Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 2 Feb, 2012 11:28 PM
Thanks to a question about divorce and remarriage posted on another thread, I felt the need to address those on this site who may be suffering from the weight of guilt and condemnation heaped on them because of their reasons for divorce.
I wrote the following article, "The Stone Thrower", based on actual instances that happened on this site. If you are one of those who have been ostracized by others for having an "Unbiblical Divorce," please take the time to read. May it minister to your heart.
The Stone Thrower
I want to touch on a subject today that has long been regarded in Christendom as taboo . . . and that is . . . DIVORCE. Mention that word around some Christians and their hackles suddenly go up on the back of their neck. They pull out their proverbial stones ready to put to death anyone who they think has been un-biblically divorced. And to my shame, I was one of them�a stone thrower.
We all know the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:3-11. The scribes and Pharisees (the religious self-righteous) had arrested this woman and dragged her before Jesus. One has to wonder how these Pharisees caught such a woman "in the very act" of adultery. How convenient for them. It's amazing the depths of depravity the self-righteous will sink to in order to defend their religious arguments. Did they have the paparazzi spy on her to get some juicy pictures for the whole world to see?
At any rate, they dragged this poor woman in front of Jesus and proudly proclaimed, "Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" (John 8:5)
Zowie!! These men can quote the Word of God . . . at least the parts that suit their fancy.
I like our Lord's reaction. "But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear" (John 8:6b).
Don't you just love it when someone ignores you . . . especially when you're trying to win an argument? But the self-righteous rarely lie down without a fight, and those religious Pharisees were determined to prove that they had the "truth." So they continued pestering Jesus, knowing that the Law of Moses was on their side. It's not a good idea to pester Jesus, especially when it comes to "pointing a finger" at someone.
"So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.' And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst" (John 8:7-9).
This introductory story of the woman caught in adultery has a purpose: I wanted you to have a glimpse of the mentality of a "stone thrower." They are usually self-righteous, ready to condemn, and can quote the Word of God. Ouch . . . I just described me.
I had a clear cut answer for the reasons one might give to justify divorce which I thought was quite Biblical. And in my mind, there was only one reason . . . "But I say to you, that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32). There you have it�plain and simple. Who could argue with such a statement? It is the Word of God! I thought I had the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . yet the truth is . . . I was ignorant of the ways of God. "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13).
And it was in my ignorance to God's ways that I threw stones at the divorced ladies on a Christian dating site some time ago. As a widower, I was on this site looking for a prospective wife. I was so appalled at the amount of women who were divorced on this site whose reasons for separating from their husbands did not match my view of scripture. In order to protect myself from these "contaminated souls," I purposely wrote something in my profile for those that I would consider as wife material: "You may be single, widowed, or divorced (must be for Biblical reasons only)."
When I would communicate with these divorced ladies, I would immediately ask them to provide details on the reason for their divorce. If they could not give me an answer of infidelity as the reason for their divorce, then I considered them unmarriageable. Yet God has a way of grabbing His child's attention when that child is in error.
One of the ladies on this dating site told me her story of divorce after I demanded it. Her husband was deep in bondage to pornography and had no interest whatsoever in repentance. The man had not physically hopped into bed with another woman, and so in my self-righteousness, I condemned the poor wife for wanting to opt out on the marriage. And the "stones" that I threw created fresh wounds in her heart while she recounted those painful memories of her husband's infidelity as he lusted after porn. According to Jesus' own words, her husband WAS GUILTY of adultery: "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I ignored that scripture and concentrated only on Matthew 5:32. She lashed out at me, saying that she was glad Jesus did not condemn her even if I did. I have to admit, I was shaken by her story which moved me to tears.
Then there was another lady whom I demanded to give an account for her divorce. I threw "stones" at her as well when she could not give me a reason of infidelity for her separation. In bitter anger, she struck back at me, stating how her husband had broken her nose and physically abused her. I ignored the scripture which reads, "But God has called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:15b) and concentrated again on Matthew 5:32. However, her story bothered me very much just like the other woman's.
I began to seek God earnestly. These were only two of the many ladies who shared with me their heartbreaking stories of divorce. There were so many reasons given for divorce and none of them fell under sexual immorality (fornication) as I saw it. I sincerely asked the Lord to open my eyes. Was there any scriptural evidence to support these women's choices to opt out of a marriage other than infidelity? Yes, there was.
God led me to Matthew 19:3-12. The Pharisees were looking for a reason to trap Jesus in His words. Their previous scheme had not worked with the woman caught in adultery. However, if they could just get Jesus to say something contradictory to the Law of Moses, then they could brand Him as a heretic. So they asked Jesus this question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" (Matthew 19:3b)
Jesus' answer was, and still is, God's original intention for marriage: "Have you not read . . . the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:5b-6).
The Pharisees did not like His answer. For Jesus had taken them right back to Genesis before there ever was a Moses or a Law of Moses so that they could hear what GOD SAYS about marriage. Yet the stiff-necked Pharisees persisted with another question: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" (Matthew 19:7)
Jesus responds, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8).
