I've been a member of CDFF.com for over a year now. It's been quite an interesting experience and very much a blessing to be a part of a free website dedicated to meeting Christian singles and meeting new friends! I can't think of many other websites that offer such services without charging us, so let's continue to appreciate that! :)
Everyone's experience has not been as wonderul as mine, however, based on what I have heard from conversations with women on the site. It appears that many professing Christian men on this site have been abusing the privelege of speaking with Christian women, sinning in the process. As a fellow brother in Jesus Christ this concerns me greatly. Please note that by being on this website, you basically acknowledge or claim to be a follower of the Christian faith and I, being a fellow brother in Christ, have license to share my concern with you. We are to build each other up as iron sharpens iron. It's called edification through the word of God.
We are Christians first and foremost because our sinful nature seperates us from God. Yet God, in his abundant grace, loves us enough to have died on the Cross for our sin in the person of Jesus Christ. Seeing as He so willfully did that for is, we should cast away sin and war against sin as children of God and live for Him! (1 John 3:6)
Because this website is host to many different denominations of believers I will not dive any further theologically, but I am most certain that every single one of us agree that we shouldn't be sinning if we are followers of Jesus Christ. I have heard, however, from a women on this site that they have been offended by some of the things men have said and done. Some have been acting lustfully towards fellow Christian women, even asking for sexual favors!
If you have done so, I ask you, what are you going? Sir, I pressingly bring this concern to you. If you are redeemed by Christ, then you know such actions are not pleasing to God! He paid the price on the cross because of such actions! If you truly repent of your sin you will work to hold yourself to God's higher standard and seek to live an increasingly holy lifestyle.
Ephesians 5:26-27 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Women deserve men that thirst and hunger for righteousness, not men who thirst and hunger after their own lusts! If you have been doing this you not only fail to deserve a godly woman, you also offend our God! You are to be a spirutual leader for your household, so how can you possibly fulfill that ordinance being a slave to your flesh? The answer is simple, you cannot. Passion is indeed a blessing of God, but such is reserved only for the married.
Proverbs 27:5+7 says: "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."
Therefore, I write this note not to point fingers or cast shame without direction, but to rebuke this behavior. It is wrong, and must stop. If you are a man, and a Christian, it is time to man-up! Become a slave to Christ and not your flesh! If you are guilty of the above mentioned sin, I pray that you respond to this with great conviction. Plead to God for forgiveness and strength to replace that behavior with godly attributes. God's grace is abundant for us who seek His face. God bless!
That's just it: ANYONE can claim to be a Christian- they may even know some scriptures or have been brought up as Christian, but the only sure way to tell is in how they act. Unfortunately Christian dating sites will draw not only genuine believers, but those looking for a 'nice girl/guy', those looking to cause us to stumble, and people who've probably been kicked off many other sites previously, because of our general tendency not to judge and to be easily forgiving.
In short, don't assume they're Christian because they've got a profile here, and don't think that that's how Christians behave, because they don't.
I think we have to be very careful about saying whether someone is a Christian or not. In Matthew 7:16 Jesus teaches us that we "shall know them by their fruit", so I certainly believe our actions often reflect whether we are redeemed by Christ. But we also don't have to power to say whether someone is saved or not. That judgment is ultimately between that person and God. My letter is no different than Paul's letters to the Corinthian church (It is a letter of much disappointment with those professing Christianity). Please read 1st and 2nd Corinthians to see exactly what I am saying here. Once again, I agree that such actions are not godly but we cannot say that "You are not a Christian if you do x or do x."
From the Word of God 1 Timothy 5:2 . It's part of a passage that gives us instructions on how a Christian man should treat various groups. And then, we get to how he should treat the women; especially the younger women. Here's what it says, "Treat the younger women as sisters with absolute purity."
Well, what do you know? Girls do come with instructions. And the instructions are, "Treat them as sisters with absolute purity." I'll tell you, that's a pretty revolutionary concept for modern male/female relationships. We men are raised to treat women as conquests, not sisters; as someone to know mostly on a physical level, not as a person in a family kind of relationship
" You know, a relationship with your sister is not primarily physical; it's a family deal. The point of what Paul is saying is, "That's what we ought to be seeking as men in our relationships with women."
The bonds between a brother and sister aren't based on a physical relationship; it's a friendship - a bonding based on something much deeper, shared experiences, together, crying together, shopping, eating, arguing, and celebrating.
Relationships between men and women become much more complicated, much more tense, much more unnatural, when they're dominated by a romantic agenda or a sexual agenda. If only we could turn in our hunting license and quit looking for girlfriends, and start looking for girls who are friends.
One characteristic of a brother's love is protection. Man, I'll tell you, a brother won't let anything happen to his sister. Well, you know, it's time we men start to protect every woman around us from being used, from being cheapened by physical involvement, to begin to give them the royal treatment and the loyal treatment that a sister deserves. And it's time women begin to tell men that they want real relationships that are centered in Christ and committed to purity; to tell them that by the way they dress, and the way they move, and the way they talk.
Men and women? Well, they're always going to be a mystery to each other, but we've made it much more confusing than it needs to be. Start looking for sisters to build up, not lovers to conquer; people to minister to.
That's how we were created to be with each other. I know that, because I've read God's manufacturer's book, and girls do come with instructions.
together, crying together, shopping, eating, arguing, and celebrating.