I am a 27 year old virgin saving my virginity for the first woman I will court and marry. It is important for me that I marry a woman who is also a virgin.
I respect other people and their opinions but this is what I want.
This is not to say virgins are the best or that they are better than other Christians. God loves and forgives all of us, no matter our backgrounds.
Any female virgin out there who shares the same views is welcome to connect with me.
Ideally, we would all marry as virgins. Given the statistics on sexual abuse, many girls, even from Christian homes, never get that chance -- through no fault of their own.
I've heard tales of girls (might have been Catholic but it goes for any) who would willingly engage in oral/bum sex (and everything else) with their boyfriends but not vaginal sex - in order to keep their 'virginity'. Methinks that's missing the point somewhat!
Greetings PastorFred and thank you for opening this subject for discussion!
May our faithful Lord preserve your purity for His glory and honour until He guides your steps to that special lady who'll complement you as your wife someday! And yes, it is only fair of you to wish to connect with a virgin too since there's much to consider about intercourse than just physical pressure between two people of opposite sex. I personally admire and respect you for your chosen decision! However I personally wouldn't be bothered that much if my partner is a virgin or not, especially if Christ found him in that position. Unless otherwise...
I'd be more concerned about serious issues regarding the foundation layed for a lifetime relationship.
I once dwell in thoughts about the parable of the Ten Virgins when it turned out that the other five didn't have oil when the husband arrived. They were not left behind because they were not virgins but cause they didn't have enough oil to refill and keep their lights on when the husband arrived! Now relating this Parable not only with the return of our Lord that should find us ready but relating it with our daily relationships' that we are hoping that they will eventually end up in marriage in future, I learned that our virginity (those who are still blessed to have theirs) doesn't really have much impact if it's only an empty virginity with nothing else to offer accompanying it. Since marriage is not made or strengthened by sex, that clearly means sex is not marriage either. But rather meant for married people who still can find them selves going through divorce.
If this is the case by any chance, then at times you could still be weigh happier and better off with someone who may not be a virgin for whatever reason, but sober and mature enough to have the foundation of your marriage layed with than a fellow virgin who may have nothing more to offer other than just being a virgin. Marriage being supposed to be a lifetime covenant, will she/he be willing and able to keep up with the pace or she will ran out of oil like the other five who didn't have enough to keep their lights on for the return of the husband?
>>I've heard tales of girls ... but not vaginal sex - in order to keep their 'virginity'. Methinks that's missing the point somewhat!
Yeah, I think we should look at sexual purity not lack of vaginal penetration. In which case a girl who was abused as a minor is seen as pure as a complete virgin.
Some of the talk on marriage to a virgin comes from the rules for the Levites. I'm not clear on those details.
In the New Covenant, redemption is a stronger theme than under the Old. To my mind, moral purity since regeneration takes the priority over physical virginity. I do recognize that sexual incidents have a large impact so a woman can have some difficulties based on things in her past, either that were not her fault or that she's been saved from, depending on the types of incidents under discussion. I also understand wanting to be a spouse's first "experience". That's normal and natural. But sometimes in a fallen world ... it might not be.
>>Since marriage is not made or strengthened by sex
Actually, within the context of a loving and trusting marriage, sex does strengthen the marriage. The time taken, the exclusivity, the vulnerability, the seeking to please one another, the knowledge of one another in this way -- sex is, by design, a powerful bonding force. It doesn't overpower issues of selfishness or pride elsewhere in the marriage, but it does strengthen.
Initially my sole reason for preserving myself was to give myself to my future husband as a gift of love. I had vowed to virginity until marriage, or death. To me, virginity means abstaining from not only sex but romance until marriage. If a kiss, it has to be on the cheek, forehead or my hand......as simple as that.
With time, I changed my motive. I now preserve my purity as a worship to God. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I have given myself to God. When He has the right man for me, He will hand me over to my husband as a gift of love.
I do not think we should peg the right person for a spouse to virginity unless we can isolate the cases of abuse. Some girls will never know the beauty of staying pure due to abuse........not by choice. I do not count myself great or more honourable. Not but by the Grace of God that I stand. I have lost good friends who did not respect my choice for purity till marriage. I wondered what men really value in a woman............. I am happily waiting upon God for the spouse He has for me. I will not regret should I return to my maker a virgin. :yay:
my daughter is 27 and a virgin, for the following reasons:
1. She is a Christian
2. She wants to go back to school, finish, and work for a while. (She's got THINGS to do!)
3. She is simply NOT attracted to the guys in our area! (we are "city slickers" living by financial necessary in a very country area, and will move when we can.
I am very proud of her, but am a little tired of people thinking something is wrong that she isn't "hooked up" yet!
You are right to stick to your choice of keeping chaste!
I know; speaking for myself; that there ladies out there who may not be virgins. Yet from encountering Christ, have decided no longer to keep themselves sexually pure, for the sake of salvation. Not easy but its a choice for the love of Christ.
I am a virgin, and when I was younger my thoughts were that I would not marry a lady unless she was also a virgin. But I started to think about what a virgin is, and the question came up "Was I wanting to marry a physical virgin or was I really wanting to marry a lady that had a pure heart?"
Of course I do not want to marry a woman that is currently engaged in a promiscuous lifestyle, but remaining refraining from sexual intercourse is not the only thing that sexual purity depends upon.
Even though JESUS did not specifically mention a persons sexuality when HE was talking about murder, but I still think that we are able to learn a lesson from the words of JESUS. HE reminded people that according to the law that was given to Moses it was wrong to murder someone, but then JESUS "turned up the heat" (or tightened up the bolts so the situation became more tight fitting) HE said "I say that if you think hateful thoughts (despise another persons existence) then you are guilty of murdering that person in your heart. JESUS also taught us that if I look at a woman with lustful thoughts in my heart, then I have committed adultery. (According to the words of JESUS I am a former adulterous murderer that has been and is being redeemed by the BLOOD of the LAMB)
I have talked to women that seem to have the attitude "I have had sex outside of marriage before...and I will do it again! People like that are unrepentant sinners that are trampling upon the Grace of GOD...and it is biblically unwise to form a close relationship with them.
But there are some ladies that would like for there past sexual exploits to not be there and envy the fact that I am a virgin.
