I was surprised to see that there are a lot of wonderful christian men out here! But sadly, I've read many profiles of men who doesn't want to meet women from my country (the Philippines), and some doesn't want women from Southeast Asia and Africa. What shocked me the most is that some of these men testify that they are true christians who are active in church, and some are even ministers. Wow! it's really hurtful and insulting. Come to think of it.. is this what the Bible taught us? is this what Jesus will do? is this what we learned from church? If we christians cannot love everyone as they are, how can we truthfully and whole heartedly tell the world about Jesus? I understand that this is a dating site and some concerns fill our minds. But seriously, if u are just looking for friends, why apply racism or generalization? This is not how TRUE CHRISTIANS think! I really hope that everyone will comprehend that not all Filipinas, not all women from Southeast Asia and Africa are 'Gold-Diggers'. I'm speaking out loud for all the women of those countries that are being looked down upon, we are not to be judged by where we come from nor by the color of our skin!
:stop: One fact that every man should know - wherever you are, you are surrounded by women who are users. They are everywhere, and, yes, even in first world countries. If you were used by a Filipina for money, probably married you only for the visa, I'm sorry for what happened but u should come to realize that that's an isolated case. NOT ALL women from the Philippines have that intentions.
:prayingm: Don't get me wrong, I completely understand guys who want women from within their radar and that each and everyone has his own preferences. But those guys who put comments like "i don't want to meet women from the Philippines because i don't want drama, i don't want someone to beg me for money, i won't petition anyone, NO Gold-diggers!" This message is for you, I hope you take the time to read the verses below and I pray to God that He'll instill realizations in you.
James 4:11-12 ESV
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
Galatians 5:14 ESV
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: �You shall love your neighbor as yourself.�
First of all, i didn't do this to gain trust. I didn't mention anything about trust. All I want is for our voice to be heard. Secondly, I am referring to guys who post all those dreadful comments concerning Filipinas on their profiles, which is uncalled for since there are a lot of better ways to get rid of them. Are u one of those guys? Well, I guess not cause ur profile is clean, but u do think they same way that they do. About that Filipina who begged u for photos, so she didn't really make a fake profile? Are u assuming that she did? Lastly, I'm aware that there are Filipinas who ask for money, marry for a visa and so on... and I hate that too! Now, did I suggest that u trust all messages that u get? There is nothing wrong with men being honest. In fact, we women appreciate that. What I can suggest, maybe ignore the messages? tell them that it's not gonna work? maybe write on ur profile "no to Asians", or to be more specific say "no to Filipinas" BUT STOP RIGHT THERE! no need to add more blah blah blah FAKE! blah blah blah GOLD-DIGGERS! Do u really get my point?
Sparrow: Perhaps I should have stated what huge, ridiculous irony it was that MY GRANDMA, of all women, would say something like that. She is a crazed control freak that dominates everyone and everything in her path: nothing "submissive" or very feminine at all about her. The fact that she was criticizing "ruined" Western women is beyond bizarre, since she is the most unattractive woman I could imagine. Also, she is almost 90. My mom is only a couple of years older than you, though, but she has a crush on the contractor.
Well, I am going to leave this discussion I think, it looks like it's going to turn into a vain argument of "I'm upset and so am I". People want what they want, and whether it's right or wrong, why would you want to change it? I'd rather be with a man who loves me for me than a man who chooses me because he hears generalized things about my 'type' of woman, and I wouldn't want a man who didn't want to talk to me for other generalized reasons.
I can't blame those ladies who seem hopeless to find a quick way to better themselves. I guess if things would have been different, you probably wouldn't be finding them here.
On the other hand, i do not condone the mistakes that they are doing.
My sister is engaged to an American guy ( she is 24, he is 28 ), and i can see that my sister really loves him, not because he was American, but how he treated her, but i have seen it takes a lot of time, patience, sacrifice, sleepless nights, prayer and you have to be extremely in love to endure the pain of not being with each other. They have been dating for 3 or more years, and still is until now. Would i want that for myself? Yes, i think it will be worth it. But does he need to be American? No. He could be from any part of the world, for all i care. As long as he is a Godly man and we share the same belief.
So i guess it all boils down to everyone's conviction. I hope that some men also would be wise enough to know which is the diamond among the rocks ( lol, my figure of speech sucks ). And for those men who have been hurt and used, forgive and forget then move on.
No one can change the world. No one can change what people want. And no Filipina can change how some Westerners see us. It's like being accused of a crime you didn't do. We can't redeem ourselves, we can't prove ourselves. It's unfair, but we have no choice but to live with it because at the end of the day, we are only Filipinas. One thing is certain - that trying is better than not trying at all. We argue, yes, but I know that this message will not be in vain. Even if only one of those guys get to read this and make him realize, I'd be very happy! Maybe he'd erase what's written on his profile, share this message with his friends, that will go a long way.
Let me tell u something - My father works for an organization that was started by the Americans. There are times that some Americans working for the org and some interns come to the Philippines to visit and see how things work here. Sometimes they'd go on trips, local and abroad, together with my father and his subordinates. These trips are paid by the org. But why do Americans get the big suite, while my father and his troop get the cheaper room? When my father gets home, he'd start talking about all this, and express that he feels so inferior, he would say that Americans are arrogant and that they only take credit for themselves without acknowledging their hardwork. He's no longer happy with his job and is planning to resign soon.
I have relatives in US who have lived there for almost 30 years. They always say that life is better there, benefits are good, and u will feel secured. But they always stress how they dislike Americans, that they're too lazy and very arrogant. They even warned me not to marry an American, they say Filipinos are still better when it comes to morals and values.
Now, are my father and relatives generalizing? Yes. Do I have enough reasons to hate Americans? Maybe. Do I hate Americans? No, because that's not fair. Do I think Filipinos are better than Americans? No, nor the Americans are better than Filipinos. Do I think Americans will make good husbands? Maybe some. Will I marry an American? Who knows, but I do know that I wouldn't waste my time on any man of any race who is disgusted by my heritage.
Well, I am still grateful to the Americans cause in December 1898, in less than a year of knowing Philippines exists, Pres. McKinley paid the demand of Spain for $20 million to concede the islands to the United States. Spain who plundered our land and waters and people for 300 years. Every American is our debtor , they brought us education that is why today we are considered English teachers in Asia. Philippines, an American territory then could have been a state of the US if not for our leaders who wanted personal prestige to become little presidents. But it is destiny we are not, it is destiny our rich resources cannot be fully developed for the benefit of the people because of peace and order issues. Our neighbor pumps the oil we share the same reserve. Another neighbor wants some of the islands. Was it good our little presidents then demand for independence? I am way off topic now, sorry, just like my father I am very pro American.
Yes, that's why i said we owe our culture to others.. like the spaniards, japs, americans, chinese.. but of course mercymay, not all Americans are good, u should be careful as well.. but that's another topic.. :laugh:
In writing my post above, I come to wonder how is it that we are under Spain for 300 years yet we are not speaking Spanish like we speak English?
We've been right away educated by Americans yet Spain left us ignorant for 300 years though they brought us Catholicism by the sword. Hmmm...religion was really the opium of the poor and the oppressed.
We don't have Spanish in school anymore, unlike English it's everywhere. It's good if they include it in the curriculum again.. haha! I guess our grandparents were both good at English and Spanish. And in Zamboanga, they speak Spanish too, but I heard some words are wrong.. :ROFL:
