Christian Chat Forums | Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? - CDFF

Author	Thread: Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
really_54 View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 2 Feb, 2012 11:28 PM Thanks to a question about divorce and remarriage posted on another thread, I felt the need to address those on this site who may be suffering from the weight of guilt and condemnation heaped on them because of their reasons for divorce. I wrote the following article, "The Stone Thrower", based on actual instances that happened on this site. If you are one of those who have been ostracized by others for having an "Unbiblical Divorce," please take the time to read. May it minister to your heart. The Stone Thrower I want to touch on a subject today that has long been regarded in Christendom as taboo . . . and that is . . . DIVORCE. Mention that word around some Christians and their hackles suddenly go up on the back of their neck. They pull out their proverbial stones ready to put to death anyone who they think has been un-biblically divorced. And to my shame, I was one of them�a stone thrower. We all know the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:3-11. The scribes and Pharisees (the religious self-righteous) had arrested this woman and dragged her before Jesus. One has to wonder how these Pharisees caught such a woman "in the very act" of adultery. How convenient for them. It's amazing the depths of depravity the self-righteous will sink to in order to defend their religious arguments. Did they have the paparazzi spy on her to get some juicy pictures for the whole world to see? At any rate, they dragged this poor woman in front of Jesus and proudly proclaimed, "Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" (John 8:5) Zowie!! These men can quote the Word of God . . . at least the parts that suit their fancy. I like our Lord's reaction. "But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear" (John 8:6b). Don't you just love it when someone ignores you . . . especially when you're trying to win an argument? But the self-righteous rarely lie down without a fight, and those religious Pharisees were determined to prove that they had the "truth." So they continued pestering Jesus, knowing that the Law of Moses was on their side. It's not a good idea to pester Jesus, especially when it comes to "pointing a finger" at someone. "So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.' And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst" (John 8:7-9). This introductory story of the woman caught in adultery has a purpose: I wanted you to have a glimpse of the mentality of a "stone thrower." They are usually self-righteous, ready to condemn, and can quote the Word of God. Ouch . . . I just described me. I had a clear cut answer for the reasons one might give to justify divorce which I thought was quite Biblical. And in my mind, there was only one reason . . . "But I say to you, that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32). There you have it�plain and simple. Who could argue with such a statement? It is the Word of God! I thought I had the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . yet the truth is . . . I was ignorant of the ways of God. "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13). And it was in my ignorance to God's ways that I threw stones at the divorced ladies on a Christian dating site some time ago. As a widower, I was on this site looking for a prospective wife. I was so appalled at the amount of women who were divorced on this site whose reasons for separating from their husbands did not match my view of scripture. In order to protect myself from these "contaminated souls," I purposely wrote something in my profile for those that I would consider as wife material: "You may be single, widowed, or divorced (must be for Biblical reasons only)." When I would communicate with these divorced ladies, I would immediately ask them to provide details on the reason for their divorce. If they could not give me an answer of infidelity as the reason for their divorce, then I considered them unmarriageable. Yet God has a way of grabbing His child's attention when that child is in error. One of the ladies on this dating site told me her story of divorce after I demanded it. Her husband was deep in bondage to pornography and had no interest whatsoever in repentance. The man had not physically hopped into bed with another woman, and so in my self-righteousness, I condemned the poor wife for wanting to opt out on the marriage. And the "stones" that I threw created fresh wounds in her heart while she recounted those painful memories of her husband's infidelity as he lusted after porn. According to Jesus' own words, her husband WAS GUILTY of adultery: "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I ignored that scripture and concentrated only on Matthew 5:32. She lashed out at me, saying that she was glad Jesus did not condemn her even if I did. I have to admit, I was shaken by her story which moved me to tears. Then there was another lady whom I demanded to give an account for her divorce. I threw "stones" at her as well when she could not give me a reason of infidelity for her separation. In bitter anger, she struck back at me, stating how her husband had broken her nose and physically abused her. I ignored the scripture which reads, "But God has called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:15b) and concentrated again on Matthew 5:32. However, her story bothered me very much just like the other woman's. I began to seek God earnestly. These were only two of the many ladies who shared with me their heartbreaking stories of divorce. There were so many reasons given for divorce and none of them fell under sexual immorality (fornication) as I saw it. I sincerely asked the Lord