texting them in the middle of the night, and it was non of my business. Anyhow, I felt bad after that happend, and told her I was sorry for texting her that. It was a really bad fight. She actually pushed me at one point. Anyhow, that next day, i got a email from her that said she was just going to live with her feince, and if she had to she'd get her marraige licences signed early. I highly doubt the pastor will do that, but thats what she said. I pleaded with her to not do it, and to wait until they got married, which is only a month away - well 6 weeks. Anyhow...I guess my question is, what would you do in this position. If it was your best friend. she didn't want to talk to you about it, period, and you KNEW she was out of Gods direction for her life. I'm lost. I have not said anything to anyone about this, but i am very sad, and haven't been able to eat for the past 2 days because I am so upset about this. any advice please is welcome Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 29 Jul, 2009 02:16 PM No matter who you are, having your sin called out puts you in the defensive. Being in the defensive makes you angry. Your friend knows she's in sin. And knowing that you wanted to help her, she's happier to place the offense at your feet and to blame you. What do you do? Pray. Read Scriptures. Pray some more. At all times, you are an ambassador of Christ Jesus. Your ministry is reconciliation; just remember that making good on that reconciliation is the problem of the Holy Ghost. (If you want to get to the root of the problem, your friend was too eager to be married to begin with. Instead acting with faith, she took the immediate reassurance of a man she met in a far away country.) Matthew 18 finishes out your responsibility to Jesus in this matter. If you can say that you've loving reached out to her, called out the sin, and she still chooses sin over Jesus; you're off the hook. Not very reassuring, huh? If she sins several times in the day and returns each time asking sincerely for forgiveness, give it freely. While she's obedient to Satan in her fleshly desires, do as Paul did in 1 Corinthians 5. Doing that hurts, a lot. However, if she's a Christian (and she might not be) then the Holy Spirit will get the best of this situation in the long run; and if she's not, then your love is more important in her open sin than it was before. Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 29 Jul, 2009 02:20 PM dear panj, you did the right thing. you were just the messinger and wouldnt of mattered who the messinger was shed of prolly exploded on them.. as shes feelin guilt and mad at her own self for cavin in.. as from what you describe it was not innocent goins on goin on there.. you did your part.. now its up to her what she does.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 29 Jul, 2009 04:48 PM Pray for them.. that is the best thing that you can do for them.. GBU bethany Post Reply
panj View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 31 Jul, 2009 04:06 PM Thank you all for your advice and prayers! God has taught me through this whole thing, that if people will not listen to mans counsel, that you must lay it down and allow Him to move thier hearts! God is in control, I am not! Jesus is amazing, and I have such peace now! :) Thanks agian every one! Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 31 Jul, 2009 05:31 PM dear panj, glad you got some peace girl.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 24 Aug, 2009 06:53 AM jutst lay it in Gods hands God will take care of them I know it hurts to see a friend fall into any temptation of any sort but keep asking God to help them and aks God to give you peace :waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 02:04 PM All you can do is pray really. I would have told her the same thing, and I also would have expressed to her how I felt about it. At the end of the day you can't force someone to do things, all you can do is tell them, hope they listen and if they don't continue to pray. Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 22 Apr, 2010 08:43 PM Personally, you should tell her my story. When I was out in the world I let one of my male "best" "freinds" live with me. Well, I had feelings for him, I don't think he knew it at the time. Anways, I told him one day when we went for a walk. We got together and became boyfreind and girlfreind. Well, we did some things we shouldnt have done. I got pregnant and when I told him about it he became a monstere. He changed. Everyday he was horrible to me, or at least most days. Then he just left. But it was then God found me and changed my heart. Post Reply
View Profile History	engaged and living together -- please let me know what you think Posted : 12 Jun, 2010 01:05 PM You know what. Give her advice then step back. She needs to choice for herself. Post Reply