Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 2 Feb, 2012 11:28 PM
Thanks to a question about divorce and remarriage posted on another thread, I felt the need to address those on this site who may be suffering from the weight of guilt and condemnation heaped on them because of their reasons for divorce.
I wrote the following article, "The Stone Thrower", based on actual instances that happened on this site. If you are one of those who have been ostracized by others for having an "Unbiblical Divorce," please take the time to read. May it minister to your heart.
The Stone Thrower
I want to touch on a subject today that has long been regarded in Christendom as taboo . . . and that is . . . DIVORCE. Mention that word around some Christians and their hackles suddenly go up on the back of their neck. They pull out their proverbial stones ready to put to death anyone who they think has been un-biblically divorced. And to my shame, I was one of them�a stone thrower.
We all know the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:3-11. The scribes and Pharisees (the religious self-righteous) had arrested this woman and dragged her before Jesus. One has to wonder how these Pharisees caught such a woman "in the very act" of adultery. How convenient for them. It's amazing the depths of depravity the self-righteous will sink to in order to defend their religious arguments. Did they have the paparazzi spy on her to get some juicy pictures for the whole world to see?
At any rate, they dragged this poor woman in front of Jesus and proudly proclaimed, "Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" (John 8:5)
Zowie!! These men can quote the Word of God . . . at least the parts that suit their fancy.
I like our Lord's reaction. "But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear" (John 8:6b).
Don't you just love it when someone ignores you . . . especially when you're trying to win an argument? But the self-righteous rarely lie down without a fight, and those religious Pharisees were determined to prove that they had the "truth." So they continued pestering Jesus, knowing that the Law of Moses was on their side. It's not a good idea to pester Jesus, especially when it comes to "pointing a finger" at someone.
"So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.' And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst" (John 8:7-9).
This introductory story of the woman caught in adultery has a purpose: I wanted you to have a glimpse of the mentality of a "stone thrower." They are usually self-righteous, ready to condemn, and can quote the Word of God. Ouch . . . I just described me.
I had a clear cut answer for the reasons one might give to justify divorce which I thought was quite Biblical. And in my mind, there was only one reason . . . "But I say to you, that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32). There you have it�plain and simple. Who could argue with such a statement? It is the Word of God! I thought I had the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . yet the truth is . . . I was ignorant of the ways of God. "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13).
And it was in my ignorance to God's ways that I threw stones at the divorced ladies on a Christian dating site some time ago. As a widower, I was on this site looking for a prospective wife. I was so appalled at the amount of women who were divorced on this site whose reasons for separating from their husbands did not match my view of scripture. In order to protect myself from these "contaminated souls," I purposely wrote something in my profile for those that I would consider as wife material: "You may be single, widowed, or divorced (must be for Biblical reasons only)."
When I would communicate with these divorced ladies, I would immediately ask them to provide details on the reason for their divorce. If they could not give me an answer of infidelity as the reason for their divorce, then I considered them unmarriageable. Yet God has a way of grabbing His child's attention when that child is in error.
One of the ladies on this dating site told me her story of divorce after I demanded it. Her husband was deep in bondage to pornography and had no interest whatsoever in repentance. The man had not physically hopped into bed with another woman, and so in my self-righteousness, I condemned the poor wife for wanting to opt out on the marriage. And the "stones" that I threw created fresh wounds in her heart while she recounted those painful memories of her husband's infidelity as he lusted after porn. According to Jesus' own words, her husband WAS GUILTY of adultery: "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I ignored that scripture and concentrated only on Matthew 5:32. She lashed out at me, saying that she was glad Jesus did not condemn her even if I did. I have to admit, I was shaken by her story which moved me to tears.
Then there was another lady whom I demanded to give an account for her divorce. I threw "stones" at her as well when she could not give me a reason of infidelity for her separation. In bitter anger, she struck back at me, stating how her husband had broken her nose and physically abused her. I ignored the scripture which reads, "But God has called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:15b) and concentrated again on Matthew 5:32. However, her story bothered me very much just like the other woman's.
I began to seek God earnestly. These were only two of the many ladies who shared with me their heartbreaking stories of divorce. There were so many reasons given for divorce and none of them fell under sexual immorality (fornication) as I saw it. I sincerely asked the Lord to open my eyes. Was there any scriptural evidence to support these women's choices to opt out of a marriage other than infidelity? Yes, there was.
God led me to Matthew 19:3-12. The Pharisees were looking for a reason to trap Jesus in His words. Their previous scheme had not worked with the woman caught in adultery. However, if they could just get Jesus to say something contradictory to the Law of Moses, then they could brand Him as a heretic. So they asked Jesus this question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" (Matthew 19:3b)
Jesus' answer was, and still is, God's original intention for marriage: "Have you not read . . . the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:5b-6).
