Is it ok? Who can remarry, who cant? before you answer....
Matthew 5:31-32
Mark 10:11-12
1 Cor 7
And I would request that any argument be backed up with scripture. Although, it will be hard to stay away from opinion, since the topic is (I think purposefully) not immediately clear.
Sounds to me like you already have the answer you are seeking.
I will say that the answer lies in the reason Jesus, and Paul were teaching this. We always seem to want to revert back to being Pharisees. Paul said the letter killed, but the Spirit gives life. Christianity has never been about adherence to a strict set of rules.
If you are seriously seeking answers, and not just wanting to debate, let me know and we can run through some scriptures. This debate always brings division, and that is never of God.
Didn't God say, "let us reason together"? Doesn't is say, "as iron sharpens iron, so 1 man sharpens another". Only opinion will divide, and I guess this subject is wrought with it. But yes, I am looking for Biblical perspectives. I have studied this in depth and still don't have a clear answer. I think that is intentional, after all God hates divorce, but I want to hear what others here think.
I would like to remarry someday if the Lord wills. But I do not want to be in adultery, since adulterers cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and I don't want it to displease the Lord if I do. My x left me in adultery. I did not break my vows to her. But does that really matter. I know in a thousand years it will seem like a very small thing. But a good Christian wife to share the work with, and maybe help me be a better dad, would be nice.
I have been through this myself. There are several views depending on what church you go to. The majority believe divorce and remarriage is permitted in the case of adultery or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. some include abuse both physical and emotional.
I apologize if I came across as critical, but this question is one of those that cause a lot of arguments in the body. I have been caught up in enough of those to last a lifetime.
Before we even get into the scriptural discussion, I would like to point out that we are no longer under the law, but under grace. Do we really think that Christ's sacrifice for us wasn't enough to cover this issue? His death put an end to the law for righteousness sake. If we are the righteousness of God, through Christ Jesus, why do we, like the Galatians, keep trying to place ourselves back under the law?
Okay, lets start with Matt. 5. I am going to use this, instead of Mark, because it is more detailed, but is basically the same thing. Starting in 5:1, Jesus is teaching that sin is a matter of what is in our hearts. Remember this is all one sermon. He is taking them to task for putting away their wives because they were tired of them. He added the "except for sexual immorality" thing as a reason to let us know that there are times that divorce is acceptable. He was trying to teach them to love each other.
Jesus even tells right after this, that our yes should be yes, and our no, no. Once again, we are talking about what is in our hearts. Now, if my ex is pining away, missing me, then I would agree that remarrying is a sin, but how often does that happen? If God said, concerning man, that it is not good that man should be alone, did this suddenly change? If Father and Son are One, would Jesus be saying something opposite of what God teaches? Absolutely not! Our understanding is what is different. Jesus is trying to get across to us that if we cause someone to sin, we will be held responsible for it.
Next, let's talk about Paul's letter to the church at Corinth. Corinth was a major center of trade, and the city of the main temple of Diana, the fertility goddess. There was ritual prostitution and homosexuality in the temples. That was how they paid to keep the temple up. Paul was aware of the history of the region, and that most of this congregation were raised in this environment.
He was dealing with a specific problem within the church, see chapter 5. He was aware that he had to put a stop to the church allowing this type of behavior. So, he condemned this, and explained that we are to hold each other to higher standards, but not to bring others into our problems, it only makes us look bad, chapter 6.
Then in chapter 7, knowing the way they were raised, he tries to head off any more problems. He even goes so far as to advise them all to remain celibate if they could accept it. Jesus also touched on this, but like Paul, said not everyone had this gift. Paul also said it was better to marry than to burn with desire, verse 9.
There is so much to this issue that you could write a book, and still not cover it all. This was a very condensed version, but covered the basics.
Matt. 7:12, the golden rule. If you are not causing harm to another, how can it be a sin? I think, if your spouse is unwilling to take you back, and your moving on will not cause them pain, we are free to remarry.
As for not wanting people's opinions, you can not ask for a persons understanding of scripture without getting their opinion. The way you asked your question shows that you already have an opinion, whether your own, or one given by another. It is just the way it works. But I still stand by the fact that we are no longer under the law.
I believe that if your spouse commits adultery and really is repentant then maybe you ought to try to make the marriage work. If however they commit adultery are not repentant and have left the marriage, I see no sin in your remarrying.
God did say that it is not good for a man to be alone and He made a helpmate for him. I believe Danny that God is glorified through strong Christian marriages where the couple puts Him first and are serving Him together. May our gracious and merciful God send you a wonderful, godly helpmate to encourage,support, and serve you, that you might serve the Lord even more effectively.
"But *I* say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for cause of fornication, makes her commit adultery, and whosoever marries one that is put away commits adultery."