The self-righteous Pharisees were using the Law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason. And because of this, the Lord had some very strong words for them. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
I can just hear the stone throwers shouting, "See, I told you . . . it's right there in the word . . . 'sexual immorality!'"
Wait a minute. Like Paul Harvey, let's hear "the rest of the story" before jumping to any conclusions. After verse 9 comes verse 10. Even Jesus' disciples, which would include us, were amazed at the words of Jesus. "His disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry'" (Matthew 19:10). Yeah, I can see their point. If sexual immorality (fornication) is the only reason for divorce, then perhaps we are better off not getting married.
But look at Jesus' response to his own disciples in verse 11. It stands to reason that if the disciples' statement was true, then Jesus would have said something to affirm it as such. He does not!
"But He said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given'" (Matthew 19:11).
What saying? The saying in verse 9 of course. NOT ALL can accept the saying that fornication is the ONLY reason for divorce.
Now notice that Jesus goes on to explain what He meant with the following verse:
"For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:12).
What did Jesus mean by this? He tells us that three different men all became eunuchs for different reasons. One was born a eunuch, another was made a eunuch by men, and still another made himself that way for the kingdom of heaven. They all became eunuchs for different reasons, but who is to say which eunuch is "God approved"? God accepted them all. That's the point!
Likewise, there are many reasons someone might seek a divorce: physical and verbal abuse from a spouse . . . being married to an unbeliever who makes life a literal hell . . . marital unfaithfulness . . . the stress of being married to an alcoholic for 23 years . . . or living with a pornographer who refuses to repent. Which one of these reasons for divorce is "God approved"? That's the point Jesus was making. Just as the eunuchs were acceptable to God regardless of how they became a eunuch, so also is a woman acceptable to God who seeks to be free from an abusive husband, even if infidelity is not involved. You and I cannot see in the heart of that abused person . . . but God can. For God has called them to peace.
And the church has done more harm counselling emotionally and physically battered women to stay in a relationship citing Matthew 5:32 "except for sexual immorality" as the only just cause for divorce. Women have actually committed suicide and murder under the stress of remaining in an abusive situation because their legalistic church counseled them to do so.
You may have heard of the case in the U.S. where a lady killed her husband (a pastor) who had been abusing her for years. God had called her to peace . . . but she never knew it, and one day she snapped. The evidence of abuse was so overwhelming that the courts found this woman not guilty of murder by reason of insanity.
I certainly do not want to imply that people should take their marriage so lightly as to divorce for every whim and fancy. I would not condone that, and neither does the Word of God. Every marriage will have its share of problems which can be worked out with God's help by two committed individuals. Yet there are some women, especially those suffering physical and mental abuse, who have reached the tipping point of no return; and the only thing they can do to preserve their sanity is to get out of that marriage. And ultimately, it is to the Lord they answer to, not you or me. He has called them to peace.
After God opened my eyes to the truth of scripture, I contacted those ladies on the dating site who I had thrown "stones" at and apologized profusely. I was truly grieved that I had been so self-righteous and blind, wounding those precious sisters for whom Christ died.
Now back to the story that I began with. The "stone throwers" had already dropped their rocks and left the scene with a guilty conscience, leaving Jesus alone with the adulterous woman.
"He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?'"
"She said, 'No one, Lord.'"
"And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more'" (John 8:10b-11).
HALLELUJAH�MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT!!!
Blessings in Christ Jesus,
Paul Janz
(All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.)
"The Stone Thrower" Copyright � 2010 by Paul Janz.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 10:25 AM
Proverbs 6:12�A naughty person, a wicked man,�with a froward mouth.
13 He winketh with his eyes,�he speaketh with his feet,�he teacheth with his fingers;
14 Frowardness is in his heart,�he deviseth mischief continually;�he soweth discord.
Ephesians 4:29�Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.�
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:�
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 12:12 PM
YES --- And now Teach why don't you meditate on those verses and apply them to yourself.
Paul,
cc: Teach
cc: Jude
Is your reading comprehension that bad? Go review the historical order of my statements. Also, please note that I took the opportunity to clarify myself a second time.
Please try to represent the statement properly this time and in their correct sequence. I noticed last time around that ommitted the opening comments that were necessary to establish the truth and provide proper context. Deliberate ommission? or sloppy attention to detail and poor reading comprehension?
I said Jude was bearing false witness with this statement, "Jude --Here is your statement, "Hi Paul...that's just what he does here...and he got you all stirred up over it...just what his intent was...Anywho...keep on posting bro."
You bear false witness against me again as you have numerous other times. YES JUDE, YOU ARE GUILTY AGAIN
Posted : 16 Nov, 2013 09:58 PM
Do you get that Paul? She bears false witness when she claims that "this is what I do here, that my intent is to stir you up". I repeat again, this was her statement, ""Hi Paul...that's just what he does here...and he got you all stirred up over it...just what his intent was......"
However, This is NOT true as I have testified and shown. Then again, neither is much of what Jude says about me.
It wasn't until AFTER I called her out for that statement that she went on to make the claim that I was BobBobbins. I never deny that claim. In fact, as I said, I admit to this myself with my statement to Teach.
