Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 2 Feb, 2012 11:28 PM
Thanks to a question about divorce and remarriage posted on another thread, I felt the need to address those on this site who may be suffering from the weight of guilt and condemnation heaped on them because of their reasons for divorce.
I wrote the following article, "The Stone Thrower", based on actual instances that happened on this site. If you are one of those who have been ostracized by others for having an "Unbiblical Divorce," please take the time to read. May it minister to your heart.
The Stone Thrower
I want to touch on a subject today that has long been regarded in Christendom as taboo . . . and that is . . . DIVORCE. Mention that word around some Christians and their hackles suddenly go up on the back of their neck. They pull out their proverbial stones ready to put to death anyone who they think has been un-biblically divorced. And to my shame, I was one of them�a stone thrower.
We all know the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:3-11. The scribes and Pharisees (the religious self-righteous) had arrested this woman and dragged her before Jesus. One has to wonder how these Pharisees caught such a woman "in the very act" of adultery. How convenient for them. It's amazing the depths of depravity the self-righteous will sink to in order to defend their religious arguments. Did they have the paparazzi spy on her to get some juicy pictures for the whole world to see?
At any rate, they dragged this poor woman in front of Jesus and proudly proclaimed, "Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" (John 8:5)
Zowie!! These men can quote the Word of God . . . at least the parts that suit their fancy.
I like our Lord's reaction. "But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear" (John 8:6b).
Don't you just love it when someone ignores you . . . especially when you're trying to win an argument? But the self-righteous rarely lie down without a fight, and those religious Pharisees were determined to prove that they had the "truth." So they continued pestering Jesus, knowing that the Law of Moses was on their side. It's not a good idea to pester Jesus, especially when it comes to "pointing a finger" at someone.
"So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.' And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst" (John 8:7-9).
This introductory story of the woman caught in adultery has a purpose: I wanted you to have a glimpse of the mentality of a "stone thrower." They are usually self-righteous, ready to condemn, and can quote the Word of God. Ouch . . . I just described me.
I had a clear cut answer for the reasons one might give to justify divorce which I thought was quite Biblical. And in my mind, there was only one reason . . . "But I say to you, that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32). There you have it�plain and simple. Who could argue with such a statement? It is the Word of God! I thought I had the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . yet the truth is . . . I was ignorant of the ways of God. "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13).
And it was in my ignorance to God's ways that I threw stones at the divorced ladies on a Christian dating site some time ago. As a widower, I was on this site looking for a prospective wife. I was so appalled at the amount of women who were divorced on this site whose reasons for separating from their husbands did not match my view of scripture. In order to protect myself from these "contaminated souls," I purposely wrote something in my profile for those that I would consider as wife material: "You may be single, widowed, or divorced (must be for Biblical reasons only)."
When I would communicate with these divorced ladies, I would immediately ask them to provide details on the reason for their divorce. If they could not give me an answer of infidelity as the reason for their divorce, then I considered them unmarriageable. Yet God has a way of grabbing His child's attention when that child is in error.
One of the ladies on this dating site told me her story of divorce after I demanded it. Her husband was deep in bondage to pornography and had no interest whatsoever in repentance. The man had not physically hopped into bed with another woman, and so in my self-righteousness, I condemned the poor wife for wanting to opt out on the marriage. And the "stones" that I threw created fresh wounds in her heart while she recounted those painful memories of her husband's infidelity as he lusted after porn. According to Jesus' own words, her husband WAS GUILTY of adultery: "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I ignored that scripture and concentrated only on Matthew 5:32. She lashed out at me, saying that she was glad Jesus did not condemn her even if I did. I have to admit, I was shaken by her story which moved me to tears.
Then there was another lady whom I demanded to give an account for her divorce. I threw "stones" at her as well when she could not give me a reason of infidelity for her separation. In bitter anger, she struck back at me, stating how her husband had broken her nose and physically abused her. I ignored the scripture which reads, "But God has called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:15b) and concentrated again on Matthew 5:32. However, her story bothered me very much just like the other woman's.
