I was surprised to see that there are a lot of wonderful christian men out here! But sadly, I've read many profiles of men who doesn't want to meet women from my country (the Philippines), and some doesn't want women from Southeast Asia and Africa. What shocked me the most is that some of these men testify that they are true christians who are active in church, and some are even ministers. Wow! it's really hurtful and insulting. Come to think of it.. is this what the Bible taught us? is this what Jesus will do? is this what we learned from church? If we christians cannot love everyone as they are, how can we truthfully and whole heartedly tell the world about Jesus? I understand that this is a dating site and some concerns fill our minds. But seriously, if u are just looking for friends, why apply racism or generalization? This is not how TRUE CHRISTIANS think! I really hope that everyone will comprehend that not all Filipinas, not all women from Southeast Asia and Africa are 'Gold-Diggers'. I'm speaking out loud for all the women of those countries that are being looked down upon, we are not to be judged by where we come from nor by the color of our skin!
:stop: One fact that every man should know - wherever you are, you are surrounded by women who are users. They are everywhere, and, yes, even in first world countries. If you were used by a Filipina for money, probably married you only for the visa, I'm sorry for what happened but u should come to realize that that's an isolated case. NOT ALL women from the Philippines have that intentions.
:prayingm: Don't get me wrong, I completely understand guys who want women from within their radar and that each and everyone has his own preferences. But those guys who put comments like "i don't want to meet women from the Philippines because i don't want drama, i don't want someone to beg me for money, i won't petition anyone, NO Gold-diggers!" This message is for you, I hope you take the time to read the verses below and I pray to God that He'll instill realizations in you.
James 4:11-12 ESV
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
Galatians 5:14 ESV
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: �You shall love your neighbor as yourself.�
I have traveled and lived around the world. I spent most of last yer living in Kuwait where there were many Philipinos. I regularly ate at a Philipino restuarant. Of all the nationalities present there, I always like the Philipinos most, as they were always happy and smiling. Having been around the world, I've always been inclined to like non-American women more than American women. I have nothing against anyones nationality. If I found myself living in the Philipines I would have no problem dating a woman from there.
Now that being said, I will not correspond with Philipinas on this site. First there are a lot of scam profiles on this site and it is very obvious from the language that they are outside the US, so that right there starts to put a negaitive bias against anyone international. A seperate category is all the legitimate profiles that are from poor countries. I very seldom receive communications from American women who want to get to know me. Yet almost every time I am on this site I receive IM's and emails from Philipinas. Am I to believe that for some reason I am just that attractive to Philipinas? Or is it more likely that they seem me as a way to the US?
Why would I want to risk being fooled by someone? Why would I want to take the risk that she is lying and that as soon as her legal residency here is finalized, she won't divorce me?
I am sure there are many very nice and honest women on this site from the PI. But there are many who are not. Can you understand it from our point of view?
It is great you post your thoughts on this, it does hurt when I read comments that belittles us all Filipinas in general. But those who put those comments might already have bad experiences or just misinformed. We can�t deny there really are plenty of Filipinas here for money that chatting on line is even a full time job for some. Because there really are those who offer to pay for your time to chat, maybe so bored and just want someone to talk with, psychiatrist time maybe is too expensive.
I have a long time friend here who used to just send me money now and then. We enjoyed chatting sometimes 12 hours straight of or we play games on line like literati. Then I got too busy with work I was always out of town I have not come on line for over a month. When I come on line he was so furious why I disappeared. I said why? There are a hundred Filipinas on line you can talk to why wait and be mad at me? And he said: Yes, Filipinas on line whose sister has no uniform, need money; whose parents or whoever is dead, need money for burial, sick for hospital, for tuition, and so many other reasons needing money. But why is he complaining when he was happy sending me money?
On why a lot of Filipinas are looking for American/foreign husband? Maybe because those who married foreign husband are not growing old fast than those who married fellow Filipinos. There are lots of exceptions to this in the middle class but in the low income bracket, Filipinas are taken cared of better by a foreign husband. We can see it so well when they come for a visit and their kids, oh my, half Filipina and whatever is really beautiful. Those who died for insurance we cannot see, but those who made it to a great marriage became models to young and even old Filipinas. When I worked in a multinational company, I see it with my own eyes how they (foreign men) treat their wives, they are spoiled, treated and regarded so very well. Well, I really wish I was more observant when I was young and married a foreign husband haha.
Well Ria, if there are those who looked down on us, there really are those who really love us but the distance is the trouble. It cost a lot to come over here and cost a lot more to marry and the risk is there that one is only marrying for the green card. I�ve been told by a lot also that they love Filipinas because they have seen it from their GI friends coming home with Filipina wives and been treated like a king. But time changes also, most of new generation Filipinas I don�t think so.
By the way, it is a Christian site but not everybody are really Christians at heart.
Smokin hot? hahaha! Thanks i appreciate it.. i love talking to people from other countries too, learning more about other cultures and their views is just great! Good idea asking about siylii's grandmother, u should go on a date! hehe
:prayingm: hope she's single.. LOL
@dgrimater:
that's not bad at all.. i guess ur just being practical..