Mark 10:11-12, "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
The Words "putting away" would seem to be a rather archiac way of saying divorce, but the saying
"God Hates Divorce" comes from the Last Old Testament Book Malachi 2:16 (NIV) "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel,"
The NIV changes the wording and is considered less accurate than the King James because the KJV uses the phrase putting away instead of divore.
"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:" Malachi 2:16 (KJV).
And Opinions vary on whether divorce and being put away are exactly the same thing. Or if a wife can be put away but not given a legal divorce.
According to Ezra 10:3, putting away wives must be done according to the law.
"Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law."
The Law, (Moses, Deut 24:1-3) descibes two requierments for a legal divorce: She must be sent out of his house AND given a (get) bill of divorce.
"let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife]...and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house"
Unknown to some this putting away of a wife, but not granting a divorce, was common and continues even today.
The Hebrew word for a wife that has been put away but not given a bill of divorce
is Agunah or chained wife, see >
The phrase "God Hates Divorce," requirers additional scrutiny as well. while most translations say God hates divorce the most accurate translation (ESV) and the oldest reliable written record, the Dead Sea Scroll put it differently.
see bottom of page at: Dead Sea Scrolls-Septuagint Alignments Against the Masoretic Text,
"But if thou shouldest hate thy wife and put her away, saith the Lord God of Israel" Malachi 2:16
It goes on to say a man who does this (hates and puts away) covers his mind with violence like with a garment. this DDS version gives a whole new light on putting away and divorce. A man could hate and put away his wife and refuse to give her a bill of divorce. She becomes a Chained wife ( google "AGUNAH").
Jesus calls this hate and putting away by another name. He said hardness of heart was the reason God allowed Moses to grant the witting of divorce.
Just my two cents and my interpretation of God's word....having walked down this road there are two reasonings that I have come to...First that all sin is on the same level playing field including divorce....I think that we as Christians have adopted the thought that there is one greater than the other....but I believe that God sees it all the same....a seperation from Him and His goodness. Having said that I also want to say that He knows our humaness and that the consequences of ceratin sins causes a far reaching and deep hurt within us. God can and does forgive however we find it hard to forgive ourselves thus carrying with us the baggage from our relationships. I think though that God can and does heal those of us broken by divorce and that He allows us the chance to remarry so that we are not alone in our journey to heaven.
I want to address something quoted by my brother Dave.
Mark 10:11-12, "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
It would seem that the sin is against the spouse. Jesus tells us to make it right before we come to the temple. If our ex is okay with our remarrying, this would also seem to free us to do so. Thus the divorce itself is the writ of permission to remarry.
Sorry, just something that jumped out at me as I was reading.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
It would seem that the sin is against the spouse. Jesus tells us to make it right before we come to the temple. If our ex is okay with our remarrying, this would also seem to free us to do so. Thus the divorce itself is the writ of permission to remarry.
Yes, acourding to accient records the bill of divorce made it final. And Putting away is what we might call the breaking apart of the emotional bond. Even unmarried people feel the emotional tearing apart when they break up. Some married people stay married legally but put each other away or out of their heart emotionally. The Sin then is not neccessarilly the piece of paper / divorce decree but the cheating or defrauding each other of what they rightly deserve in marriage, 1 Cor 7:5, the covenant of companionship.
In other words what causes the divorce would be the sin, not the final divorce. It is the tearing apart of what God provided as the most closest companionship second only to our relationship with the Lord.
But the blame and shame game, anger and guilt still needs to be delt with for recovery & healing.
It is so easy to point the finger and say it is the others fault. This causes bitterness and hard heartedness.
And Hard heartedness, as Jesus said, is (like) almost synonomous with putting away emotionally and not giving and recieving in marriage as it is meant to be.
I have seen it go both ways. The marriage is delt an emotional blow, adultery or maybe the death of a child. Climbing a mountain of hardship can tear couples apart or it can actually bring them closer together.
What makes the difference? Love, how much love is in this companioship? God is Love, Love covers a multitude of sin. Love conquers all.
Marriage is temporary, Mat 22:30, carnal and will be done away with in this world. Our marriage to the Lord is eternal because God is perfect. Unfortunately, some people think THEY are perfect and cannot stand to be done wrong.
"7 Now therefore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go to law against one another. Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated?" 1 Cor 6:7.
Notice this Word "cheated" also translated defraud is the same as 1 Cor 7:5. I do not think divorce is the sin. The sin is always unrepentant sefl-centeredness standing in the way of uncoditional love. Divorce happens, may not be sin in and of itself but still painful and sad.
the Holy Spirit leads us into all the truth, lets say you have two scriptures, one says its not good for man to be alone, and other from Paul who says it is better if you dont marry, but every man has a differant give, It all comes down to what the Lord says you should in this particular situation. That is why important to learn to bind your own understanding as well as the enemys. and ask the Lord to show you which of the above or the others applys to you personally.
