I have talked with / written to some men who made it pretty clear that their former relationship included sleeping with a person. That totally goes against what God expects a Christian to do!!! These men came from this CDFF site!!! I want a man who, even if married before, to show self-control. God forbid that I allow a man to "take me to bed" as a part of our relationship!! Saving ourselves for the one who God chooses for us is going to help us trust our mates, and they, in turn, will be able to trust us more. It has been proven that if a person is promiscuous before marriage, it will carry over into the marriage.
I may be waiting a long time for God's choice; maybe God is helping me to become stronger in the self-control physical part!
"that guy" I totally agree with everything you said. I think respect is a huge thing - you have to be able to have respect not only for the opposite sex but also the same sex, old and young. I do think girls should still be able to open to door for themselves or a guy and not take advantage of the fact that chivelry does exsit. Which I thank every male who still has respect for women. And yes, no one should kick a dog. lol
I also believe that it is wrong to have sex before you are married. It's such a special thing that I find makes marriage so much more special, a bond that you shared with that one person you will spend the rest of your life with.
I totally agree and believe that God will forgive anyone of ANY sin if they truly are sorry and ask God for forgiveness. All sins are equal in God's eyes. It does sound funny that in God's eyes the murder is at the same level as the theft but that's the way he works and he cleans our slate 100% and TOTALLY FORGETS about our shortcomings if we asks Him for forgiveness. Which is completely amazing and super hard to comprehend. Asking for forgivness is the easier part I find, it's accepting his forgivness that's the hard part. I don't know about others but I tend to dwell on past sins and find it hard that God actually forgives me. But he does...and it just makes me stand in aw.
Well said Cheryl8. I totally agree with what you said about being harder to accept forgiveness. That's alot of the reason I felt led to type in my response to this thread. Alot of people who have sins in their past (ie: everyone) find it hard to forgive themselves. I feel like we should help them do that, not rebuke them. I know I'd be in really bad shape in my life if people from my past hadn't extended a helping hand to help me forgive myself
Thanks that guy. I know forgiveness is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. It's hard enough struggling with the guilt we put on ourselves let alone having others condeming us. I agree, we need to help instead of rebuke. There is nothing better then to be feel loved by others when you feel that you are surrounded in darkness.
That is a totally respectable thing. Forget if i think it is respectable actually because the important thing is that is pleasing to God and shows obedience to Him. Yea i have had sex before but now I am Christian and I wont have sex until marriage. That is one major factor in finding a woman because most girls only want that ya know. Even in church its hard because many girls are taken or want the same thing. Basically I commend you and I totally feel the same way. God bless!!
I have never posted anything to a forum before, but I must speak out on this. It is not God's will for ANY sex outside of marriage! If anybody is having trouble finding it in the Bible here are a few words from God Himself. Heb. 13:4, 1 Cor. 6:8-9, Matt. 5:28, 1 Thes. 4:3, Jud 1:7, Col. 3:5. Anybody who has seriously studued the Bible, can say with certainty that it is against God and His word.
Hey firemedic8. I totally agree that it is wrong and God does not want sex before marriage. I agree and plan to do so myself. I hope I wasn't confusing people with that. All I'm saying is that God still forgives if you have had sex before marriage. That's all I'm saying, God forgives if you are truely sorry for your sins which is an amazing part of believing in God.
and we both agree that sex before marriage is not going to happen with anyone we end up with.
Can it happen? yes.. should we as christian's be smart enough and wise enough to make sure we don't put ourselves into that position? yes.. what we learned is that you do NOT talk about fleshly things when you are making conversation. If it's merely a friend that you want to take things slow with, we also discovered in order not to get too attached you don't want to talk till wee hours of the morning or cut other things out of your life for that person.. Don't be like me and be so hungry after "fasting" (love) that you try jump right into the MEAL .. (by getting too attached) because you just got a taste of steak!(some of the wonderful godly men on here!! who know how to truly LOVE , care for, and protect a woman)
If you do decide you will be commited to one another and that is Gods' will for you I suggest talking about dreams for your future and your wedding and how you want your walls decorated and not anything to do with sexual intimacy.. If you are concerned that that person and you will not be compatible sexually then you haveen't taken the time to truly seek God's will for your mate. So don't rush into anything... and stay away from flesh. Seriously, what my friend told me and he's right is that it makes it not special anymore. Anyone can engage in premarital sex.. then what do you have to look forward to? where do you go from there? build on a friendship, a closeness and spiritual bond and when the time is right and there are vows, make love to your new spouse with all abandon. Pray daily that God blesses your sexual life and makes you compatible always and I think you can pray this for your future spouse and you before you even marry or find the right one... Also remember marriage is an example of christ's love for his bride. The world won't wait for consumation but we should because we should make sure that there is a firm foundation and that can't be based on sex.. btw, if you pray and let God make YOU the perfect mate even in that area, I guarantee that God will make sure your new mate will be just as perfect for you! :)
Anyway this is just advice from someone who's been there to keep yourself "clean" and "pure" before the Lord. It doesn't matter what our PAST is ..it's what our present and our future is!
that doesn't mean we come on here , meet someone,...get fleshy and UNWISE by going on a moonlit stroll, holding ands kissing and then ..whatever else the flesh wants (all alone mind you).. and then say .. God I know you'll forgive me.. NEXT?
that's willful sin.. ! God says to run from temptation we say God deliver us from evil.. while we walk right into it.. duh!
As christians we should always be mindful of the other person's spiritual walk.. We are to put them before ourselves as scripture teaches.. if you want a wonderful woman of God be a wonderful WISE man of God and vice versa.. think of them more highly than yourself..