I began to seek God earnestly. These were only two of the many ladies who shared with me their heartbreaking stories of divorce. There were so many reasons given for divorce and none of them fell under sexual immorality (fornication) as I saw it. I sincerely asked the Lord to open my eyes. Was there any scriptural evidence to support these women's choices to opt out of a marriage other than infidelity? Yes, there was.
God led me to Matthew 19:3-12. The Pharisees were looking for a reason to trap Jesus in His words. Their previous scheme had not worked with the woman caught in adultery. However, if they could just get Jesus to say something contradictory to the Law of Moses, then they could brand Him as a heretic. So they asked Jesus this question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" (Matthew 19:3b)
Jesus' answer was, and still is, God's original intention for marriage: "Have you not read . . . the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:5b-6).
The Pharisees did not like His answer. For Jesus had taken them right back to Genesis before there ever was a Moses or a Law of Moses so that they could hear what GOD SAYS about marriage. Yet the stiff-necked Pharisees persisted with another question: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" (Matthew 19:7)
Jesus responds, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8).
The self-righteous Pharisees were using the Law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason. And because of this, the Lord had some very strong words for them. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
I can just hear the stone throwers shouting, "See, I told you . . . it's right there in the word . . . 'sexual immorality!'"
Wait a minute. Like Paul Harvey, let's hear "the rest of the story" before jumping to any conclusions. After verse 9 comes verse 10. Even Jesus' disciples, which would include us, were amazed at the words of Jesus. "His disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry'" (Matthew 19:10). Yeah, I can see their point. If sexual immorality (fornication) is the only reason for divorce, then perhaps we are better off not getting married.
But look at Jesus' response to his own disciples in verse 11. It stands to reason that if the disciples' statement was true, then Jesus would have said something to affirm it as such. He does not!
"But He said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given'" (Matthew 19:11).
What saying? The saying in verse 9 of course. NOT ALL can accept the saying that fornication is the ONLY reason for divorce.
Now notice that Jesus goes on to explain what He meant with the following verse:
"For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:12).
What did Jesus mean by this? He tells us that three different men all became eunuchs for different reasons. One was born a eunuch, another was made a eunuch by men, and still another made himself that way for the kingdom of heaven. They all became eunuchs for different reasons, but who is to say which eunuch is "God approved"? God accepted them all. That's the point!
Likewise, there are many reasons someone might seek a divorce: physical and verbal abuse from a spouse . . . being married to an unbeliever who makes life a literal hell . . . marital unfaithfulness . . . the stress of being married to an alcoholic for 23 years . . . or living with a pornographer who refuses to repent. Which one of these reasons for divorce is "God approved"? That's the point Jesus was making. Just as the eunuchs were acceptable to God regardless of how they became a eunuch, so also is a woman acceptable to God who seeks to be free from an abusive husband, even if infidelity is not involved. You and I cannot see in the heart of that abused person . . . but God can. For God has called them to peace.
And the church has done more harm counselling emotionally and physically battered women to stay in a relationship citing Matthew 5:32 "except for sexual immorality" as the only just cause for divorce. Women have actually committed suicide and murder under the stress of remaining in an abusive situation because their legalistic church counseled them to do so.
You may have heard of the case in the U.S. where a lady killed her husband (a pastor) who had been abusing her for years. God had called her to peace . . . but she never knew it, and one day she snapped. The evidence of abuse was so overwhelming that the courts found this woman not guilty of murder by reason of insanity.
I certainly do not want to imply that people should take their marriage so lightly as to divorce for every whim and fancy. I would not condone that, and neither does the Word of God. Every marriage will have its share of problems which can be worked out with God's help by two committed individuals. Yet there are some women, especially those suffering physical and mental abuse, who have reached the tipping point of no return; and the only thing they can do to preserve their sanity is to get out of that marriage. And ultimately, it is to the Lord they answer to, not you or me. He has called them to peace.