@cobbler:
I'm glad that you like Filipinas and that you are open to possibilities. Be very cautious though. Yes, I've seen a few western men who were abandoned by their Filipina wives after getting a visa. How I wish I can :boxing: them in the face! :ROFL:
I do wish there was a better way! I hope you find her!
@silverfire:
I completely understand your point. I'm actually referring to guys who say they're looking for friends, but they write things like "i don't want to meet women from the Philippines because i don't want drama, i don't want someone to beg me for money, i won't petition anyone, NO Gold-diggers!" Isn't that mean? Seriously, if ur just looking for friends? There's no need to write all those comments! Why? will anyone send a friend some money? or petition a friend? I just don't get them, it's awful!
@siylii:
Thank you siylii! You know what, u just gave me more thoughts to ponder on.. hehe! I've met some men who say all those things about Western women, but of course I know that it doesn't apply to all. It seems that one drastic experience can make us hate half of the world, huh? LOL! As to meeting men from my country, I guess this one rule applies to all - it's just hard to find a real man nowadays! :ROFL: Then maybe statistics also, some say a ratio of 1:3 or 1:7, but I'm not so sure. And not to mention the guys who became gays, and those who are still in the making.. :laugh: now what? 1:10 or 1:15? :excited: And there are too many denominations here, I know a handful of single guys from church, most are married.
But hey, u found urself a boyfriend! I'm happy for u.. God bless u both!
:stop: How about those men who don't want to meet women from Africa? I just think it's cruel! I wish they come up with better ways to say what they prefer in a woman. This is a Christian site, let's not hurt each others feelings.
I understand your point of view. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes so that I can see things clearly. Honestly, I think it's a good idea that u won't entertain women from PI on this site, but that is if ur looking for a marriage partner and u don't want all the hassle. But what if ur only looking for friends? (that's what those guys wrote), is it really necessary to write all those unpleasant comments concerning Filipinas? Absolutely uncalled for, I think.
@mercymay:
so ur the one cobbler was talking about, nice to meet u! kamusta? :waving: I just needed to write how I feel, so that at least my voice or our voice rather will be heard. Wow that friend of urs! what happened to him? i guess he really trusted u. I think all women of any race, love to be pampered. Even men, i believe! Yeah true, too many risks for a western man to petition a fiance. If they are that interested with Filipinas, maybe it's better they find someone who is already in the US? or patiently wait for God's will if they meet somewhere down the road. If someone is taking that big risk for the sake of true love, :bow: to u. Open your senses and seek God's will. Maybe what u said is true, that not all members here are true christians. Anyways, dumudugo ilong ko dito.. hahaha!
Actually I lost my long time friend when I refused his money cause I felt then he needed it more than I do. He was from so far but I really felt so pampered during our friendship. When I look back, I see him as an angel sent by God to walk with me in my darkest hours.
I was also told they wanted a Filipina fresh from home because the values is still Filipino.
Actually, men from there liking Filipina here are struggling with their relatives and friends discouraging them to come and really marry a Filipina. So if at first the guy is really interested and kind of getting lost later, it is because he just did not love you enough and fear of the risk won.
@cobbler
I am on this site because I am looking for a Christian foreign husband, am open to move to be with him or maybe he would like to stay here it is a beautiful country. In marrying I am not escaping from something bad because I have a great life here, am not rich but kind of comfortable God blessed me so much already. I have already loved and lost because of my status being single parent for almost two decades. Resolving marital status here is very complicated, women are not protected�there I think that is one reason I would love to move haha. My petition for declaration of nullity of my null and void marriage (marriage without marriage license) is in court and hopefully soon I would love to really move on with life
Money is a sensitive issue, even Jesus compared Himself to money (Matt6:24). And we all should be aware not only about scammers, but about EVERYTHING (1Peter5:8). I understand of people having their own preferences, but just remember that whoever judges, that person will be judged within his/her measurement (Matthew7:2), neither I am saying to be attracted to people from the same race/country is a sin cuz that's a free will given by God. Just one thing to remember, we are all the same in Jesus, I mean ALL. Ruth was from Moab, a poor country and she was blessed with Boaz as her hubby from a rich country, a proof of God does approve inter racial or inter country marriage. If God has a way, He will open the doors that no one could shut (John3:8).
Ria (and other non western Christian women on this site), I really understand your frustration, but hey if those men do have that perspective, why do we want to spend any time to correspondent with them? Marriage needs lots of faith, hard work, and effort. If they had it in their mind, probably they are not suitable partners for true Christian ladies here (I'm saying this to ALL ladies on this site). I believe the true men of God wouldn't say such things or act like that, and the most frustrating thing is to read the line of "true man of God" and "I don't want drama part".
I can mention some of the guys I've been corresponding here and they're all Americans, they're all respectful and I can be very sure that they are true men of God. I always say to American men who are fed up of American women, that it all has nothing to do with nationality of the women they've been talking to. We are all real persons with our own characters and personalities, regardless of our nationality and origin country.