to open my eyes. Was there any scriptural evidence to support these women's choices to opt out of a marriage other than infidelity? Yes, there was. God led me to Matthew 19:3-12. The Pharisees were looking for a reason to trap Jesus in His words. Their previous scheme had not worked with the woman caught in adultery. However, if they could just get Jesus to say something contradictory to the Law of Moses, then they could brand Him as a heretic. So they asked Jesus this question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" (Matthew 19:3b) Jesus' answer was, and still is, God's original intention for marriage: "Have you not read . . . the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:5b-6). The Pharisees did not like His answer. For Jesus had taken them right back to Genesis before there ever was a Moses or a Law of Moses so that they could hear what GOD SAYS about marriage. Yet the stiff-necked Pharisees persisted with another question: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" (Matthew 19:7) Jesus responds, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8). The self-righteous Pharisees were using the Law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason. And because of this, the Lord had some very strong words for them. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). I can just hear the stone throwers shouting, "See, I told you . . . it's right there in the word . . . 'sexual immorality!'" Wait a minute. Like Paul Harvey, let's hear "the rest of the story" before jumping to any conclusions. After verse 9 comes verse 10. Even Jesus' disciples, which would include us, were amazed at the words of Jesus. "His disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry'" (Matthew 19:10). Yeah, I can see their point. If sexual immorality (fornication) is the only reason for divorce, then perhaps we are better off not getting married. But look at Jesus' response to his own disciples in verse 11. It stands to reason that if the disciples' statement was true, then Jesus would have said something to affirm it as such. He does not! "But He said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given'" (Matthew 19:11). What saying? The saying in verse 9 of course. NOT ALL can accept the saying that fornication is the ONLY reason for divorce. Now notice that Jesus goes on to explain what He meant with the following verse: "For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:12). What did Jesus mean by this? He tells us that three different men all became eunuchs for different reasons. One was born a eunuch, another was made a eunuch by men, and still another made himself that way for the kingdom of heaven. They all became eunuchs for different reasons, but who is to say which eunuch is "God approved"? God accepted them all. That's the point! Likewise, there are many reasons someone might seek a divorce: physical and verbal abuse from a spouse . . . being married to an unbeliever who makes life a literal hell . . . marital unfaithfulness . . . the stress of being married to an alcoholic for 23 years . . . or living with a pornographer who refuses to repent. Which one of these reasons for divorce is "God approved"? That's the point Jesus was making. Just as the eunuchs were acceptable to God regardless of how they became a eunuch, so also is a woman acceptable to God who seeks to be free from an abusive husband, even if infidelity is not involved. You and I cannot see in the heart of that abused person . . . but God can. For God has called them to peace. And the church has done more harm counselling emotionally and physically battered women to stay in a relationship citing Matthew 5:32 "except for sexual immorality" as the only just cause for divorce. Women have actually committed suicide and murder under the stress of remaining in an abusive situation because their legalistic church counseled them to do so. You may have heard of the case in the U.S. where a lady killed her husband (a pastor) who had been abusing her for years. God had called her to peace . . . but she never knew it, and one day she snapped. The evidence of abuse was so overwhelming that the courts found this woman not guilty of murder by reason of insanity. I certainly do not want to imply that people should take their marriage so lightly as to divorce for every whim and fancy. I would not condone that, and neither does the Word of God. Every marriage will have its share of problems which can be worked out with God's help by two committed individuals. Yet there are some women, especially those suffering physical and mental abuse, who have reached the tipping point of no return; and the only thing they can do to preserve their sanity is to get out of that marriage. And ultimately, it is to the Lord they answer to, not you or me. He has called them to peace. After God opened my eyes to the truth of scripture, I contacted those ladies on the dating site who I had thrown "stones" at and apologized profusely. I was truly grieved that I had been so self-righteous and blind, wounding those precious sisters for whom Christ died. Now back to the story that I began with. The "stone throwers" had already dropped their rocks and left the scene with a guilty conscience, leaving Jesus alone with the adulterous woman. "He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?'" "She said, 'No one, Lord.'" "And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more'" (John 8:10b-11). HALLELUJAH�MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT!!! Blessings in Christ Jesus, Paul Janz (All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.) "The Stone Thrower" Copyright � 2010 by Paul Janz. Post Reply