After God opened my eyes to the truth of scripture, I contacted those ladies on the dating site who I had thrown "stones" at and apologized profusely. I was truly grieved that I had been so self-righteous and blind, wounding those precious sisters for whom Christ died.
Now back to the story that I began with. The "stone throwers" had already dropped their rocks and left the scene with a guilty conscience, leaving Jesus alone with the adulterous woman.
"He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?'"
"She said, 'No one, Lord.'"
"And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more'" (John 8:10b-11).
HALLELUJAH�MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT!!!
Blessings in Christ Jesus,
Paul Janz
(All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.)
"The Stone Thrower" Copyright � 2010 by Paul Janz.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 08:11 PM
Also when someone says you don't do this or that with love??? How do you know whether I have enough love???
The love being required in the word of Yahweh is that we obey his commandments this is the love he means. If we offer our body to be burned and have not love it profits us nothing the scripture says. Yes exactly! To offer our body and not being obediant proving we love him would profit us nothing. How do we know we have enough love without being a tinkling cymbal or clanking gong??? See I know these verses I study the whole bible! We have it when we obey Yahweh and his Torah(word) commandments! Thats what I am promoting and this is love by me. Don't mistake tolerance for love!!! When we are first born again we are only required 2 commandments til we learn more and grow spiritually! These 2 are Abstain from fornication and from meat sacrificed to idols(demons and also fallen angels). This is our santification required I might add!!! Acts 15 vs 20 and Acts 15 vs 29 and Acts 21 vs 25. We are saved by the blood of Yahusha who purchased us to be obediant to him and show fruits worthy of repentence! We are free from sin not free to sin !!! He came to destroy the works of the devil and save us from the fear od death! He came to heal and restore us to him and his Torah for he is the living Torah(word)!!! When someone says we can't obey or are powerless too that is only true for unbelievers but for us believers we have his power and Holy Spirit in us given us power to say no to sin!!!!!!!!! We are overcomers by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb Yahushua!!!! The devil attacks those that hold to the name Yahusha and keep his commandments Revelation 12 vs 17. This is what Iam promoting =obeying Yahweh and keeping his commandments!
Lastly if I am rejected by people for telling his words =the truth! It bothers me not! He is still glorified! If I am recieved he is glorified! This because the scripture says that he came to his own people and they received him not . Yet he was glorified and the servant isn't greater ahan the master. If they rejected him they will us believers too. But praise yahusha even more when people do receive him!
Fear Yahweh and obey him is the whole duty of men the word says and it it summed up in love him with all your heart, soul,mind, body, and spirit and is the greatest commandment and the loving your neighbor as yourself which is likened to it. This also paralles the first commandment 1 Have no other gods before me!
Lets put him first people and obey him then we will have enough love saints! Shalom and blessings to all his bride
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 08:34 PM
Matt 28: 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20 TEACHING THEM TO OBSERVE ALL THINGS WHATSOEVER I COMMANDED YOU: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
Notice: Jesus says.... ALL things. He does not say some things, or just the things that you like, or the things that are easy.. but ALL things.
The command of Jesus is very clear: Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
If you start with the intent (as did the Pharisees) to push the commands of God to see just how much you can get away with then you will invariably end up twisting and distorting the Word of God. (just as Paul has done here in his article).
If you will follow Christ, you must practice and teach what He commands. This is what I and Singer4U are advocating here.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 08:36 PM
Repent= Means we stop the sin and confess it showing fruits worthy of repentence. We don't confess it then keep on doing it! We also don't do Yahweh's will our way. It will be rejected. We do his will our way!
These are things we should as his bride be doing
1As his wife we obey our husband!!!
