Author	Thread: Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites?
joiseygoil4him View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 10:52 AM I need your input Christians! I am having an issue explaining to a Christian man, that when in a serious committed monogomous relationship working towards a permanent life together, he still wants to have active profiles on several dating sites, video messenger chats, talk in private chats with single women (supposed friends) on yahoo and facebook, personal emails with women. etc.It is wrong to me. I personally believe that a Christian man should be committed to the person he loves not be a player. Having outside relationships with the opposite sex creates an unhealthy realtionship with the one you are with. His attitude is i want control and am being insecure. I do not have single men friends or do any of this while I am in a relationship. Any conversations I have are in a christian open chat room for fellowship or posts on walls at FB so he can read them. Its all out in the open. All your responses will help. Thanks!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 12:48 PM I agree with you about the player thing... that is a dangerous game he is playing. But I don't see any issue with you having single men as friends. I think we benefit from our relationships with men as well as women. I think it helps us to round out our life perspective... men have a unique view on things that can be quite helpful, and helps us to not think of every relationship with a man as a potential marriage partner. How else can you marry your 'best friend' if you've never been just friends with a man? You just have to be clear upfront that a friendship is all you want... not to lead them on if they're thinking it's more than friendship! Friends, of course, if he is not in a serious relationship with another woman. Post Reply
dljrn04 View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 01:09 PM i believe you are correct. Having outside relationships with the opposite sex creates an unhealthy realtionship with the one you are with. The bible says one man for one woman. If he can not find everything in you he is not worth you. Post Reply
song0joy View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 24 Aug, 2011 01:06 AM I don't think that his dating accounts should be active, but neither do I think that it is wrong to have friends of the opposite sex. I think that it all centers on where his focus is, and whether or not he has established solid boundaries for these friendships. I say, if he has single lady friends, let him introduce you to them, find means of keeping contact outside of that specific website, and put a freeze on his account. If these relationships are to be above reproach, then he needs to prove it to you. But it is important to really sit down and discuss this kind of thing with your significant other. Explain what you feel and why, but try to hear him out also. It's better to be on the same page with issues like this to prevent misunderstandings later. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 24 Aug, 2011 03:58 PM "joiseygoil4him", In most cases I would agree with what you said. However, I've been "led on" by someone before...so I can kinda see both sides of this situation. Let me explain: I was "led on" by a young lady into believing that she was serious about me. She led me on for nearly a year into the relationship before telling me that she was "scared/nervous about being in a serious relationship". If I'm remembering correctly, those were her exact words. Anyhow, as a result of being used/led on by that young lady, I now require that all my relationships be considered an "OPEN" relationship for at least the first 2 months! What I'm trying to say is this: The guy you've been talking to might actually be a great guy...I don't really know. Anyway, my point is, if he's been "used" and/or "led on" deceptively in the past (like me)...then I would understand his reasons for wanting to keep the relationship "open"...at least until he feels secure that you're definitely serious about him. I think the best thing for you to do would be to ask him what his reasons are behind wanting to keep the relationship "open" so to speak...and also ask him how long both of you would need to talk before he would take you serious enough to break things off with everyone else. Honestly, I admire the fact that you seem to be committed to him...and I can understand your side of the matter because I've tried to do things the same way. However, if he's been used before, then I would understand his view of things as well. Well anyway, that's the best advice I can offer you...I hope it helps. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 24 Aug, 2011 09:15 PM to put it mildly, that raises serious red flags... avoid people like that , like the plaque :toomuch: Post Reply
JojoS View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 3 Sep, 2011 12:08 PM I agree. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 15 Sep, 2011 05:59 PM Maybe you have like me been hurt by players. It took alot of years and healing by Jesus to recognize that men CAN have women friends but I believe should not act romantic or be alone at any time with them, especially if she is upset and he wants to comfort his "friend" I know of a bad situation that led to with my gal friend. There is nothing wrong with your view. If the man you want does not share it, maybe he does not wish to be ONE with you. Because I do have friends who believe as you do and I respect that and yet my closest friends are men younger than I who look to me as a sister or a mother and need my imput. I have helped save relationships, am a pastoral councellor YET NEVER go alone to a troubled males home! I take a christian with me who I can trust! I wish you the very very best. I know how much if hurts! I was told by my former would be spouse sit here while I check my e-mails and he had lots of very revealing women writing to him, yet never even let me have any friends. And I lost my prayerline telling good brothers in Christ I wasn't allowed anymore to be their friend while he played around! We ALL need fellowship but it seems who you talk of is truly not seeking friendships but should have lived when guys could have lots of women! It's hard for us not to be hurt or jealous! God bless and comfort you and keep you strong. If your gut feeling says what he's doing is wrong, then it probably is! Post Reply