For the record, Jude has made this claim before. It's part of her ongoing smear campaign. Spreading the love of Jesus and all that good stuff. Notice, I never confirmed or denied it then either. However, I did offer everyone a chance to discuss the truth of all related matters. All of the them rejected the chance for an honest dialogue. More "Christian" charity, no doubt.
You, like Jude and Teach suffer from poor reading comprehension and a clear lack of integrity.
Now, again the facts support my claims and undermine both yours, Teachs, and Judes. As such, I demand a public retraction and an apology for the false claims and the flagrant character assassination that all of you have engaged in against me here.
Do any of you have the character and integrity to acknowledge your error in comprehending my statements and the order in which I gave them and offer a public apology?
-------
Teach said, "So BobBobbins/IWA or whoever you are, you have ZERO credibility as you have been caught in lies in your identity which makes one question most everything you write other than pure Scriptute....and I would look every verse up that you cite for accuracy."
Teach is committing the logical fallacy of ad hominem. She states that I am doing something she considers objectionable so that he can disregard my Scriptural position on the topics at hand (the OP) This is really not a sound way to argue. It's called the "you too" response: "I won't hear you about my own sin because you are "committing sin, too." (though I am not).
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 12:19 PM
TEACH ---- To those verses add these and meditate on them also.
Exodus 23:1
You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.
Proverbs 25:18
A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.
Proverbs 14:5
A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies.
Prov 26:28
A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
Proverbs 13:5
The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
Proverbs 19:9
A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.
Revelation 21:8
But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
John 8:44
You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Proverbs 26:23-28
Like the glaze covering an earthen vessel are fervent lips with an evil heart. Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling. ...
Romans 3:13
Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.� �The venom of asps is under their lips.�
James 3:14
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.
Revelation 22:15
Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.
Matthew 7:21-23
�Not everyone who says to me, �Lord, Lord,� will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, �Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?� And then will I declare to them, �I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.�
Proverbs 6:17
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
1 Peter 2:1-20
So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation� if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ...
Matthew 23:1-39
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, �The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so practice and observe whatever they tell you�but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long,
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 12:31 PM
Teach has now committed the shameful act of trying to cover her obvious defeat in debate. She has also rejected the path of humility and repentance by NOT recanting her FALSE witness against me.
She then pretends moral superiority by posting some Bible verses to further impugn my character when she should have repented for her own conduct and incorrigibility.
She (and Paul and Jude) have no trouble with FALSELY slandering my character but refuse to own up to their actions now that they have been called out on it.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 12:56 PM
Teach, I see all the security in salvation scriptures that you posted.... They are true in context....... That means as one endures til the end and stays in Yahushua and doesn't get spit out as lukewarm or take away from the prophecy of the book of revelation, or commit suicide, or change sides and be a devil worshipper, or practice homosexuality, or deny Yahushua as messiah, or practice willful sins especially the sins of the flesh and die in them, or be a covenant breaking adulterer who unrepentently remarries when they are still bound to the terms of the covenant they broke against their believing husband or wife and remarries in compounded adultery.
I can provide all the warning passages of these things in just the New Testament...............There are many many verses, I have provided many all ready. The warning passages are just as powerful as the promise passages. I warn any adulterer who was a true believer married to a believer (one which Yahweh himself joined) who unscripturally divorced their mate to stay single and sexually chaste and PROVE THEIR REPENTANCE by that fruit. Yahweh says nowhere that He will let you out of that covenant til death. However in the old testament the innocent could remarry because the adulterer was stoned to death. Then the innocent could remarry. Under the NT Messiah Yahushua warned that He would only let the innocent party out of the marriage covenant in Matthew 19 and not the guilty. He will forgive them if they repent and stay single and chaste but if they remarry when he says they can't they return or stay in adultery................This He warns. You can't confess your sin and stay in it. It don't work that way you have to forsake it....... He can't lie. If he lets you out of it then it would make Romans 7 vs 2 and 3 and 1 Corrinthians 7 vs 38 and 39 not true meaning he would lie. Impossible he can never lie. Not meant as condemnation but as a warning to keep his terms so that one does receive mercy along with truth.............
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 02:03 PM
Romans 12:1�I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.�
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.�
4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:�
5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.�
6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;�
7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;�
8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.
9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.�
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;�
11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;�
12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;�
13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
14 Bless them which persecute you:bless, and curse not.�
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.�
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.�
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.�
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.�
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.�
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 02:05 PM
Romans 12:1�I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.�
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.�
4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:�
5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.�
6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;�
7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;�
8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.
9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.�
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;�
11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;�
12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;�
13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
14 Bless them which persecute you:bless, and curse not.�
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.�
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.�
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.�
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.�
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.�
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 02:20 PM
Teach has now committed the shameful act of trying to cover her obvious defeat in debate. She has also rejected the path of humility and repentance by NOT recanting her FALSE witness against me.
She then pretends moral superiority by posting some Bible verses to further impugn my character when she should have repented for her own conduct and incorrigibility.
She (and Paul and Jude) have no trouble with slandering my character but refuse to own up to their actions now that they have been called out on it.