View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 12:43 PM Ha! Ha!...banned for being a Fraud ?...maybe...all sinners are frauds until they be Born Again...Right ?...I believe he got banned because he made some really un-Christ like comments here and else where in other threads and CDFF Adm after reading them...probably decided...IMHO...this jerk is outa here!!!...what ever the reason...it will be quite for awhile until he returns again...and...he will...XO Post Reply
View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 08:22 PM If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him that which is wrong; Then both the men, between whom the controversy is, shall stand before the Lord, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in those days; And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother; Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you. And those which remain shall hear, and fear, and shall henceforth commit no more any such evil among you. And thine eye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. (Deuteronomy 19:16-21 ) Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 08:28 PM And so Zebra, aka BobBobbins, aka IWalkAlone, aka ???, what punishment have you determined to be appropriate for a fraud? Or someone who bears false witness? Post Reply
View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 28 Jan, 2014 07:03 PM Dear Sir; I read your replies about divorce and remarriage. What do you do with Romans 7:2 and 3? Also in matthew where Jesus said accept for fornication what does fornication mean? he didn't say adultery! Also lets say it is ok to get divorced no where in the bible do we read its ok to get remarried! When a person takes a wedding vow they say for better or for worse. where does the worse part come in? The bible says never to make a vow then to make one and break it! Call me a stone thrower if you wish but the Bible strongly condemns divorce and remarriage! Go back 100 years ago and you would find a Godly pastor to remarry a person! The church is crying foul because the government is condoning gay marriage but the church dropped the ball a long time ago when they condoned divorce and remarriage! The government is just following the church! Sorry folks but if you get remarried and your former spouse is still living, your living in sin! that's what the bible teaches not me! Post Reply
View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 28 Jan, 2014 07:09 PM I want to lovingly say this yet also! If God forgives the former marriage and a person is free to start all over again then if I still your car and then ask the Lord to forgive me then I don't need to return it because God has forgiven me and my past is forgotten! You would say how foolish you must make restitution! So must a person who has someone elses wife or husband! they must separate themselves from the sin and return the person they stole! Now do I condone abuse? absolutely not! If there is physical abuse them the spouse may need to leave while counseling is given but by no means are they free to remarry! Post Reply

View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 31 Jan, 2014 06:58 AM In matt 19:9 You have to understand the Jewish culture to understand why Jesus said fornication! If he meant after marriage for sexual unfaithfulness then He would be contradicting himself when he said what God hath joined together let not man put asunder! In the Jewish culture they had a betrothal period where they had promised themselves to each other but not yet had the marriage ceremony! Just like when Joseph was going to put away Mary but they were not yet married! It would be like our engagement period today only their betrothal period was a lot more binding! Hence if one of them was sexually unfaithful they could break the engagement and pit the other partner away! I am sure Jesus would have agreed with Paul when Paul said they you are free to remarry only when the other spouse dies! Also in 1 cor 7:15 when Paul said you are not under bondage he meant you are not bound to take care of the other partners needs if they leave! If he meant you are not bound in marriage anymore he would have been contradicting himself in verse 39! I am sorry but the bible nowhere supports getting remarried until you spouse is dead! Read Malachi 2:13-17 and see what God thinks about it! Ever since the churches in America started supporting divorce and remarriage America has went to hell in a handbasket and not wonder now we have the government supporting gay marriage! The government is only going one step further then the churches! The next step for the churches is they will be supporting gay marriage also and gay preachers in the pulpit! it's just around the corner! We need to repent in this country of our false doctrine sand beliefs! By this statement I mean the Christians not the heathens! Post Reply
View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 31 Jan, 2014 07:11 AM I am sorry but mercy doesn't triumph over judgment! If God overlooks sins then He is not a just and righteous God! The bible clearly condemns any form of divorce and remarriage! Yes God's mercy forgives us only if we repent and turn away from our sins! I am sorry that some here are giving false doctrine and false hope to those who are divorced! The right answer is that they should pray for their spouses and for God to heal their marriages not give them the false hope that they can remarry! You go back 100 years ago and you wouldn't find one preacher in America to remarry someone! Are we more enlightend to the truth then they were? I think not because Satan is coming as an angel of light in these last days and his messengers are everywhere even in the pulpits! Brother I would lovingly challenge you to take another clear look at scripture and what it says on divorce and remarriage! Marriage is for life just like we vow! Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled! This is sinner and saint alike! I believe that someday I will go to prison in this country for the stand I take against divorce and remarriage and adultery and gay marriage! But should I shrink from suffering for the truth? Post Reply