Logically, I understand where those men came from, bad experiences, distance, time zone, cost, extra effort, communication, etc. Who would want to spend thousands of dollars and fly across the globe just to have a "first date"? But I disagree with them in the way they communicate their preferences, there is a BETTER way to communicate their preferences. Plus, they've got a Mail Setting here, if they only want to talk to people from their origin country, just block people outside their origin country. No need to write down unnecessary things in our profile, right :glow:
If I were you, Ria, I would just shake off the dust of my feet. I believe God wouldn't send me a man of one of those categories :winksmile: tho when I first read your post, I felt like :boxing: took sometime for me to realize that all types of men are loved by Jesus :angel: include those type of men, and me, and you :applause:
Just for clarification, I�m not necessarily looking for a Filipino wife, all I am saying is that I don�t think that there is anything wrong with a woman who looks for a husband from a foreign country. I�m not in a financial position to be able to find a foreign wife.
MercyMay, I only mentioned your name because I have seen you post before that you are not necessarily here to find an American husband. What I was trying to say is that I�m sure there are Filipino ladies on this site that are looking for Filipino men. Just because this site is in English doesn�t mean that it is only for Americans.
It�s almost amusing to read that you feel that American men are really kind to their wives. All we tend to hear from American women is how all men are jerks. Maybe it�s because all the really nice ones have Filipino wives :ROFL::ROFL:
One thing I will say is that I appreciate the honesty of the foreign women that I have corresponded with. I have received messages from a few foreign ladies who I do feel are being honest about looking for an American husband, and not just trying to find a way into the country, and they state up front that they would like to pursue the possibility of marriage. I know when they say that they want to pursue the possibility of marriage, it doesn�t mean that they have already made up their minds to marry me, they would just like to see if we would make a good match. The point is, they are serious about finding a husband, it might be me, it might not. I really appreciate the honesty.
With American women, they just want to start out a �friends�. Which means that if you ask them out and if they feel that you have any inclination, if you have a wisp of a thought that there just might possibly be a hypothetical, theoretical possibility of some time in the vague future that there might be a feeling for a split second that she might be �Mrs. You Might Do�, she will panic and say that I�m just desperate to be get married. You have to somehow ask a woman out with absolutely no intentions what so ever of there being even the slightest hint in the remotest part of the deep crevices of your brain that this first date could just maybe, by some weird chance just might lead to a second more romantic date. And speaking of a �date�, you can�t even say that anymore because that implies a romantic possibility, which would put too much �pressure� on the woman, you have to say that you just want to hang out and do something with her for the simple reason that you just absolutely for no reason whatsoever you just to talk to her and get to know her better just because.
It�s just so much easier to be honest. I�m looking for a wife, she�s looking for a husband. Things might work out, things might not. Nothing more complicated than that.
Too bad you lost that friendship, but nice to know that u were there for each other. As to our values as Filipinas, I think culture has a lot to do with it. We have influences from other cultures around the globe, and we actually kinda owe it to them. I really hope u will find ur future husband here! Best Wishes! :prayingm:
@jesuslovesyouandme:
I know you understand my concern because you are also from Asia. Thanks for the post! And yes, they don't have the right to judge us, they will be judged. But no, I didn't try to connect with them, I just saw a lot of profiles. There's no reason for me to talk with them because they don't want that. Im sure we'll get into a :boxing: once we started chatting! :ROFL: No, that's not what true christians will do. That's what I've been trying to say exactly, there is indeed a better way for them to convey their preferences. This is why I had to post this message, so that maybe somehow one day they will understand.
To: Ria: This is what you've got to understand,or if you already know,then remember this-Most men out there prefer a certain type of lady,from a certain country (e.g U.S.A,Canada & U.K) or they believe that women from those countriesthat they're against contacting them are scammers,since those are the "most looked at" countries that have done this.But at the same time,i agree with you.It's not easy with me either,since i'm from the Caribbean & most girls do'nt want to respond to your messages when they've read my profile.Personally,i have a friend that i've met here (CDFF) from the Phililppines & i can tell you that you ladies are wonderful from out there! :glow:So do'nt you worry,do'nt you fret.You just see that as the guys who thinks that way for what they are.
I wasn't implying that you are in search of a Filipina for a wife.. hehe! Exactly, there is nothing wrong with looking for a spouse from another country. Are all men jerks? :ROFL: I think that when u ask a newlywed couple from any country, they'll both say that everything fits and everything's perfect! But after 5, 10, 20 years... he's a jerk! she's too fat! :ROFL: True, for women the word 'date' can cause a disaster! :ROFL:
or we play games on line like literati. Then I got too busy with work I was always out of town I have not come on line for over a month. When I come on line he was so furious why I disappeared. I said why? There are a hundred Filipinas on line you can talk to why wait and be mad at me? And he said: Yes, Filipinas on line whose sister has no uniform, need money; whose parents or whoever is dead, need money for burial, sick for hospital, for tuition, and so many other reasons needing money. But why is he complaining when he was happy sending me money?