Here are 12 reasons why this is a wicked statement:
1. No place in the Bible are men told to control women or husbands told to control their wives.
2. This heinous view comes from a place of ignorance about what God says about women and your wife.
3. Such a perspective is not about loving your wife. It’s about arrogance and lust for power.
4. It often comes from an authoritarian, power-over viewpoint that tends to be abusive. Too many men use this dogma to justify all kinds of abuse and domestic violence.
5. The power-over approach is always about the person in charge and not about the long term well-being of the wife.
6. To believe that “control” will make her or the relationship a good one is a devilish myth.
7. When others say you must control your wife, control almost always means forced compliance.
8. Forced compliance of your wife is never taught or condoned in the Bible.
9. Forced compliance is counter to the character and way of Jesus.
10. Forced compliance conditions the wife to be a subservient slave to any who exercise power-over methods in relationships. The Bible says she is equal to you and not a slave in any way.
11. Research shows that wives who live under forced compliance are traumatized. In short, it is abuse.
12. Attempting to control your wife does not influence the wife in a way that positively impacts her heart so she will flourish in life or in Christ.
Couples who are in churches that promote the power-over subservience of women to men or wives to husbands are at risk for many problems in the marriage and family. Such churches are often unhealthy because they are typically emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually toxic. Such churches do not build up or promote true Christ-like relationships.
Wives who are pressured into forced compliance would be wise to seek good counsel or therapy outside the church.
The more intense the power-over forced compliance the greater the need to escape.
Ever hear that? Ever say it?
Here are 12 reasons why this is a wicked statement:
1. No place in the Bible are men told to control women or husbands told to control their wives.
2. This heinous view comes from a place of ignorance about what God says about women and your wife.
3. Such a perspective is not about loving your wife. It’s about arrogance and lust for power.
4. It often comes from an authoritarian, power-over viewpoint that tends to be abusive. Too many men use this dogma to justify all kinds of abuse and domestic violence.
5. The power-over approach is always about the person in charge and not about the long term well-being of the wife.
6. To believe that “control” will make her or the relationship a good one is a devilish myth.
7. When others say you must control your wife, control almost always means forced compliance.
8. Forced compliance of your wife is never taught or condoned in the Bible.
9. Forced compliance is counter to the character and way of Jesus.
10. Forced compliance conditions the wife to be a subservient slave to any who exercise power-over methods in relationships. The Bible says she is equal to you and not a slave in any way.
11. Research shows that wives who live under forced compliance are traumatized. In short, it is abuse.
12. Attempting to control your wife does not influence the wife in a way that positively impacts her heart so she will flourish in life or in Christ.
Couples who are in churches that promote the power-over subservience of women to men or wives to husbands are at risk for many problems in the marriage and family. Such churches are often unhealthy because they are typically emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually toxic. Such churches do not build up or promote true Christ-like relationships.
Wives who are pressured into forced compliance would be wise to seek good counsel or therapy outside the church.
The more intense the power-over forced compliance the greater the need to escape.
Ivy, have you actually read the Bible? You may not like to hear it but God said to Eve "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." This is repeated all throughout the Bible in various ways. Men are to be the head (leader) of the household. Sarah even called Abraham "lord" and was commended for it in the New Testament. "Let the wife be in subjection to her husband", "Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord", "The husband is head(leader) of his wife, even as Christ is head (leader) of the church", etc, etc, etc.
Most Christian women do not have a problem with this commandment from God (actually most women regardless of religion, it's in their nature). But Ivy, it's very obvious that you have an authority problem. You are rebellious. You are teaching women to rebel against their husbands and against God. I speak for a lot of us on the site when I say we are all very tired of you attempting to teach us. You and a few others are flooding the forums with garbage. Just stop it already.
The idea of male and female "partnership" is a heathen mindset. It is contrary to the Word of God.
Ivy, you need a husband, and yes, he needs to control you.
She is engaged now I think. God loves marriage so we should be happy for her blessings.
I think Ivy is speaking from her personal experience. Some self-proclaimed "Christian" men will use the Bible as a tool to manipulate and abuse their spouse instead loving them as Jesus loved the Church.
For instance from my experience, my father is a Buddhist and used the Bible to attack my mother and get her to do things that brought him selfish pleasure. I can understand the pain and Ivy's perspective.
Likewise, Krist's and Moonlight's points are equally important. I think we can give each other encouragement on this topic.
I don’t always agree with jj-Dave but after reading his post, I appreciate his point of view here.
Having said that, I would criticize other points of view on this thread for not specifically defining their terms.
For example. What do you mean by “controlling” your wife?
What did God mean when he said, “your desire will be for your husband but he will rule over you”?
How does Paul define his qualifications for elders ie, a perspective elder must rule his household well?
Is there a verse specifically calling for husbands and wives to submit to each other? Some feminists illegitimately appeal to a congressional mandate of mutual submission and erroneously apply it to husbands and wives.
Scripturally, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands “in everything” but how is that applied? Does “everything” in that verse have a context?? Certainly a wife isn’t to submit to her husband in carrying out a bank heist!! Some people really teach that!!!
Just saying, we ought to define our terms or at least be willing to define them to be understood.
No, I haven’t been perfect here either!! Sadly, to the contrary, I’ve been less than specific a number of times, that’s why I must humbly encourage others to do what I’m learning to do as well. Imagine, you could show me, the lovable critic, how it’s done!!
We would be submitting to being protected, loved, and cared for. We are the weaker vessel, so it makes sense. Yeah, we would be serving him too, but if we are Christians we want to serve Christ, do we not? When does it ever say in the Bible that Christ is to submit to the Church? Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the Church.