2 we are never ashamed of his name and we confess him before men
3 we guard keep and obey his commandments and teach others to do also
4 we abstain from meat sacrificed to idols and from drinking blood and abstain from fornication
5 we pray without ceasing
6 we don't practice willfull sin
7 we gather together and partake of his body through communion
8 we pray for the peace of Jerusalem
9 We have love for the brethren(We tell them the truth in love)
10 True worship is to live holy and obey his commandments and present ourselves a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to Yahweh
11 We earnestly contend for the faith
12 We have faith in him!!! We must believe he is a rewarder of those who dillengently seek him13 We watch and pray 14 We keep his Sabbath holy too this is required not suggested
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 10:32 PM
Thank you GoldenFaith for taking the time to share your thoughts. I have gleaned a couple of nuggets from your article to share with the readers . . .
"Its good brothers and sisters to apply scripture with compassion what Jesus did, and I noticed he overlooked sins often and even broke the Sabbath as an example and many no no's to the Pharisee world."
"really...its true...only by his grace we can stay in the narrow path...and blameless"
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 11:12 PM
Jesus never "broke the sabbath" If he had done so, he would not have been able to fulfill the law. Your salvation could not have occurred. I am not sure where you get such ridiculous ideas. That is completely absurd and totally false.
Paul - your thinking illustrates that when you deviate so badly on one point, the evolution will be totally heresy. This thread is proof.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 1 Jun, 2012 11:12 PM
Jesus never "broke the sabbath" If he had done so, he would not have been able to fulfill the law. Your salvation could not have occurred. I am not sure where you get such ridiculous ideas. That is completely absurd and totally false.
Paul - your thinking illustrates that when you deviate so badly on one point, the evolution will be totally heresy. This thread is proof.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 2 Jun, 2012 12:39 AM
Paul and Goldenfaith both said in their writings on this forum that Yahushua broke Sabbath. That is impossible! You two should know better than that and to say it is total heresy!!! YOU ARE SAYING HE SINNED! He who knew no sin can't sin for he is a spotless lamb without blemish! If he sinned then you have no salvation cause he wouldn't be able to provide it for you and you would still be in your sins! He doesn't bend rules or laws either! He fulfilled all the law!!! To keep the Sabbath holy is one of the 10 commandments which are forever. He put his word above himself and it is settled in heaven.
You both need to go back to basic faith class 101 on this necessary matter. Paul a lie like this one saying messiah broke Sabbath is not a gold nugget!
You are both wrong on this and you are wrong that the blood covers two believer's marriage covenants when forsaken. It doesnt! It only covers sin when repented of. Not when not repented of. Two people that are both believers in their marriage are under more strict rules than unbelievers! They have the law and unbelievers don't! The devil is blinding you on basic tenets of faith. Sound like you have been listening to the lawless itching ears apostate tv preachers who say we have grace to do as we want.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 2 Jun, 2012 12:55 AM
BobBobbins says, "Jesus never broke the sabbath. If he had done so, he would not have been able to fulfill the law. Your salvation could not have occurred. I am not sure where you get such ridiculous ideas. That is completely absurd and totally false."
Absurd and totally false? . . .Really? "Therefore the Jews sought all the more to kill Him, because He not only broke the Sabbath, but also said God was His Father" (John 5:18). According to the apostle John, who wrote that scripture under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit . . .Jesus broke the Sabbath.
I wonder, BobBobbins, what justice should God mete out to you for misrepresenting Him with your statement above? Mercy or death by stoning?
Singer4u says, "Paul and Goldenfaith both said in their writings on this forum that Yahushua broke Sabbath. That is impossible! You two should know better than that and to say it is total heresy"
heresy? . . .really? "Therefore the Jews sought all the more to kill Him, because He not only broke the Sabbath, but also said God was His Father" (John 5:18). According to the apostle John, who wrote that scripture under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit . . .Jesus broke the Sabbath.
I wonder, Singer4u, what justice should God mete out to you for misrepresenting Him with your statement above? Mercy or death by stoning?