The Pharisees did not like His answer. For Jesus had taken them right back to Genesis before there ever was a Moses or a Law of Moses so that they could hear what GOD SAYS about marriage. Yet the stiff-necked Pharisees persisted with another question: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" (Matthew 19:7)
Jesus responds, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8).
The self-righteous Pharisees were using the Law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason. And because of this, the Lord had some very strong words for them. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
I can just hear the stone throwers shouting, "See, I told you . . . it's right there in the word . . . 'sexual immorality!'"
Wait a minute. Like Paul Harvey, let's hear "the rest of the story" before jumping to any conclusions. After verse 9 comes verse 10. Even Jesus' disciples, which would include us, were amazed at the words of Jesus. "His disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry'" (Matthew 19:10). Yeah, I can see their point. If sexual immorality (fornication) is the only reason for divorce, then perhaps we are better off not getting married.
But look at Jesus' response to his own disciples in verse 11. It stands to reason that if the disciples' statement was true, then Jesus would have said something to affirm it as such. He does not!
"But He said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given'" (Matthew 19:11).
What saying? The saying in verse 9 of course. NOT ALL can accept the saying that fornication is the ONLY reason for divorce.
Now notice that Jesus goes on to explain what He meant with the following verse:
"For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:12).
What did Jesus mean by this? He tells us that three different men all became eunuchs for different reasons. One was born a eunuch, another was made a eunuch by men, and still another made himself that way for the kingdom of heaven. They all became eunuchs for different reasons, but who is to say which eunuch is "God approved"? God accepted them all. That's the point!
Likewise, there are many reasons someone might seek a divorce: physical and verbal abuse from a spouse . . . being married to an unbeliever who makes life a literal hell . . . marital unfaithfulness . . . the stress of being married to an alcoholic for 23 years . . . or living with a pornographer who refuses to repent. Which one of these reasons for divorce is "God approved"? That's the point Jesus was making. Just as the eunuchs were acceptable to God regardless of how they became a eunuch, so also is a woman acceptable to God who seeks to be free from an abusive husband, even if infidelity is not involved. You and I cannot see in the heart of that abused person . . . but God can. For God has called them to peace.
And the church has done more harm counselling emotionally and physically battered women to stay in a relationship citing Matthew 5:32 "except for sexual immorality" as the only just cause for divorce. Women have actually committed suicide and murder under the stress of remaining in an abusive situation because their legalistic church counseled them to do so.
You may have heard of the case in the U.S. where a lady killed her husband (a pastor) who had been abusing her for years. God had called her to peace . . . but she never knew it, and one day she snapped. The evidence of abuse was so overwhelming that the courts found this woman not guilty of murder by reason of insanity.
I certainly do not want to imply that people should take their marriage so lightly as to divorce for every whim and fancy. I would not condone that, and neither does the Word of God. Every marriage will have its share of problems which can be worked out with God's help by two committed individuals. Yet there are some women, especially those suffering physical and mental abuse, who have reached the tipping point of no return; and the only thing they can do to preserve their sanity is to get out of that marriage. And ultimately, it is to the Lord they answer to, not you or me. He has called them to peace.
After God opened my eyes to the truth of scripture, I contacted those ladies on the dating site who I had thrown "stones" at and apologized profusely. I was truly grieved that I had been so self-righteous and blind, wounding those precious sisters for whom Christ died.
Now back to the story that I began with. The "stone throwers" had already dropped their rocks and left the scene with a guilty conscience, leaving Jesus alone with the adulterous woman.
"He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?'"
"She said, 'No one, Lord.'"
"And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more'" (John 8:10b-11).
HALLELUJAH�MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT!!!
Blessings in Christ Jesus,
Paul Janz
(All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version.)
"The Stone Thrower" Copyright � 2010 by Paul Janz.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 07:30 PM
I have been physically threatened and threatened with having the police called on me while out witnessing/inviting people to church. �I have worked in some of the roughest neighborhoods in the DC/Baltimore area.
��I don't have to threaten anyone in return because I have displayed a Christian attitude towards them. �If they do not want to hear, that is on them. �In fact, the Bible instructs us to walk away from them. �This does not make us cowardly, in fact it takes more courage to walk away.
Mark 6:11�And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when ye depart thence, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.�
12 And they went out, and preached that men should repent.
By walking away, this often leaves the door open for the next time or for someone else who may be in the neighborhood.