Now, do you want to bring curses on a person's head that you care for? we are all brothers and sisters in Christ,...do we want to curse eachother?
or do we want to help and uplift one another.
We can get to know one another on here without any kind of sexuality being brought up and you all know it.
if you are surpised that there are men and women on a christian dating site that are looking for something other than a spiritual friend that may lead to a spouse? Scripture tells us in Jesus words that only 25% of christians are truly christians (read about the 4 types of soil to see that).. in our churches, on our streets and in our christian penpal/dating sites it's the same..!
How do you make sure that the person you are emailing is a true christian? what do they talk about? (now demons can talk about the lord but it's showy.. .. you can know who is serious and sincere) what are their desires, do the "beam" when talking about Jesus even in their letters? Scripture says our spirit bears witness with their spirit.. it happens we can do that!
So.. bear witness, test the spirits..don't know the word? read it so you know what you are testing against.. litmus paper? it's called the bible the word of GOD JESUS! :)
so.. yes, if you have come here like I have after years of abuse and even living in sin for several years.. but God has cleansed you. .All he asks is , like the adulteress.. GO and SIN NO MORE!
shouldn't you be willing to Sin No More so that you and your new love can have something special and pure before God?
Bravo SJC, Leon, Joy, Chey, Cheryl, Guy, Fabolous, Medic, and you all. First for discussing with such passion this tactic of the enemy to pervert, corrupt, and destroy this most holy and beautiful picture of God's Eternal Purpose for creating us all. Namely, the joining of two to become one to bring forth offspring on which to lavish the love that the two have for one another. For this purpose a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and two shall become one.
This as all things scriptural and spiritual is but a picture of a higher purpose for creation. God joining with His Bride is the Purpose He created us all for. As we all feel the desire for a spouse and God even declares, "It is not good for man to be alone," and again says to Eve, "... and your desire shall be for your husband." So does God give us a picture of His own Heart.
God was in fact declaring, "It is not good for God to be alone!!" and again, "Your desire shall be for me (love God with all your, heart, mind and soul...). We have these Godly desires because we are in His image and He had them first, for us. God performed the first marriage, then told them to be fruitful and multiply, that we would have the very children who would become His Bride.
All this was stolen from Him in the fall of Adam and deception of Eve. Adam sold His birthright (as Esau did) for an apple. Even when that apple comes in the form of our beautiful Eve who is our rib, if it is not done as God ordained then it leads to death.
Yes, God forgives for He saw the fall before He ever created and therefore was, is and forever will be the Lamb slain before the foundation of the earth. His Purpose was never in jeopardy because He defeated death, and sin before it was ever created by dying and rising before He ever created. If Lucifer would have known he never would have crucified the Lord of Glory.
Lucifer, the devil in all his insanity seeks to besmirch and thwart the expression of God's Purpose by destroying Godly relationships and the marriage bed, thus tarnishing the raising of the offspring born by our unions with our spouse. He does this by attacking us with shame, guilt, and unforgiveness of ourselves. We must forgive all who have hurt or offended us. Even ourselves.
God does forgive and declares, go and sin no more and will forgive seventy times seven (endlesssly) those who transgress against Him but by committing the transgression of Adam, Esau... we give up our birthright to rule and reign with Him. Our willfullness in not laying down our lives (our lusts and desires) that we may gain Him now and forever causes us great harm for we hold on to that which is passing away and lose that which stays with us forever.
Choices. We must always choose. Furthermore, we must beware for perilous times will come for men will be lovers of themselves... without self-control... rather than lovers of God. Of this sort are those who enter into households and take gullible women captive loaded down with their sins, led on by various impulses. Always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth!!!
The truth is that Jesus died to set us free from the slavery to sin and translate us into slaves of righteousness. He is the very power that dwells inside us to keep us from all sin. We must surrender. This sanctification process takes a lifetime but we must believe the truth if we are going to be able to stand against the lie. The same power that raised Him from the dead dwells within us and grants us the power to overcome all that the enemy would throw at us.
Let us not sell ourselves for an apple or for a moment of pleasure but rather let us stand and display to all of creation the wisdom and power of the grace of God which dwells in us to make us free from the law of sin and death.
Whether prodigals who have fallen or the faithful ones who stayed home we are all united by the love of the Father. Let us not judge one another but speak the truth in love, encouraging one another unto greater acts of righteousness.
For the Bride shall be clothed in fine linen which is the righteousness acts of the saints. May He reign in our hearts and in all our choices that we may take our place at His Side.
Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that asking for forgiveness and then committing the same sin willfully is wrong, and against God's will. I'm not trying to say that it is okay to repeatedly commit the same sins that we have been forgiven for is right. That's the same as becoming a Christian so that you'll have "hell insurance".
The reason I've said what I've said is because we as Christians are always being judged as the judgers in our society. What I have a problem with is those who openly rebuke others for past sins. I think it is important to share what we feel is wrong and give the biblical examples of where God says it's wrong. However, I also think it's important that we as Christians don't portray an image of "you can't be in our club because you've done this before". I've seen how that turns people away. While it is important to discuss what we believe God's will is for us to do, I feel it is much more important to explain God's unfailing love. Love that surpasses our understanding. If I were a new Christian, or on the fence of accepting him into my heart, I'd much rather look at it in that light than in the light of I'm a horrible person for the things in my past.
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not disagreeing, and commend everyone here for the things that have been said. I'm just trying to base my opinions on how it would look to someone who is not as strong of a believer, and explain that there is not a reason to give up on faith because of past sins.