really_54 View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 31 Jan, 2014 05:04 PM JesusLives4Ever says, "I am sorry but mercy doesn't triumph over judgment! If God overlooks sins then He is not a just and righteous God!" The Word of God says, "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment" James 2:13 JesusLives4Ever says, "Jesus said accept for fornication what does fornication mean? he didn't say adultery" Jesus said, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). You do not have to hop into bed and have actual sex with another woman to be an adulterer in God's eyes. Therefore any woman who has such a husband has every right to divorce him, unless he repents. Sadly, the only thing you got right in all your four postings is your username. Post Reply
Singer4u View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 12 Feb, 2014 11:44 PM Jesuslivesforever, I am one who says the innocent party can remarry. I myself am not giving false hope for I have studied every scripture I can find from OT to NT and listen to the top teachers on this serious matter. When Matthew 19 is taken in proper context and when the proper 2 or 3 witnesses are used concerning a matter of adultery then the innocent only can remarry. I believe you are under a total misunderstanding about where sexual sin breaks the oneness covenant. I suggest you study www.Eliyah.com and go to the teaching on divorce and remarriage . Its 42 pages of practically all the verses pertaining. You will also find that the term fornication in it's definition covers all sexual sins for it is a broad generalization. Also if the innocent party can't remarry then where is the reward for obedience? For we know there's a reward for disobedience. In vs 19 of Matthew why did Messiah say he wouldn't count their new marriage as adultery if they got rid of their mate for sexual sin (fornication). This point alone shows he allows remarriage. Also a man could have multiple wives and that was never withdrawn it just says in the NT the man who has more than one can't be a deacon... He's not counted as an unbeliever. The vow is the point of binding in our laws today for people don't understand betrothal in it's Hebrew meaning. Post Reply
really_54 View Profile History	Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ? Posted : 11 Apr, 2014 09:32 PM The following is an email I received recently from a woman who was not only abused by her husband, but also by the legalistic church she attended. I have her permission to post her story here for the benefit of those who may be suffering under similar circumstances. ************************************************* Her story: ************************************************ My divorce story is this... I became born again when I was 27. I was attending a very small church along with my boyfriend who had professed Christ as his Savior the same night as me. We then were baptized and several months later married, and all the while attending the church where we became born again. Our marriage was a nightmare! The physical and emotional abuse started the night of our wedding. I think I was in shock. UGH, such a long story of details that I don't really need to go into. Anyway, I truly, truly believe I had been brainwashed at this legalistic horrible church. I went to the pastor crying one night asking him what I'm doing wrong as a Christian wife because my husband beats me, belittles me etc. etc. My pastor's response was, "Well, you just aren't being submissive enough." I felt horrible about my Christian walk and kept asking the Lord to forgive me and help me be a better wife to my husband. So I stuck it out for two years without ever telling anyone (mind you I was raised in a very loving environment where my husband's actions would never have been accepted or tolerated� hence why I say I was brainwashed). I truly thought I was a horrible wife, and if I just was a better Christian and better wife, my husband would be happy with me. I could go on and on but after four miscarriages we did end up having a precious, beautiful daughter. She was a one year old when I realized he was going to treat her the same way he was treating me. I moved out, began going to another church, never wanting a divorce, kept praying and hoping things would change. My husband, in the meantime, became VERY GOOD friends with one of my girlfriends from that small church. My husband came to me and said since I left him, took his child away from him, that his church said he was free to remarry and divorce me with a clear conscience (mind you, I never even considered another man let alone date while I was married, I wanted my marriage to work). O my goodness, I could go on and on, but it's not necessary at this point. So, after 21 years of being single and raising my beautiful daughter all by myself, my ex did go on to marry my girlfriend and disowned his daughter with me. Wow, sorry if I'm getting so carried away! My point is.... through my Christian walk I have heard sooooo much nonsense (as well as sooooo much truth). My only answer is that I truly get on my knees, seek Christ, study His Word, and know that when I am in His will and walking closely with Him, He will guide me and teach me exactly how, what, where, etc. I should be, as painful as it may be at times. But I must trust the Holy Spirit. Man may lead me astray.... God won't. I CAN THANKFULLY SAY THAT WITH 100% CONVICTION! So, praise God that He has opened your eyes to what His truth is. Thank you! May you be richly blessed! ************************************************** Amen to her final words... "Seek Christ, study His Word...But I must trust the Holy Spirit. Man may lead me astray.... God won't." Blessings, Paul Post Reply