True story: I had a lady chew me out over being in her neighborhood talking to kids even though I had kids with me. �She threatened to call the police on me. �I apologized for upsetting her, although I had done nothing wrong...in her eyes I had. �(I was scared because any police incidence could cause me to lose my job/career). �I maintained a meek and humble spirit/attitude and God blessed it as the next morning, she and her two kids started riding the church bus on which I served as the captain. �She was one of the most faithful and helpful women I worked with. �Several years later, she apologized for how she treated me that first time we met. �I told her I had forgiven her years before. �Had I talked back to her, told her I had a right to be there, she would never have ridden the bus...and many other children would not have ridden as she brought many others with her over the years.
I wrote this not to brag but to provide a real example how being meek can be rewarded.
As my mom used to say...you can win more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 07:34 PM
2 Timothy 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
When you deny the power of God to hold those who have accepted His free gift of salvation, you are putting yourself above God.
In one of the daily devotions I received today:
"Jesus' victory over death means there is nothing in your life that is bigger than He is, and if you belong to Him, nothing can defeat His plans for you."
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 07:37 PM
2 Timothy 3:8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
10 But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience,
11 Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.
12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.
13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
2 Timothy 4:17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.
18 And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 07:38 PM
Titus 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;
8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 08:11 PM
Paul wrote:��"BobBobbin, you could not be MORE WRONG! Your LIES are outrageous, Teach ib and I are one in spirit. "
"This statement is so true! You see Bob, that's the beauty of being one in spirit with God's Spirit of mercy and grace. We are able to love one another and still hold different views. I am quite sure teach ib and I will not agree on everything�it really doesn't matter. But what we do agree on is this: that God is "merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, and transgression and sin" (Exodus 34:6-7a). That is God's very nature, and He wants that in His children. "
Yes, Paul, we are one in the Holy Spirit.
Romans 8:16�The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:�
17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint- heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
We agree on the fundamentals of the faith. �No two humans agree on everything, even Christians have disagreements.
Bob wrote: "You would make a deal with the devil if it meant he would agree with you. Your posts have shown this. You know that she is wrong but you can't chance losing her support at this point, can you?"
I believe Paul would have no problem pointing out if I was wrong, just as he has correctly pointed out your errors.
God's Word stands on its own, which Paul and I regularly cite.
Exodus 33:19 And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy.
Micah 7:18 Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.
19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
20 Thou wilt perform the truth to Jacob, and the mercy to Abraham, which thou hast sworn unto our fathers from the days of old.
Romans 14:12
So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 08:17 PM
Paul said in his article: "The self-righteous Pharisees were using the Law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason. And because of this, the Lord had some very strong words for them. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery"
Teach_ib says: " Now the reality is I CAN divorce for ANY reason."
QUESTION: According to Paul's article, who were the ones using the law of Moses as an excuse to bail out on marriages for any flippant reason?
ANSWER: THE SELF RIGHTEOUS PHARISEES.
Paul claims that he and Teach are of the same spirit... actually I can't disagree with him.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 08:19 PM
Singer wrote: "paul, bob is winning in his debate with you. He has proven you wreong over and over and all you do is post something on your counter that doesn't even address the point at hand. People on this forum have noticed you are ineffective in your counters paul. They reflect a sore loser of the debate who cried and took all his toys and went home off the playground . You still lost hey but at least you get to keep your toys huh?"
Winning? �According to who? �Bob has posted very few Scriptures, he has ranted and raved and jumped to faulty conclusions. �If that is the contest, then, yes, Bob is winning...and you are a close second.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 08:28 PM
Singer wrote: �"So what are we both doing here paul as you ask?
Winning!!! So take your toys and go home off the playground!"
These are really mature posts. �You have been Scripturally refuted on every point. �I haven't seen many of your posts that don't display a childish attitude as well as bullying.
You don't scare me in anyway. �Your idle threats are unbecoming to the Christian faith. �Your analogy to a police officer or military member doing their job as being equivalent to running into problems while witnessing on the street is faulty.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 18 Jun, 2012 08:29 PM
Teach_ib said: "I believe Paul would have no problem pointing out if I was wrong, just as he has correctly pointed out your errors.
NOTICE: She claims here that Paul has correctly pointed out my errors. Wow, really? There are two points that Paul has regularly held to by which he tries to expose my "errors" He has beat these two dead horses into the ground and he is still wrong on both points.
POINT 1. Matthew 19:11 "All men cannot receive this saying" error
FACT: I have shown numerous times that he is the one in error on this passage.
CHALLENGE: Here is an open challenge to everyone. Print both interpretations and take them to your pastor. When you get done post the results here for everyone.
POINT 2. Jesus broke the sabbath error.
FACT: Jesus never broke the Sabbath. I have shown this using Luke 6. Anyone who believes or teaches that Jesus broke the Sabbath commands is in deep and very serious error. Heretical error.
CHALLENGE: Take Paul's claim that Jesus broke the Sabbath to your pastor and ask him whether or not Paul is right. When you get done post the results here for everyone.
